On December 1, the postpartum depression unit of "Female Psychologist" was broadcast, which immediately attracted the attention of the whole network.
In the play, Zhan Lu, played by Zhang Yao, is a second-born mother, and in the three years after giving birth to her child, she was anxious and insomnia, often in tears, and wanted to kill her son when impulsive.
But in the eyes of her husband and mother-in-law, she is a mother: temperament, glass heart, work, nothing to find.
For a time, the hot search about #Female Psychologist Mom's Postpartum Depression Is Too Real# immediately spread all over the Internet.
Anxious, aggrieved, want to cry? Is postpartum depression really so real and heart-wrenching?
Psychologist Horton said:
There are 15 million new mothers in China every year, of which between 60% and 80% have different degrees of depression during or after childbirth, and nearly 100% will develop postpartum depression. In other words, there are more than ten million unhappy mothers in the country every year.
According to the survey:
1 in 10 women suffer from postpartum depression.
In addition, in recent years, there have been more and more tragic accidents caused by postpartum depression.
In November 2019, a 30-year-old mother of a second child in Kaifeng, Henan Province, jumped from the 29th floor with her newborn child to end her and her newborn's life.
This 30-year-old mother of two children, with both children and daughters, is happy and happy in the eyes of others. However, no one knows that she was tormented by postpartum depression and finally chose to end her life, and a home that should have been happy and perfect became a sigh in the mouth of others.
In April 2020, a 37-year-old returnee doctor in Furong District, Changsha City, Hunan Province, jumped down the stairs with her second five-month-old daughter and both died.
I thought that women with high education had less chances of postpartum depression than ordinary people, but they did not expect that on the road of postpartum depression, all women are equal.
In January 2021, Hong Kong businesswoman Luo Lili fell from the building with her 5-month-old daughter in her arms, because the floor was higher, and the mother and daughter fell to the flesh and blood.
According to the survey, Luo Lili's life is very rich, his mother is a well-known real estate chairman, he began to start a business at the age of 28, usually on the social platform she presents to everyone is also a positive sunny side, who will not think that life is so superior, she will suffer from postpartum depression, and eventually go to light life.
In addition to ordinary people, stars living in the entertainment industry will also have postpartum depression.
In the program "Mother-in-law and Mother", Yangzi talked about the state of his wife Huang Shengyi after giving birth to a child: there was a long period of depression and insomnia, and he couldn't sleep all night.
He Jie, a post-85 singer, also said in the show: After giving birth, she felt that she was a completely useless person, a person who was abandoned, because she felt that she was old and ugly.
Xi Mengyao, a supermodel who married into a rich family, also posted a long article after giving birth to a child: I hope that when new mothers feel unhappy and sad, they should immediately inform their lovers, family and friends, and believe that they are not wrong. I also hope that new fathers will not think that their wives are pretentious, and understand the dangers of their wives' postpartum depression.
Postpartum depression is such a real existence, it has nothing to do with wealth and poverty, nor does it have anything to do with the depth of knowledge, it is like an invisible hand, dragging every lost mother ruthlessly into the abyss.
Medical studies have shown that when a woman is pregnant, due to the increase in estrogen in the body, it will make women easily excited. After childbirth, the relevant hormones will gradually become less, which makes the woman's state slowly shift from excitement to melancholy.
In the process of childbirth, the pain and pressure borne by women is also very great, on the one hand, the fear of childbirth, on the other hand, the pain of tearing wounds during childbirth. This pain and stress also increases the likelihood that women will suffer from depression after childbirth.
In addition, as a group of women, they are generally more emotional and love to think more. Therefore, throughout the pregnancy, they are either worried about their body shape, or worried that their husbands will cheat, and even will be unable to work, so as to worry about the future. This psychological change before and after pregnancy will naturally cause emotional changes, and over time, it will push women to the brink of depression.
In the postpartum period, all women face a role reversal: both the joy of being a new mother and the anxiety of a new mother, but the joy is often crushed by anxiety. Because of the new mother, always want to give the best to the child, worried about the child's diet and living, not to mention, in the work will become inadequate. These anxieties can also lead to the occurrence of postpartum depression.
