I don't want to think back on a Sunday morning

On June 29, 2008, a Sunday morning after a sleepless night, in the hospital, I asked the doctor word for word, "Is he not going to work tomorrow?" The doctor said, "Yes." He certainly couldn't go to work again. From that day on, Qiuhua and the lives of healthy people were separated. And almost every ordinary Sunday morning before that, I didn't have to go to work, I didn't have to get up, I just held a book and curled up in the bed. Qiuhua smiled and walked toward me and asked, "What do you want to eat at noon, I'll make it for you." That's the best memory I've ever had.

Qiu Hua was a repairman for the bus company before he got sick, sitting every day on the yellow car that we can often see, driving fast on the road with the words "bus rescue" written on it. Where the buses break down, they show up there. So his job is to run around every day. When the disease struck with the overwhelming force of Tarzan, I was not mentally prepared at all. But when I was doing my rehabilitation in a nursing home, I saw what was the most terrible situation. Patients there are "clustered" and "grouped". Patients who can walk freely will wander around the free market; Qiuhua, accompanied by a nurse, can practice walking on four-clawed crutches; under the tree, there is a group, and the people in that group are going to spend the rest of their lives in wheelchairs. Of course, the worse is the person who can't get out at all, and can only lie in a hospital bed. Being with patients for a long time has enabled me to develop an ability to feel the pain of patients (if this is also called ability).

In the initial stage of the illness, as soon as he woke up from his dream every morning, he stared at the big eyes and said, "No one, no ghost, open your eyes, or the one who can't move." He often told me: "Dreaming at night, playing football, it is better to continue dreaming." Once I saw Qiuhua laughing in a dream, and when I woke up, I asked him, "What do you dream about?" He said, "It's going to go." In real life, he almost never laughs. Being able to walk is a common thing for ordinary people, but for him it is a dream, and it can only be realized in dreams. On several occasions, I saw him on crutches, go into the kitchen, hold the wok with the one he could move, and make countless skillful spoon-tossing motions when he was not sick. In his opinion, cooking for his family is the happiest thing. I often use this phrase to comfort me when I'm upset, when I'm trying to complain about something, or when he loses his temper with me. At the very least, I have a lot of abilities: I can walk, I can dance, I can speak, I can sing, and thankfully, there's so much more to it. My smile is not just in dreams. I think your smile is not just in your dreams.

Man has two lives, one in reality and one in dreams. What cannot be achieved in reality is completed by dreams. So we often put our dreams on our lips and let the dreams shine into reality. Proust said, "The real paradise is the paradise that people lose." "When you realize that it's paradise, paradise has been lost forever. Therefore, I cherish everyone around me; cherish every encounter; cherish every reunion. Every moment of warmth is a precious memory that cannot be copied at all, and will never come again. If the time could be turned back, I would like to go back to that ordinary Sunday morning, and Qiuhua smiled at me and said to me, "What do you want to eat at noon?" I'll do it for you. ”

How many days can be repeated? Even if it's just an ordinary Sunday morning....

October 13, 2015