01
Today, Friday, the past week, including the cross-Chinese New Year's Eve, how did everyone live?
For me, it was a week of experiencing all kinds of sour, sweet, bitter and spicy tastes in life.
Across the Chinese New Year's Eve, David and I drove our children to Suzhou Huayi Brothers Movie Park, watched other people bungee jumping, rode a very romantic carousel, and watched a 5-minute, very grand and gorgeous fireworks show.
Standing in the dense crowd, the husband holding his daughter next to him, the family looking up at the sky together, watching the beautiful fireworks blooming, and welcoming the arrival of the 2022 New Year together, it is really warm and full of ceremony!
However, the truth is that there was a big traffic jam on the way to come, the original one-hour journey, the opening and stopping for more than two hours; the child urinated urgently, taking advantage of the gap between the traffic jams, I held her fast through the traffic flow, and solved the problem in the green belt on the side of the road; David and I also had a fight because of the parking problem, I hated him for not being flexible enough, he hated that I didn't know how to drive and blind BB; and there were too many people to celebrate the New Year's Eve in the movie park, and to play any project had to queue for an hour or two, when queuing, the child would shout cold, A moment of shouting tired...
After watching the grand fireworks show, it was a traffic jam all the way, back to the hotel was already 2 o'clock, in the middle of the night also covered the child with a quilt, the damn thing is that the child woke up at 8 o'clock the next morning, shouting: "Mom, turn on the TV for me, I want to watch TV!" "Kids love staying in a hotel because the hotel is different from home and because the TV in the hotel is better than at home.
Two middle-aged men and women who have not slept enough, tired, are woken up by the child, and then start a busy day again, boiling water, dressing the child, seeing what food is nearby...
While David was taking a shower and the kids were watching TV, I packed up my things, felt my throat tighten and my chest a little stuffy (I was old enough to stay up late), and then decided to go outside for a walk.
The hotel is located on the edge of Dongsha Lake in Suzhou, and from the window you can see the lake outside, as well as the park view along the lake.
Before deciding to go out, I struggled for a while, whether to go with the children, waiting for my husband to take a bath and go with the family of three, or to go alone?
At that moment, I asked myself, what is your true inner thought? The answer is: I very much need to abandon my husband and daughter and go to nature alone, to be quiet.
So I said hello to the father and daughter and went out.
The weather was a little cold, through a cedar forest, to the lake, the cloudy sky revealed a blue reflection on the water.
There were several black wild ducks in the withered reeds on the shore, and they were paddling happily on the surface of the lake, and when they saw me coming, one of them plunged into the water and disappeared, leaving only a circle of ripples to ripple away.
There are many doves and magpies in the park, one will fly down from the trees, and the other will fly away, making a very nice bird call.
The fresh air and the quiet and elegant environment made my mind and body relax, and my physical discomfort was better.
After 18 minutes, after walking around the park alone, I returned to the hotel and saw that my husband and children thought they were cuter than before.
02
On New Year's Day, our family of three went to Chongyuan Temple on the edge of Yangcheng Lake with sleepiness to burn incense and worship the Buddha and pray for the New Year.
In the scenic area, there are not many people. In winter, the lake is covered with black-gray wilted lotuses, but the camellias in the temple are in full bloom. From time to time, the child stops to pick up the fallen petals.
After worshiping the Buddha, because I saw all kinds of Buddhas who were kind and kind-eyed or dignified and solemn, I washed my eyes and my heart was also purified. Watching the child running happily on the road, the old mother felt satisfied.
On the horizontal link of a temple in Chongyuan Temple are written four words "Mo asks for help.".
Why not ask for it?
I think of a passage from Flow: "We always think that rich, famous, handsome and beautiful people must have a full life, although evidence from all sides may indicate that they are not living comfortably." But we still firmly believe that as long as we have the same symbolic qualities as them, we will be happier.
If we do get more wealth and power, at least for a while, we will have the confidence that our lives will change. But symbolism can be deceptive — it tends to distort the reality that people think it should represent. In fact, what other people think of us or what we have is not directly related to the quality of life — what really matters is how we interpret ourselves and what happens to us. The only way to improve your life is to improve the quality of your experience. ”
Material possession and enjoyment are of course important, but it is the inner experience of each of us that determines the quality of our lives.
