The nature of love

The nature of love

The essence of love is the noble feelings of the opposite sex that combine the social attributes of man with the natural attributes of man. If good feelings differ from love in that it lacks a social understanding of love, then friendship differs from love in that it lacks biological attraction between people. Love is usually made up of four elements:

One is sexual desire, which is the physiological basis and natural premise of love;

The second is emotion, which is the core of love, expressed as a strong feeling of the fusion of spirit and flesh;

The third is the ideal, which is the social basis of love and the rational guide of love;

The fourth is obligation, which is a social requirement of love, which is manifested as a conscious sense of moral responsibility.

The above four elements are interrelated and indispensable, otherwise it is a broken or distorted love.

In addition, love should have the characteristics of equality, specificity, dependence, autonomy and so on.

1. Equality

The high degree of unity of love as a person's physical and psychological needs is reflected in the mutual respect, mutual trust and mutual care between two people, which is an equal relationship, not a dependent and possessive relationship. This equal relationship is manifested in the fact that both men and women can pursue and admire each other, so that love can arise and develop. Some people will say that I don't care if you love me or not, I love you anyway. Such love violates the principle of equality. Both men and women must first respect each other's right to choose voluntarily, and it is not love for one person to force the other or to make it up. Everyone has the right to love and be loved, so stalking is not love. Moreover, unrequited love is not love. The reason is obvious, love is like multiplication, one person gives all, the other person does not pay at all, then the result is 1×0 = 0, if each person only pays 0.5, then the result is 0.5× 0.5 = 0.25. Therefore, love requires both parties to work together, and the more both parties pay, the more stable and beautiful love can be.

2. Specificity

A friend told me before that she had a female colleague who, although she was in a relationship with someone else, was still dating other suitors alone, and those who came did not refuse. This violates the second characteristic of love— specificity. Engels pointed out that love is exclusive by its very nature. Once love is born, it has this characteristic. The specificity and exclusivity of love show that love should be treated with a serious and prudent attitude. If a person falls in love with two or more people of the opposite sex at the same time, it cannot be healthy, true love.

3. Dependencies

Men and women who have been in love will realize that when in love, if the other half is not around, it always makes people feel missed or missing, which is the dependence of love. The two parties in love are emotionally attached to each other, support each other in action, and care for each other in life. Some people do not consider each other's feelings in love, only care about their own feelings, which also violates the interdependent nature of love and is a selfish love.

4. Autonomy

Some people think that falling in love must be approved by their parents, while some parents will say that my children must have my consent to fall in love. Although parents have relatively rich life experience and can give us some advice, the final decision of love is still in our own hands.