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Life always seems to be lonely, and everyone must gradually learn to accept loneliness and loneliness.
But everyone is not willing to be lonely, and this psychology pushes us forward, and socialize with strangers, and establish new relationships after relationship. But not all people are suitable for socializing.
There are also two aspects of human nature, good and dark, no one can be called a really good person, even an object of praise, may have flashed a trace of evil thoughts in the heart, but the sense of morality of justice suppressed this evil thought.
Some people are very dark in their hearts, they only regard themselves as the center of the world, in order to pursue the desired benefits, they will even do some harmful things.
Associating with such people only makes us victims of their interests. People with dark psychology usually face these 3 kinds of words, and when they encounter, do not make deep friends with them.
First, inconsistent words
In other words, this kind of person is a very typical set of face-to-face sets behind one set. Psychologist Freud once proposed that everyone can be divided into three parts
The most primitive self
A self with principles and bottom lines
Morally restrain your own superego
Most people are able to unify these three parts, while those who are dark in heart often ignore the constraints of morality and law.
Therefore, when talking to them, we can often feel that their speech logic is not logical, and there will be some inconsistencies.
This is because they always want to defend themselves as much as possible and fight for more benefits for themselves, so that the causal relationship before and after things conflicts.
Their practice also reduces the trust others have in them, because we can't tell which of their words is true.
At the same time, people with dark hearts are also very good at hiding themselves, they know how to package themselves, win the love of those around them, and hide the most authentic side at the same time.
Sometimes the behavior they show is not what they really want to do, but only to cater to the evaluation standards that others get and force some of the changes they make.
This kind of person usually sets up a sunny and decent persona for himself to cover up his dark and dirty heart. I have to admit that they seem to have multiple personalities, making it impossible for us to see through their complex hearts.
At the same time, they have a high emotional intelligence and will behave very smoothly when dealing with human affection.
Second, very extreme words
No one is a perfect pretender, and even if these dark-hearted people know how to use human feelings to wrap themselves up, some of their true thoughts will be displayed in their daily words and deeds.
For example, we will feel that someone has dark eyes and seems to have many evil thoughts in their hearts.
Or when talking to them, think that many of the other person's ideas are too extreme. In fact, most people will stand in a neutral and objective perspective when looking at problems, because we will use sensibility to think about problems and analyze problems with reason.
People with dark hearts usually have some degree of cognitive defects, which leads them to have wrong judgments about things.
Therefore, when discussing certain issues with them, we often feel that their thinking is too extreme, even incomprehensible. Even if they encounter some seriously immoral problems, these people do not have the ability to empathize, and even think that all the faults are the fault of the victim.
At the same time, this kind of person also has a very serious tendency to destroy, always wanting to destroy something impatiently.
For example, when mentioning someone who has made a mistake, ordinary people usually want to punish the other party with some measures to make them realize their mistakes. People with dark hearts want to abuse each other in a painful way and completely destroy each other's lives.
Third, say something that implies to others and manipulates others
People with dark hearts are sleek and good at using others to do things for themselves, so they can also have a good insight into people's hearts and understand what others are most eager to get.
At this point they are like a manipulator with insight into everything, using the things you care about most as a chip to blackmail you into doing something good for him.
With this kind of person, they will not let you perceive the obvious difference, but will silently assimilate you, so that you unconsciously do something harmful to others and yourself.
Sometimes they will tease you in this way, such as pointing out your most urgent desires, even if this desire will ruin your life.
They will also encourage you to move toward desire, even if the process harms the interests of many innocent people. These dark-hearted people seem to be unable to see the peace of the world, and the more chaotic the world becomes, the more excited they are.
Living with these people for a long time, you may also be induced and instigated by their words, and gradually assimilated into the same people as them.
Perhaps those who are shady also feel lonely, desperate to find their own companions and make others as dirty as themselves.
Their seductive, suggestive words can often lead you astray. And when you really fall into a state of perdition, they will only look at you coldly and even laugh at your misfortune.
Perhaps there is some similarity between such people and antisocial personalities, whose happiness is often based on the misfortunes of others.
We can't ask for the luxury of changing the minds of these people, all we can do is to protect ourselves, stay away from such people as much as possible, and don't easily associate with them.
- The End -
Author | Tommy
The First Psychological Writing Group | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
参考资料：Vogel, D. L., & Wester, S. R. (2003). To seek help or not to seek help: The risks of self-disclosure. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 50(3), 351.
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