2019 3.25 I was pregnant with the second child, suddenly one day bleeding, I quickly ran to the hospital for examination, since then began my long insomnia road, the test result was "fetal stop" Originally I had never heard of the word, I walked back to my hometown hospitalization, the doctor determined that there was no heartbeat to prescribe medicine for me, at that time I was living in the delivery room, the ward was the joy of giving birth to the child, only I was a fetus, plus the ward was noisy, and the few days of staying began insomnia, Later in the baby tree to check the information, I heard that the flow of medicine is not clean to clear the palace, the damage to the body is particularly large, I chose to take medicine after the review, that is, the mountain in the heart of the pressure I am more anxious, afraid of the flow is not clean and eat so many medicines finally or to clear the palace, so anxious for a long time to review, the result is that there is no residue, do not need to clear the palace, at that time thought that this matter finally drew a close.
In fact, at that time, insomnia was not serious, and it was okay to adjust in time.
2019.5.1 I am ready to go back to work, rest for a long time, back to Nanchang that time insomnia has been good, there was a colleague dinner, that time is the time when the crayfish listed, I ate a large basin, to the evening may be very hot liver fire, can not sleep, because the next day to work, it is particularly anxious, turning over and over can not sleep, but still insist on going to work, sitting in the office without any energy, colleagues said that my face is particularly poor, miserable white, miserable, At this time, my boss said that he had a friend who couldn't sleep all night, and was diagnosed with yi depression later.
Hearing him say this, my heart is like a grasshopper on a hot pot, and I don't start to worry at night when I go to bed, and I look at the time from time to time at night. In the past, I was watching TV until about 10.30 and then turned off the phone to sleep, especially regular, a sleep until dawn, because I have hepatitis B, can not stay up late, suddenly insomnia again, let me not accept, afraid that the body will collapse, due to excessive attention to sleep, I even like to watch TV does not like to watch, so it lasted for a few days, really can not bear to take leave with the boss, rest for several days is not good, and then resigned, so I began to fight with insomnia.
Husband saw my state is also particularly anxious, he put down the work at hand, at that time was particularly difficult economic time borrowed his cousin 4,000 yuan, said to take me out to scatter the heart tourism may be good, because my nerves are too tight, no heart to experience the joy of tourism, we went to Wuhan, saw my favorite Zhou black duck is not in the mood to eat, during the day I have been walking, is hoping to be able to fall asleep at night, the result of walking a day lying in bed or sleepless, at that time I remember I cried, I suspected that I was really depressed, and I was super scared, but I didn't dare to go to the hospital for a check-up.
Out of the door, did not alleviate my fear of insomnia, back to Nanchang, I still open my eyes every day until dawn, the feeling of wanting to hit the wall, really think of it is like using a knife layer by layer to prick my flesh, mental pain is far more than physical pain, I insomnia, I lost my job, I have no money, there is no light in my eyes.
I decided to go back to the countryside that is my mother's house, that I grew up in the place, I want to heal myself, my mother heard that my insomnia is so serious, she is also particularly anxious, and also took me to see the most famous old Chinese medicine doctor in our township, the doctor said that I am a plant nerve disorder, opened a week of Chinese medicine, my mother will give me stew Chinese medicine every day, at that time I can only lie still every day, I feel that I have not slept all night, the vicious circle is not getting up early, lying until more than 10 o'clock every day, the more insomnia can not get up, the more insomnia can not get up, the more insomnia. God knows how I got through that time.
After eating about half a month of Chinese medicine I went back to Nanchang, at that time to move the newly rented house, may be a little tired during the day, or the reason for eating Chinese medicine for a while, I actually fell asleep for a night, I was ecstatic, and then fell asleep for several nights in a row I thought I recovered, planning to live a good life again, the fact is that I was happy too early.
In July 2019, I returned to Ganzhou's in-laws' house, suddenly there were several acne on my face, I don't know if it was a bad skin care product or water and soil, I didn't care too much at first, the back grew more and more, my face was buttoned up, I haven't had acne since I was a child, which made me think that it may be insomnia caused by too long. I started to pay attention to sleep problems again. And this time the attention is out of control. It plunged me into a deep despair.
I get up every day to look in the mirror, look at the mirror in a face of acne, are dark circles of their own, anxious and helpless, I am afraid of insomnia, because insomnia my state is too poor, I do not know how to change, more than 20 years have never encountered such a big difficulty in life. I still chose to prescribe Chinese medicine to eat, in November 2019 I prescribed half a month of Chinese medicine, ate the third day, I still can't sleep, I stopped taking medicine, acne is getting more and more serious, at the beginning is the face, the back has grown to the neck above, I know that my toxin is getting deeper and deeper, but I can't sleep, this toxin can't be discharged, what can I do, at that time my body was really too bad, my teeth were bleeding from time to time, checking hormones said endocrine disorders.
So I stayed up and carried to the New Year of 2020, I clearly remember the New Year's day, I was pretending to be happy, because the state was too bad, just the epidemic could not go out, I began to practice the Heart Sutra, want to let my heart calm down, but the continuous insomnia has made my spirit collapse, I cried to my husband said that my life was ruined, I plan to go to the hospital to prescribe sleeping pills to eat, I am not going to carry, my husband was particularly anxious, he said he accompanied me to face, Wake up early every morning, whether you are asleep or not at night, get up early to exercise.
During the time when the epidemic was at home, I insisted on getting up early every day to jump rope, exercise could really temporarily rescue me, the state was better, the day collapsed less, and the embroidery began to distract me at night, so it was better for a while.
2020 • April I went back to Nanchang to work, a to Nanchang may not be adaptable, and began to insomnia, early exercise can not improve, 4 a.m. sent a circle of friends, I really collapsed, in order to heal myself I insist on exercise and reading, once in the office brush vibrato, accidentally brushed to Hong Wei teacher about sleep knowledge, watch his video every day, not so afraid of sleep, but rely on their own strength or not, so in September I began to spend money to ask him for guidance, but afraid of being deceived, I regretted that he had refunded the money to me. It is enough to see that Teacher Hong Wei is a reliable person, because he has experienced it, so he can resonate. But I still want to adjust on my own.
In March 2021, when I was most miserable, I couldn't bear the insomnia all night, I felt that everyone on the road was happier than me, because they had light in their eyes, and the eyes of insomniacs were sluggish. I still decided to pay for Hong Wei teacher to enlighten me, he gave me an analysis of the causes of my insomnia and solutions, every time I have a heart breakdown will send him WeChat, he is particularly patient to comfort me, he said that insomnia is the opportunity for God to let you change, your cognition has a problem, 90% of insomnia is a psychological cause, you want a normal life, only by living a good day you can live a good night, you have to believe that you can get better.
Later, I rarely asked him again, because I knew that the correct cognition was transmitted to you, and then I relied on my own behavior to change it, so I insisted on exercising, listening to books, and living a normal life every day.
2021.9 month insomnia good my acne all disappeared, although there are still some sequelae of insomnia, give the body some time, I believe that slowly can recover.
Now I am particularly grateful, grateful for not losing sleep every day, cherishing the present.
Finally, be sure to believe that insomnia will get better, because that's our instinct.
Hong Wei: Above, it is very happy to see a person who is in pain to come out, this is what I am most happy to see in the insomnia column, I hope to give you insomnia and anxiety friends a little confidence and inspiration.
We are welcome to discuss the topic of insomnia with you.