Korean drama "Daughter". Originally thought to be a warm family ethics film, gaze at the mother's meticulous love for her young daughter in the name of love (in fact, it is a heartbreaking abuse), it is shocking to see. In this family tragedy, the mother's 360-degree control of the child and the distorted and deformed deformed love deserve all parents who think they love their children wholeheartedly and deeply reflect on it.
At the beginning of the film, the mother meticulously does housework, carefully knitting scarves for the child, accompanied by a moving monologue, makes people feel that the little girl Sugi seems to be lucky. Her mother took her to and from school on time every day, cooking, washing, knitting sweaters, and taking care of her wholeheartedly. Afraid of her cold, afraid of her hunger, afraid of her falling, afraid of her becoming bad, praying to the Bible and the Virgin Mary every day, hoping that even if her daughter did something wrong, God would forgive her. At first glance, what a pious and lamentable motherly love.
However, then, as the curtain of the girl Sugi's memory slowly opened, the audience saw an extremely shocking mother, a heart-wrenching child. It turned out that behind the excessive attention and excessive worry about the child, there was a deformed love of a mother, and the violence of language and flesh gradually abused the flesh and blood affection between mother and daughter. This flawed mother, who was not happy with her marriage, put all her energy and all her hopes in life on her daughter. Defects in the mother's personality are manifested as follows:
Obsessive-compulsive thinking and compulsive behavior. Cleanliness, perfectionist tendencies. Specifically, it is manifested in: not only is the home cleaned up spotlessly, the bottles and cans in the cabinet are even placed in the direction of the handle, and the eggs in the refrigerator are neatly arranged head-down, not messy. Insecure inside, worried about the safety of their daughters, the daily prayer is actually pursuing a sense of ritual in order to achieve inner relief. There is a cleanliness habit that thinks that the food and air outside are not clean. The first thing the daughter and husband did when they got home was to take off all their clothes and wash them clean before they were allowed to eat. The daughter was even scrubbed until her skin was broken and bleeding, and the mother gave up.
Paranoid and controlling. Mother was accustomed to understanding everything, doubting everything, controlling everything, and deciding everything with her personal paranoid mind. The daughter could not play outside with her classmates and was not allowed to eat outside. The way of eating, the size of the dress, and the posture of taking pictures must be completed according to the requirements of the mother, slightly violating, and scolding.
Vanity, ignorance to the point of absurdity. I hope that my daughter will have good grades like Xueba's classmates and her family is not rich, but she is willing to buy the exercise set of Xueba's classmates at a high price. The most absurd thing is to buy the underwear and underwear of the bully girl for her daughter to wear during the exam, in the hope that the daughter will get good results in the exam.
Low tolerance, irritability, violent tendencies. The daughter did a wrong question, and according to the regulations, the palm of her hand was beaten five times. Occasionally, without eating, with a little justification, he provoked his mother to speak ill of him and broke the dishes. The daughter was beaten several times, once when she ate a meal cooked by the mother of another child outside, and once when she was outside eating marshmallows and being beaten. The other time was when I forgot to eat with my left hand while eating. In the most serious case, the school bag bought by the daughter at work was taken for granted by the mother as the proceeds of the sale, and she insulted and beat her daughter to the extreme, and even injured her daughter's cheek.
With such a prison head-like closely monitored mother, the daughter's life can be imagined how miserable it should be. The daughter said that she lived like a dog under the obscenity of her mother. Big summer wears long sleeves and does not dare to show his scarred arms. Going out on a sunny day in the morning, not only to bring an umbrella, but also forced to put on a shoe cover, even the school bag is wrapped in plastic, the child is heavily wrapped, like a mummy, has mobility problems, falters, is pitiful by neighbors, ridiculed by classmates, and the child gradually alienates from everyone's interaction. Plastic people live like people, have no self, are careful, and move to blame. My daughter often wakes up at night from nightmares, dreaming of a dark shadow lying outside the window knocking on the glass for help. By the way, the shadow outside the window seen by the girl in her dream is actually the inner child in the girl's subconscious, who is not willing to be controlled and abused, and has been asking for help from herself.