Mikhari Chiksen Mihalay, author of Flow, said: "Without pleasure, life is tolerable, sometimes even pleasant." But this pleasure does not last, and it depends on luck and external circumstances to help. If you want to control the quality of the experience, you must learn to create fun from everyday life. ”
Psychology and counseling are a great way to help people explore inward, increase self-awareness, change your reaction to things, and improve the quality of your experience.
03
On the evening of New Year's Day, I returned home from Suzhou smoothly. Finally, I can sleep in the comfortable big bed of my own home. Thinking that the fatigue of the New Year's Eve was slowed down for a few days, the ceremony felt that the old mother was a little unable to move.
On the 2nd I started working and the child's dad took her to the playground in the outdoor park for a morning. Chatting with my daughter at noon, I asked her: How many of my mother's visitors are unhappy because they think they have had a bad past year, have you had a good life in the past year?
She replied: I have had a good life in the past five years, and the reason is that I don't say that you all know it.
I said: If you don't say I don't know, can you tell me why?
She replied: Isn't it because I have the love of my parents for me, so I have a good life and am very happy!
In fact, life cannot be happy forever, without pain.
For example, in the afternoon, the child began to get sick with fever and cried out that his joints and muscles hurt.
The child had a fever for two consecutive days and gave her a little fever reduction medicine at home, but her spirit was not very good, so she was still taken to the hospital to see. At noon on the 3rd, she took her to the newly moved hospital in front of her house to see a doctor, but there was no number, so she visited the small park next to the hospital.
I woke up at noon and decided to go to the emergency room. Roar, all children who are similar to her, and there is only one doctor in the pediatric emergency department. It took nearly three hours to wait for our turn. Hungry and tired.
The child because of the severe fever, and queued for too long, the emotional state is very bad, originally the doctor never cried her, this time when the doctor used the tongue depressor to check the throat, when the blood was drawn, she was crying wow wow...
There is no eternal happiness in life, and even with the love of mom and dad, it is not exempt from the pain that you have to suffer as a human being. But with the love of parents and mothers, the child's heart is not lonely, and he has more courage in the face of inevitable pain.
The child got a bacterial infection, and the doctor prescribed two boxes of cephalosporins to eat at home. I work during the day and take care of the feverish child at night, 4 days in a row, it seems that the time to lie in bed is not short, but the quality of sleep can only be huh.
Last night the child finally stopped having a fever. David and I joked that on the first day of the New Year, the temple burned incense and asked the bodhisattva to bless the whole family with peace and health, and as a result, when he came back, the child was sick for a week.
How has everyone been doing this past week?
Both good and bad experiences are unique experiences in life.
Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it . (Life is 10% of what happens to you, and 90% of what you react to).)
When encountering bad experiences, how you perceive them determines the quality of your life.
Finally, attached to the recent chat records of my daughter and me, Bo Jun smiled.
On the day of the cross-Chinese New Year's Eve, I went to park the scenic spot of the advanced movie park with my child, saw the colored lights and Christmas tree at the entrance, and the child asked me: Mom, how come you don't have a little sense of ceremony?
I just sorted myself out of the distraction of the traffic jam: What is the performance of the sense of ceremony?
The child said: Just be happy, like this! As she spoke, she laughed, shaking her head and dancing on the road.
All right.
Then, you will see a mother and daughter jumping in the crowded scenic spot with a full sense of ceremony in order to match the sense of ceremony of the New Year's Eve.
Chatting with the child before going to bed, I don't know how to talk about the topic of three children.
She said: Mom, I wish you three children, come on!
I replied: I can't be born.
She said: Then I wish you a second child.
I replied: If you are not born, you will be born.
The child said: Then it will work! Who called you so lucky to have such a good child as me, well-behaved and cute!
I:...
There was also a conversation with her before going to bed about not allowing her to speak in kindergarten.
I asked: Can you speak while you are eating?
The child complained: Do not let you speak when eating. I really don't understand, you took so much effort to teach me to speak, why I didn't let me speak when I got to school, I didn't let me speak in class, I didn't let you talk when I ate and ate.
Two days ago, my sick daughter suddenly asked me: Mom, I see that you don't wear lipstick every day, and your lipstick can't be used up in a hundred years, can you wait for you to die, and your lipstick will be used by me?
I replied: Don't wait for me to die, wait until you're older, I'll buy you a new lipstick.
She was happy: Great.
Then start worrying: Isn't that unused lipstick a waste?