In addition to the physical and psychological factors of the pregnant woman, family factors are also an important cause of maternal postpartum depression.
There is a saying that goes like this:
Depressed people are often named, misinterpreted, and isolated in a well-meaning but wrong way—and even pushed to the worst end.
In "Female Psychologist", Zhan Lu, played by Zhang Yao, once told her husband and mother-in-law about her symptoms of depression, but in the eyes of her husband and mother-in-law, it was her temperament.
Not being understood directly led to the aggravation of her depressive symptoms, perhaps at the beginning, she was just a little depressed, and after facing the incomprehension of her husband and mother-in-law, she gradually transformed this emotion into depression.
This lack of understanding is not only manifested in the incomprehension of Zhan Lu's depressed mood, but also in various behaviors:
After Zhan Lu's caesarean section, there was a long scar on her stomach, and the flesh on her stomach was also loose and drooping on her waist. For such a Zhan Lu, her husband is very disgusted.
Zhan Lu's mother-in-law favors sons over daughters, treats Zhan Lu's eldest daughter and second son differently, and in the treatment of the education of the eldest daughter, the mother-in-law also exceeds her authority to control too much.
In life, the mother-in-law will not care about Zhan Lu's feelings, and when Zhan Lu is rolling up her clothes to feed, she suddenly rushes to her with a group of people, just to snatch the son in her hand to show off to others.
Zhan Lu feels like a nanny in this family, the mother-in-law can't see her idle, so she contracted the housework; the husband only urged to eat three meals a day, and the children would not help bring it; the eldest daughter was all her to pick up and drop off from school.
Not understood, without self-worth, all that remains is the denial of oneself, how can such a person not be depressed?
Zhan Lu asked Horton: Can you help me? Will they change?
Horton: I can't help you, they won't change, the only thing that can help you is yourself.
There is a saying on the Internet that has always been very popular:
In this world, no one can really empathize with the pain of another person, you have a thousand arrows through the heart, you do not want to die, it is only your own business, others may sympathize, may sigh, but it will never be clear to what kind of ulcer your wound is festering.
The writer Su Gengsheng once said: "What a person wants to express is never what he says, but the mood of longing to be understood." ”
Since there is no empathy in this world, then why do we long to be understood, and the best way for a person to recover from his wounds is to lick his wounds and heal himself.
If you are worried about body deformation, go to exercise, go to practice yoga, even if the body can not return to the state before production, at least it will not let the worry become anxiety, and then affect sleep.
If you feel aggrieved, be sure to speak out. Grievances that are not spoken are like secrets rotting in the stomach, and you don't say that no one knows. I really don't want to say it, so let's release, sing, go to books, do what I like, and slowly let the good mood digest the grievances.
If you want to cry, cry a lot, in front of others, hide in the corner or in the bed, and cry bitterly. There is no shame in crying, and it is only a shame not to dare to cry.
Must have their own value, full-time mother to be based on family conditions and family members' attitudes, if family conditions allow, family members respect the full-time mother's profession, then you are willing, you can rest assured to be a full-time mother.
Otherwise, go to work, to realize their own value, children and families and family members to share with each other, do not need to be all on the shoulders of one person is not flattering.
People always have to swallow some grievances, and then dry their tears without saying a word and continue to move forward.
When the cold wind stops, when the rain becomes sunny, we will eventually grow stronger alone.
The rest of life is still very long, postpartum depression is really not worth our exhaustion or even life to go to this twist, so, when not understood, not cared for, we learn to be our own little sun, warm ourselves, heal ourselves.
After all, for a child, a healthy and happy mother is much cuter than an anxious and melancholy mother, and for a family, a positive hostess is also much more charming than a moaning and sighing woman.
So let us be the light in the cracks of our own lives, warming ourselves and others.
Anything that is humane, I feel kind Pay attention to me, take you to understand human nature from film and television ~ ~~