Regarding the evaluation of "one emperor through the ages", history lovers have competed back and forth, and they have never been able to come up with a final result. Today, we are fortunate not to talk about ming jun, but to talk about who is the "first emperor of the ages".
There are many feudal dynasties in China, so there are naturally many emperors, and those who can nominate the "first dusk in the ages" are estimated to be the King of Shang, the Emperor of Hanling, and so on. However, compared with the candidates in the author's mind, Di Xin has more than "violent" and Liu Hong has more than enough "obscenity", and both are "faint" insufficient. It can be said that Xiao Baojuan can be called the most faint-hearted emperor in history, and there are a lot of absurd things he has done in his life.
Doing acrobatics in the palace, riding horses on the sidewalk, and spoiling the concubines' house wine were all tricks for Xiao Baojuan. Xiao Bao's "fainting" was not only faint in the palace, but even outside the palace had become his playground. Xiao Baojuan often came out of the palace on horseback with a group of dog slaves, dressed in black and masked, and disguised as bandits to rob the house.
Today, we will list some of the absurd things that Xiao Baojuan has done to see if this "first emperor in history" is worthy of his name.
As the crown prince of the country, the prince either studied hard or tried to learn martial arts, and then he could not play like a naughty boy until he ascended the throne, and there were not many princes like Xiao Baojuan who did stupid things every day. One night, Prince Xiao found several rats jumping up and down in the palace, and thought that this small animal was quite interesting, so he organized people to catch rats every night. The eunuchs and palace ladies of the Eastern Palace were tossed into panda eyes by him, but the prince was not tired of it.
Later, Xiao Baojuan became obsessed with the game of "Bearing the Burden" and immersed himself in these tricks every day. At the beginning of the practice, Xiao Baohuan's craftsmanship was bad, and the "building" often came out of his hands and injured the palace people. Later, Xiao Baojuan's skills improved to a certain extent, and he was no longer satisfied with carrying the building with his arms, and began to try to carry the building with his mouth. To this end, Xiao Bao ordered the people to create a "White Tiger Building" that was several inches long and carried it with his mouth. Who knows, the teeth simply could not withstand the heavy building, and Xiao Baojuan's teeth were torn off several times.
After the death of Xiao Baojuan's father, Emperor Qi Ming, according to the court system, he should stop in the Taiji Hall for a period of time, during which time foreign envoys and Chinese wu came to mourn. Xiao Baojuan hated those ministers who were full of political affairs, and even more hated receiving foreign envoys, so he sent someone to quickly carry his father's coffin out of the palace for burial. The chancellor Xu Xiaosi stood up in time and knew the reason, which made the coffin of the former emperor stop for a few more days. In the past few days, hundreds of officials of the Wen and Wu Dynasties have come to the Lingtang to cry bitterly, and it is reasonable to say that as the son of Emperor Ming, Xiao Baojuan should also shed a few tears.
However, Xiao Baojuan said that his throat was sore and he never cried in front of his father's spirit. Once, a minister was so sad when he was crying that he didn't even notice that his hat had fallen to the ground. Xiao Bao rolled up to see the minister's head bare, and even laughed on the spot, saying to everyone present: "You see, this guy is like a crying vulture." Seeing that other people were riding majestic horses, Xiao Baojuan also wanted to try, but he was afraid of being injured by improper riding, so he asked people to build a simulated wooden horse. This horse is exquisitely crafted, exquisite, and able to move forward and backward like a real horse.
Relying on this fake horse, Xiao Baojuan had practiced riding skills, and he could even ride a real horse and run like a decent horse. After learning the art of riding, Xiao Baojuan stopped walking, and all the horses in the palace rushed to the road, galloping on the sidewalk, regardless of the safety of the palace people. In order to make his horseback ride more imposing, Xiao Baojuan also arranged for people to beat drums and play music along the road, so that the palace eunuchs would wave the flag to cheer. Xiao Baojuan only cared about fun every day, and rarely went to the government. The folds sent by the civil and military officials were often ignored for ten days and half a month, and finally discarded at will.
Sometimes, when the eunuchs in the palace stole meat and fish, they would even wrap the food with these discarded folds and carry the stolen goods out of the palace. Moreover, the emperor's tour was an extremely solemn thing, but the adjective "solemn" was not placed on Xiao Baojuan's body. Xiao Baojuan dressed up very strangely every day and took a group of retinues out of the palace to play. Xiao Bao had never had a destination when he left the palace, and where he wanted to go depended on his mood. In order to travel unimpeded, he would often order people to remove all the house trees that stood in the way beforehand to facilitate his own horse.
Sometimes, Xiao Baojuan would also pretend to be a robber, fight with a group of guards to rob the house, rob the property in the homes of ordinary people, and then go away. In addition, Xiao Baojuan also has a quirk, that is, he does not like to contact strangers. In order not to contact those strange people, Xiao Baojuan would order people to knock and beat every time he traveled to warn the people. Whether in towns or villages, even in the middle of the night, as long as Xiao Bao arrives, the streets and houses will be cleared, and those who dare to stay where they are will be killed.
One day, Xiao Baojuan grinned as usual and "broke through the empty door", and when he saw a woman with a straight stomach in the room, he asked the woman why she stayed in the house. The woman said she was pregnant for October and was unable to move. On a whim, Xiao Baojuan had to see if the child in the woman's belly was a boy or a girl, and asked the soldiers to set up the pregnant woman and abandon her abdomen to find out.
