Preface
Before a man and a woman can establish a relationship, there is a very delicate stage, that is, the ambiguous relationship stage. At this stage, the girl does not say that she has a relationship with you, but her heart has slowly accepted your existence.
In ambiguous relationships, some men pursue girls, they will be eager to succeed, very anxious, when he perceives that the girl is ready to accept him, he will prematurely assume the role of boyfriend, before the relationship is determined, he will point out the girl's life, as if the man himself has become the girl's boyfriend.
Doing so, from a man's point of view, is a kind of care and affection, but it makes the girl resentful and bored, and as a result, the man personally ruins all his previous efforts.
Therefore, when a man pursues a girl, in the absence of money to determine the relationship with the girl, it is absolutely impossible to assume the role of the boyfriend prematurely, and must learn to calm down.
The misconception of pursuing girls – men take on the role of boyfriend too early
Girlfriend Su Su is a white-collar worker of the company and belongs to a professional strong woman. The other day, at a gathering of friends, she appeared at a friend's cocktail party in a blue top and jeans, dressed casually.
Introduced by a friend, I met Xiao Jiu. The two spent some time together, Xiao Jiu frantically pursued Su Su, and Su Su also began to have some good feelings for Xiao Jiu. Just when the two people were in the ambiguous stage, Su Su suddenly blacked out Xiao Jiu.
In fact, the reasons are not complicated. Once, Su Su went out with friends at night, came home very late, and when she woke up the next day, she found that Xiaojiu had sent her a message for the night and made a lot of phone calls.
Su Su explained to Xiao Jiu, who was very angry, accused Su Su of not answering the phone, and interrogated her who she was with yesterday and who they were. As a result, Su Su couldn't resist the temperament and directly shook back:
Who are you? Point fingers at me!
Xiao Jiu was speechless, after all, the two people had not yet established a relationship, and later, they broke up unhappily.
In fact, when many men pursue girls, there will be a misunderstanding, when they see that they are about to successfully determine a relationship with a girl, they are eager to replace themselves into the role of boyfriend prematurely. As a result, all kinds of discipline and all kinds of pointing and pointing at girls. He did not want to cause the girl to resent and ruin the beautiful marriage.
Men's premature substitution of boyfriend roles is "unjustified"
Traditional Chinese culture advocates: justify the name!
What is exquisite is that when a person speaks and does things, he must first have a certain reputation before he can speak and count, so that he will not be criticized and accused.
In fact, in love, some men prematurely substitute for the role of boyfriend, discipline girls, and even point out, from the man's point of view, is to express the care and maintenance of girls, but, because the man himself is not the girl's boyfriend, you have not yet determined the relationship, then, in the name, some words can not be said.
From the girl's point of view, only if the other party is her boyfriend, she has the right to discipline herself, and those other men pointing and pointing are beyond the boundary. Therefore, when a man assumes the role of a boyfriend too early, it is easy to annoy the girl.
The man's premature substitution of the boyfriend role breaks the freshness of the girl's ambiguity
In fact, before the relationship is determined, the ambiguity between the girl and the man will bring the girl a fresh and exciting feeling, in this case, the girl will often enjoy it.
However, when a man disciplines the girl too much and takes the role of boyfriend too early, it breaks this fresh feeling of the girl and breaks the balance of the relationship between you.
What is more serious is that in the matter of determining the relationship, girls prefer to take the initiative. She doesn't want men to cross the line to decide this.
And men prematurely substitute for the role of boyfriend, in fact, is to impose this relationship on the girl, will make the girl passively accept the man, naturally, the girl will have resistance and resistance, it is easy to let the relationship between you go downhill.
Before establishing a relationship with a girl, the man should hold his breath and grasp 3 skills
The one who walks a hundred miles is half ninety!
In the love run, many men are almost a foot in the door, did not determine the relationship with the girl, at this time, men must be calm, do not prematurely substitute for the role of boyfriend, here, must master 3 skills:
1, let the girl grasp the initiative to determine the relationship.
When men and girls have feelings of love with each other, but when the relationship has not yet been determined, the man must maintain the state of pursuing the girl, and let the girl grasp the initiative to determine the relationship.
Exactly when you will determine the relationship between you, it should be up to the girl to decide. At this time, the safest way for men is to maintain their posture of pursuing girls, neither radical nor negative.
2, do not interfere in the girl's social freedom.
When a man is in an ambiguous phase with a girl, the girl may be ready to establish a relationship with you, but she is still examining you.
Before establishing a relationship, the girl will play with her friends without your consent, and at this time, do not interfere with the girl's social freedom and do not discipline too much. If you manage too much, it will make the girl feel that after the relationship is confirmed, you will increase her personal freedom, and the girl will have a great dislike for the fact that you have determined the relationship.
3. Don't cross-examine too much.
Interrogate the girl like a hukou checker: What kind of people are the friends around you? What kind of relationship did the man who spoke to him today have with him?
This kind of cross-examination will make the girl feel very irritable, and at the same time, it will increase the distrust between you. If this feeling continues to grow in the girl's head, it will affect your relationship.
Really smart men don't interrogate girls too much, they tend to focus on girls, and if a girl gets enough love and warmth from a man, she won't choose to betray.
epilogue
Pursuing girls, men do not replace the role of boyfriend too early, it is easy to make girls bored, at the same time, it will also make girls feel that men lack a sense of boundaries in love. When you are in the ambiguous stage with the girl, before determining the relationship, the man must calm down, at the very least, to grasp 3 skills:
One is to give the girl the initiative to determine the relationship; the second is not to interfere in the girl's social freedom; the third is not to interrogate the girl too much.