There are elderly people in the family, you will find that they are often very nagging, as long as someone is around, they will find a way to find a topic, hoping that the family will accompany them to say a few words.
Human beings are social animals, like to be lively, afraid of loneliness, especially the elderly who are old, more eager to have someone to accompany, even if they can't say a few words, as long as he is not alone in this environment, he can soothe his emotions.
Zang Hongfei said in "Strange Story": "We need marriage, we hope that there is someone who can accompany us to fight against the world." ”
Finding a partner, passing the time together, coping with the difficulty of living alone after aging with physical function, and becoming each other's spiritual comfort are the purposes of many single elderly people who choose to remarry. At this time, twilight love is often not based on love, but interests, I have something for you, you have something for me.
Remarriage of the elderly is no longer a new thing, and like the marriage of young people, there are both successful cases and failure cases.
Uncle Cao is 75 years old this year, and he has spent 7 years with his remarried wife, and the two people have a harmonious relationship and get along very well. Uncle Cao told me with his own experience that people over 50, the old man who loves happiness at dusk understands the 4 principles, but unfortunately, many people do not understand one, so that the marriage of the elderly quickly disintegrates.
"Many old people have a bad remarriage because they used the wrong mind at the beginning, some people are looking for a free nanny to serve themselves, such as my hometown, some people are looking for wives for their children and grandchildren, bringing him a baby, taking care of their daughter-in-law's confinement, and some people are trying to make money." Didn't I say these people, when everyone else is two hundred and five? Let you calculate? With you, not only did not reduce the pressure, but also caused a commotion, who is happy? ”
When Uncle Cao was looking for his wife, he insisted on a principle: "Looking for a wife is to live a life, neither pit people nor be pitted." I don't need a free babysitter, I do housework, and I don't want to be wronged and calculated. ”
In the old age, remarriage is for pleasure, to play the effect of 1+1>2, not to add to their own blockage.
When looking for a wife, remember that you must not have a harmful heart, don't think that others are stupid, will let you calculate. Even if you calculate successfully and let the other party follow you, the other party will be unhappy in the future days, and find that the days are not what you want, you can still leave you.
Also, the heart of defense is indispensable, and don't be stupid enough to be calculated. You are obviously going for happiness, why should you find an ancestor to serve yourself?
Speaking of his fellow who wanted to find a free nanny from the beginning, Uncle Cao was full of contempt for him.
Although Uncle Cao, a fellow countryman, got his wish and found a wife, but he carved selfishness into the bone marrow, not only wanted his wife to serve himself, take care of housework, but also wanted his wife not to spend a dime, put forward the so-called AA system, how can the other party agree? The two people were together for less than 2 months, they fell out, things were boiling over, and Uncle Cao's hometown was also pulled into the blacklist of local elderly blind dates.
"My wife and I work, picking up the work that I can do, I can't cook, but I can wash the dishes!" I can't sew quilts, but I mop the floor! Two people working together, it didn't take long to finish, and you can chat while doing it. As for money, we all put our pensions together. ”
People are looking for profit and want to gain more benefits for themselves, but if you always harm others and benefit yourself, you will be counterattacked by the other side.
Writer Yan Geling said: "Marriage is a strict discipline, two people in it must abide by discipline, and no one can violate the bottom line and principles of marriage." Once violated, your marriage is likely to come to an end. ”
Not infringing on the interests of the other party and considering the interests of the collective is also the bottom line and principle of marriage. Once you violate this principle, let the other party always suffer losses, and the other party does not need to continue to live with you.
"Dad, my daughter-in-law is going to confinement, and you let Aunt Chen serve her."
"She's my wife, not your free babysitter, and she's not your mom, so she doesn't have that obligation." Well, I pay for it, and you give your wife a monthly sister-in-law. ”
Uncle Cao's two sons are people without a sense of boundaries, and they are also more selfish, usually ignoring Aunt Chen's love and answers, and when there is something going on, they call a "aunt" affectionately, asking Aunt Chen to serve the confinement again and take care of the children. Every time they went back to their hometown, they always looked like uncles and always wanted to summon Aunt Chen.
Uncle Cao is never accustomed to his children, as long as they ask for a couple of old wives, they immediately stand up to defend their wives and reprimand their children. Under the strong maintenance of Uncle Cao, the children's attitude towards Aunt Chen was obviously much more polite.
"She has not given birth to my sons, if I leave, can the sons give her a pension?" Since you won't take care of her, why should she take care of you? ”
No matter how old you are and how many times you've been married, marriage has a requirement of maintaining your spouse in front of your own loved ones. In-laws find trouble with daughters-in-law, men have to maintain their wives, children and grandchildren find trouble with their wives, and you also have to maintain their wives.
Whose relatives, who go head-to-head, rather than pulling a side frame, nor pretending to be deaf and dumb, leaving their spouses alone.
Before remarriage, Uncle Cao liked to play cards, and after remarriage, he quit this habit. Now, his favorite thing is to play Go, just because his wife likes it.
"Companionship is the longest confession of affection, isn't it just to have someone to talk about?" If you don't see anyone all day long, what are you looking for? ”
When Uncle Cao was sick, his wife Aunt Chen stayed at the bedside and accompanied Uncle Cao.
Regarding companionship, the Reader says this: Companionship is warm, and it means that in this world, someone is willing to give you the most beautiful thing, that is, time.
In the old age, people spend more time with their spouses and care more about her. At this age, it is not your children who are by your side, but your spouse. It is very important to have a confidant around you, and this confidant needs your cherishing.
Whether it is the marriage of young people or the marriage of the elderly, they need to cherish, they need to have their own sense of responsibility, and they need to treat it with heart. Instead of asking others to repay with virtue and forgive you for hurting them, you should ask yourself to fulfill your responsibilities from the beginning and be a qualified partner.
END.
Today's topic: How do you think the elderly should manage their married life better? Feel free to share your views in the comments section.