Once, Xiao Baojuan decided to go to a certain place to play, and the people heard that this Chaos Demon King had arrived, and immediately fled with his family and mouth. After Xiao Baojuan arrived at the destination, he found that a patient's foot was very slow and he could not run far, so he ordered someone to push him into the water, paste the patient's mouth and nose with mud, and choke him alive.
Another time, when Xiao Baojuan was playing at Dinglin Temple, he saw an old monk who could not escape because of a leg disease and hid in the grass on the side of the road. When Xiao Baojuan found the old monk, he immediately ordered his soldiers to arrest him, calling him an assassin, and asking the archers to shoot him. After shooting the old monk, Xiao Baojuan also personally went into battle and shot the old monk's body with a bow and arrow, which relieved his hatred.
When Xiao Baohuan travels, he often does not stay in a radius of tens of miles, so he rarely sees the daily life of ordinary people. Once Xiao Baojuan became deeply interested in the bazaar, but he did not want to go to the real bazaar to contact the people. Therefore, Xiao Baojuan arranged for eunuchs and palace ladies to purchase goods, act as small traders, and let his favorite concubine Pan Yu'er serve as the city order (the earliest market administrator), and he was willing to act as Pan Yu'er's "recorder". During the period of dressing up as "family wine", whenever any "peddler" made a mistake, Pan Yu'er gave them to the guards and asked the guards to rebuke the violators.
Pan Yu'er was so pampered and arrogant that even if Xiao Baojuan made a mistake, she had to order the soldiers to reprimand her. Of course, soldiers would often replace their staffs with straws to prevent the emperor from injuring them. Later, Xiao Baojuan planned to do business himself, so he ordered someone to build a huge water canal, worked as a porter for a few days, and personally pulled a boat. After pulling enough boats, Xiao Baojuan ran to the embankment to "return to the old business" and built a downtown here, in which he acted as a butcher and personally sold meat. At that time, folk songs satirized Xiao Baojuan: "Reading the Martial Hall, planting willows, the emperor sells meat, and Concubine Pan sells wine." ”
I have to mention that many friends blamed the fate of Xiao Baojuan on Pan's family, in fact, this is a typical "disaster water theory".
In fact, Xiao Baojuan's fate is self-inflicted, and he has little to do with beautiful women.
In the third year of Yongyuan, Xiao Yanxing rebelled. After Xiao Baojuan, as the emperor, heard about the rebellion, instead of worrying about it in the slightest, he felt that the city wall was impregnable, and even if the 100,000-strong army attacked, there was no need to worry, so he did not take Xiao Yan seriously at all, but only arranged for people to lock the city gate and still seek pleasure as usual. I don't know where this emperor's self-confidence came from, and the next day when he went to the court, he also boasted ambitiously to the courtiers: "As long as he Xiao Yan can come to the White Gate, I will definitely fight with him!" ”
Sure enough, Xiao Yan effortlessly hit Jiankang City. At this time, Xiao Baojuan still felt that he would "duel" with Xiao Yan with his martial arts, and put on heavy armor and ran to the castle tower, intending to command the defenders to fight a beautiful defensive battle. Seeing Xiao Bao's head rise, Xiao Yan immediately instructed the archers to fire arrows in unison, almost nailing Xiao Bao's scroll to the city tower. Looking at the rain of arrows like flying locusts, Xiao Baojuan was frightened and fled down the city tower. At this time, the minister Ru Fazhen asked Xiao Baojuan, saying that the enemy army was threatening, hoping that the saint would reward the soldiers and boost morale.
When Xiao Baojuan heard that he had to pay for it himself, he was greatly angry and said, "When the rebels came in, more than one person was killed, and their family was not going to be unlucky?" Why let me pay for it? ”
Hearing that there were hundreds of pieces of wood in the palace, the general applied to the emperor to use these materials to consolidate the defense of the city. Xiao Baojuan listened to it, and was a little displeased, saying: "These woods are used to build the palace, they are all the best materials, is it not in vain to repair the city defense?" Such absurd acts, Xiao Baojuan did a lot, so that the soldiers of Southern Qi no longer wanted to serve this stupid master. Instead of accompanying the emperor and being killed by the rebels, it is better to surrender Kaesong as soon as possible, and maybe you can still find a good future. In this way, the soldiers, led by the defender Wang Guozhen, collectively went out of the city to surrender to the enemy.
On the night that the soldiers guarding the city surrendered, Emperor Xiao was still playing in the deep palace. It is said that that that night, Xiao Baojuan held the pipe and played it, and also created a song "Daughter", and when he had enough trouble, he went back to the palace to sleep. Who knows, in the middle of the night, Xiao Baojuan was awakened by the shouting and killing outside the palace, and only then did he realize that the rebels had hit the gate. As a result, Xiao Baohuan hurriedly fled to the harem. At this moment, the eunuchs also knew that they were not safe, and it was better to exchange Xiao Baojuan's head for his life, so after Xiao Baojuan slipped into the harem, the eunuch immediately slashed it down with a knife and cut off his head to ask Xiao Yan for credit.
In the year he was killed by the eunuch, Xiao Baojuan was just nineteen years old, and his career as emperor was only three short years. It takes three years to do so many absurd things, such an emperor is unique.