01
Refuse to "do nothing".
A host once discussed such a question with the audience in a program: in the face of "repeated teaching", parents who have to listen to health lectures and buy "health care products", what should their children do?
After a series of analyses, the host gave a reference opinion: If the children are busy with work and have no time to take care of their parents' living and emotional needs, they may wish to give their parents a little more pocket money, because some of them are paid to the scammers.
This view has received a lot of applause and praise, and it is affirmed from the perspective of "how children should be filial to their parents". But reflect on it, if you retire and your children are not around, will you also pass the time by participating in various sharing meetings and merchandising meetings specifically for the elderly?
In the final analysis, those elderly who are keen on "partying" are idle in life, and they have no emotional support, so they are eager to "hug the group for warmth" and are willing to be deceived.
For some people, after retirement, they no longer have to go to work, almost nothing to do, seemingly "leisurely" life, in fact, is boundless dazed and unprepared.
Therefore, after retirement, do not let yourself fall into the panic of "nothing to do", to learn something, to regain their interests and hobbies, so that life will become colorful.
02
Refuse to be "nosy".
Wilde once said: "The tragedy of the old man is not that a man is old, but that he is still young." ”
I understand that this kind of youth is not the undiminished mental and physical strength of the year, but the obsession in the heart, which has never been put down. I believe that relying on my own strength can still change some people and things around me to meet my strong "sense of control".
The consequences of this are often good intentions to do bad things, inviting people to dislike, ridicule and snub.
Therefore, retired elderly people should learn to "do more than one thing is better than less", and do not waste their spirit and strength to pay attention to others.
Don't take care of your children's affairs. Fei Xiaotong said: "In the eyes of parents, children are part of the self, and children are the opportunity for his ideal self to come again." Many people unconsciously become the "controller" of children, if they do not have time to accompany their children when they are young, then after retirement, it is likely that they will spare no effort to take their grandchildren, contribute money, and want to reduce the burden on their children.
It seems that this is the best choice. However, if the resulting contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and the contradiction between weng and son-in-law are a game that is not worth the loss.
Therefore, really smart people will still choose to let go, children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren, let them toss and turn. Taking care of yourself is the best help for your children and grandchildren.
Do not interfere with the affairs of relatives. Between relatives, no matter how good the relationship is, we cannot say nothing. Because "every family has a difficult scripture", no one can feel it personally unless they have experienced it personally. Even if it is a good intention, it is often biased, and the result is to add fuel to the fire.
Friends' business, don't stick a knife in both ribs. Without suffering, do not persuade others to be good. Don't use your own vision pattern to measure the choices and trade-offs of others, everyone has their own "cultivation field" and their own philosophy of life. You can't be dissatisfied because the roads are different and the choices are different, and you always want to "pull others over", and the result is that you can't end it.
After retirement, in the face of all kinds of things that come to the door, you can push and push, you can drag and delay, don't let yourself get involved in it again.
03
Refuse to "make another splash".
Lao Tzu once said: "The hero retires, and the way of heaven also retreats." ”
People's desires are endless, such as money, power, beauty, fame, etc., and learning to withdraw properly can make the rest of their lives unfettered and carefree.
The novel "Qingyi" tells the story of a "pillar" who becomes a "drama maniac". The heroine Xiao Yanqiu was flourishing twenty years ago, and played the success of "Chang'e". However, there are talented people in jiangshan generations, and the theater troupe has cultivated a new generation of "Chang'e", which is still a student taught by herself.
Xiao Yanqiu, who indulged in the glory of the past and could not extricate herself, twenty years later, still insisted on letting herself play "Chang'e" on stage, and arbitrarily refused to let students be the main actors. Unfortunately, this is just her wishful thinking.
Finally, a new generation of "Chang'e" took the stage, and Xiao Yanqiu played "Chang'e" on the main road in front of the theater.
When a retired person is unwilling to admit that his youth has passed away and is unwilling to give way to the "next generation", it is actually selfish at work, and the final result is to be swallowed up by desire.
A philosopher once said: "The elderly have so many flaws and stupidity, and they are so easy to be ridiculed." The best thing an old man can get is the kindness and love of his family, and dominance and reverence are no longer his weapons. ”
Therefore, retirement means that on the road to the pursuit of desire, you must press the "pause button", and finally, you must press the "delete button" a little bit of hard work, and make a "complete end" with the past, in order to return to the basic position of life and find new fun.
04
Conclusion:
There is an Arabic proverb that the lion laughs at the old wolf. This means that people should serve the old.
When a person retires, he must learn to turn around gracefully, withdraw gracefully, give the stage to young people, and give up opportunities to others. Will become a person that everyone respects and loves.
Author: Like the wind is light as a cloud.
Your happiness, my blessings.
Images are from the web.