The girl's body is scarred every day, like a controlled marionette. Fortunately, children are stubborn and courageous by nature, smart and assertive in times of things, and the self is only suppressed, and the hope of life is not completely extinguished. The girl's inner sense of resistance, coupled with the help of the kind neighbor piano teacher, let the child's tragic childhood harvest a little warmth, but also make her able to survive under the pressure of her mother's airtight pressure. She dared to make her own claims, worked to earn money to buy the school bag she wanted, and even bravely carried this school bag to date the boy who liked herself. Although the date came back to be abused by the mother, beaten and injured. But it can be seen that this child will not resign himself to fate and tie his hands. Otherwise, it is almost predictable that a dark, repressive, violent environment will breed gloomy souls and unhappy futures.
When she grew up, her daughter broke off contact with her family, fell in love, and became pregnant. At this time, the mother was in the advanced stage of cancer, the girl went to the hospital to visit the mother, even in the hospital bed, the mother did not intend to give up control of the daughter. She struggled to get out of bed and put the meal in front of her daughter's knee. At this time, the girl's long-suppressed anger towards her mother reached its peak, eventually leading to a blowout. But the daughter's loud accusations did not exchange for the apologies of the dying mother, who did not give the daughter the answer she wanted until her death. This control in the name of love eventually snuffed out the most sacred affection between mother and daughter.
The pregnant girl returns home as a child. Thinking of my deceased mother, I have mixed feelings and mixed tastes. In my heart, there is a residual resentment against my mother, and there is also a little relief. Accidentally met a neighbor's childhood piano teacher. The teacher told her that there was no right or wrong in parents, just because they were parents. This reminds me of a saying that my mother used to say when I was a child, that there are no parents in the world. Right and wrong let it be in the heart, and understand it for yourself. The daughter finally forgave her mother, let go of the obsession in her heart, reached an inner reconciliation, prepared for pregnancy with peace of mind, and worked hard to be a mother.
The beginning and end of the film echo back and forth, as if to express a new interpretation and interpretation of maternal love. Although such an ending is satisfactory, the interpretation of human nature is not profound enough, and even seems to be quite a failure as far as a film is concerned. This is probably the reason why its Douban score is only 6.3 points. At least I think that every time a mother ignores her daughter's crying and begs for forgiveness, viciously insults her daughter, and frantically beats her young daughter, it has been deeply imprinted in the hearts of every audience. For girls, how can the unbearable harm of this life be easily resolved by the death of her mother? Unless you encounter external help, you also have a better ability to heal. Therefore, the handling of the ending of the film is actually not very convincing. We see more of the reality that how many children who have been injured by their original families have grown up to be hated by themselves, repeating the parents' pattern and treating their children.
There are two details in the film that impressed me particularly. First, in the school bag incident, the girl escaped from the knife of the crazy mother, came to the door of the neighbor piano teacher for help, knocked on the door without success, but saw outside the window that the teacher's elderly father had also found her and was beating her up at home. The gentle teacher who once rescued himself, it turned out to be a victim of his father's domestic violence, the scene in front of him almost disappointed the last hope in the child's heart, and the warm friend and neighbor who had always thought it could only be regarded as a life-saving straw, and at the critical moment, the teacher was also difficult to protect himself. In that instant, the child slumped to the ground in despair. Second, when the girl learned that she was pregnant, she almost nervously smiled and said to her boyfriend, I didn't know I could still be a mother. This sentence makes me have a bad premonition. Can a girl be a good mother? Judging from the development of the film's story, the answer is actually not optimistic.
Combining the above two details, I think that if the film is made into a horror film, it is more natural, at least it should be a suspense film to be more in line with the reality of human nature. The film is better made this way: the front is unchanged, slightly changed from the girl's mother after her death. The girl returns to her childhood home and sees a crying girl with a school bag rushing out of the neighbor's piano teacher's house, and trances like her childhood self. It turned out that the teacher moved back home after the death of his father and took his daughter to live here. Unable to overcome the hurt of being abused by her father since childhood, she could not restrain her daughter from adopting the father's pattern of treating her.
The film should leave such suspense at the end: the girl Sugi, full of hesitation, gave birth to her own child, but the problems left over from her childhood were not solved, and after giving birth to the child, she suffered from postpartum depression and was not taken care of by anyone around. In the child's sick crying, the girl became more and more emotionally unstable, and finally collapsed and cried, holding the swaddling child, the eyes were empty, and the expression was numb to the overpass that she had to pass through when she was a child...
The whole play ends.
However, is this ending too dark and too gloomy? Perhaps the director is not unexpected, but does not want life to be too desperate, so he finally chose to let go of his demons and let the heroine forgive and understand her mother after the fact.
A mother full of control