A monologue in the depths of the soul
——— folded my wings, and I still flew
Wang Lili
Caption
"The most precious thing about man is life. Life is only once for man. Man's life should therefore be lived in such a way that when a man looks back on the past, he does not regret his wasted years, nor is he ashamed of his inaction; so that, on the verge of death, he can say that I have devoted my whole life and all my energies to the most precious cause of mankind, the struggle for the liberation of mankind. ”
The reason why I take this famous saying as the motto of my life is not because of its depth and boldness, but because I have always practiced its truth and connotation. Although I don't have the same experience as Paul, I have the same physique as Paul. Like all people who have suffered from the sequelae of infantile paralysis, I have experienced all the pain of paralysis, hopelessness to further education, and even discrimination. However, in an opportunity for the township to select private teachers, I was fortunate to embark on the road of education and become an ordinary private teacher. It has been 29 years since 1985. Since then, I have started a new life, "folding my wings, I am still flying!" ”
Looking back on his education career, he is long and happy, every page is soaked with youth and blood, and every page is looking forward to growth and hope. I don't know how much homework I have read in the candlelight, I don't know how many children have been seen in the sunset, I open the floodgates of memory, I am still faintly in my eyes...
It was hard to become a teacher
I remember when I was first assigned, I was full of pride and hope, and I gladly went there. However, they were assigned to a small remote village. Together with the principal, the school has only six people and five teaching classes. The bell used for class is a bronze bell that the production team does not use, and it is hung on a small tree. The crisp sound of "Dangdang" spread throughout the small village. The desk is a stone table, the bench is brought by itself, there is no lectern in the classroom, the blackboard is cement coated with ink, white, rough blackboard makes it impossible to write a horizontal chalk, the huge classroom is like a warehouse, only a small window like a prison, just seeing what is waiting is a dozen pairs of expectant eyes. I understood that being a teacher is not the loftiness and mystery of the legend, but the hardship and mission.
My first lesson was "Morning in Yangjialing." Immature, but not very standard Mandarin, but attracted many curious people to watch, so that the first class, became a school-wide open class. My face was red, I was holding a book in my hand, and the classroom was surprisingly quiet: "Chairman Mao watered the seedlings..." I was so sacred and tall that I forgot that I was a disabled person. I walked excitedly among the teachers, writing new words on the blackboard stroke by stroke until the "Dangdang" brass bell rang...
Not all beginnings are romantic. At that time, I had just learned to ride a bicycle, and my legs were not very neat, and I fell a lot of heels on the potholed dirt road. Sometimes it rains, the bicycle can't be carried, I am like a clay man, miserable, I really want to retreat, I can think of the eyes of the students who are eager for knowledge, and the lack of closed small village teachers, I will wipe my tears and continue on the road. In the mid-1980s, parents did not pay much attention to their students' learning. In order to ensure the source of students, we had to mobilize every household. It was tiring at the end of the day, and I had to record a list of children who didn't go to school that day and go door to door. I remember once arriving at a family's house, it was already dusk, I had just walked to the door, and a dog came out of the cold. If it is a good body, it can resist for a while, but I can't move the stump leg, it bites my pants hard, and when I drag it hard, I fall, and when the child's family runs out, I am already scaly. It was this time that parents were touched and took the initiative to send their children to school the next day. Other parents were also touched and did not let their children drop out of school again, but there were additional conditions for their children to bring their younger siblings to school. Since then, I have been both a teacher and a nanny, eating, drinking, and sleeping, I have to take care of it, often putting down the books, I have to pick up the students' younger siblings and let the students write their homework. In the first few months, I didn't take a penny home for twenty yuan, either to buy books for students or pencils. In order to facilitate my work, I began to live on campus and take care of the children who returned to their parents late. In the evening, I batch homework and prepare lessons. It was hard, but it was fulfilling a lot.
There was a reward for my efforts, and I began to get recognition from my parents and leaders, seeing me cooking alone, often giving me good food, and sometimes inviting me to eat at home.
That's how I spent my first few years. I felt the greatest happiness of a disabled person. I am no longer a burden to society, and I have realized the value of life.
Education is a marathon of love
After hearing and seeing many education cases, after a conversation or care, a latecomer will change well, he can seriously complete his homework, can improve his grades, and become a good student. That's not the case. The growth of a student has to go through many tribulations. Especially latecomers, they are not interested in learning, often skip school, do not complete homework, and fight in class. As a young man, I was really broken.
In 1988, I was transferred to another rural elementary school where I taught everything except math in the fifth grade. There is a classmate named Fu Changchang in the class (pseudonym for the student's privacy). He was the head of the class, who was 15 years old at the time and was a repeat student. At that time, junior high school was to be admitted by examination, and he did not get in, so he repeated the grade. Whenever there is a problem in class, either it makes the students laugh, or I whisper a rebuttal when I say it out loud. I was educating bitterly, it didn't work, I wanted to beat him up, I couldn't do anything about it. For a while I couldn't find a response and I had a terrible headache.
One day, I walked into the classroom carrying a stack of homework, because the homework was too heavy, the lectern was too high, and I accidentally stumbled, and he was the first to run up and hold me. Although it was a small movement, I found that his advantages, deep inside him, also had a soft place.
So in the days that followed, I deliberately showed him weakness, and I said, "Changchang, you see I can't even move my homework, and you will move my homework for me before each lesson." Unexpectedly, he readily agreed. After that, he seemed to be much more honest and sometimes took the initiative to move stools for me. At that time, the graduating class of the school had to go to the evening self-study, from my village to the school, there was a slope and a railway crossing, and the darkness at night was very frightening. Every time I came home at night, I always felt that someone was following behind me, and I was fast and fast, but when I got home, there was no more. At first I was strange, but then I wanted to find out and quietly hid behind the corner. "Where did the teacher go?" Hearing the childish voice in the darkness, I understood that it was he who was escorting me behind with two boys. Since then we have pulled in the distance. As we talked, I learned that he was the youngest of the five brothers in the family, and the brothers had all begun to work in the fields, and he thought that going to school was of no use, plus he had not been admitted to junior high school, so studying was a time for him. I can take the opportunity to change the monotonous preaching, follow the induction, and use it to study. The feelings of teachers and students have become closer, and in half a year, he has gradually embarked on the right track, improved his studies, and finally been admitted to junior high school.
But progress is spiraling, and he has repeated it in middle school, sometimes not completing homework, even taking off the light bulbs in the classroom and skipping school. Whenever this happened he would come to me and talk about the grievances in his heart, and although he was no longer my student, I still had the obligation and patience to help educate him. Later, by a fortuitous mistake, he went to a labor camp. When I learned of this, I often wrote letters to encourage him to try to reform himself in prison and strive for his early release. After he was released from prison, he came to see me, and his first words were: "Teacher, I am grateful to you on the road of my life." "The prodigal son will not change his head, you abandon the worldly vision and start over." Later, he started a new business, and now his career is developed and his family is happy. I don't do much, but I deeply understand that education is a marathon project, and love is the runner. We can't make him better through a single education, we need longer patience and love, not giving up, not giving up.
Careful care for seedlings Love is meticulous
After coming to Le'an, many new problems have emerged in the new school and the new environment. The divorce rate of parents of children in the class has increased, and single-parent families have increased. This has made new decisions about our education and teaching. This year we rearranged the class, and there was a girl named Li Yu in the class, who was very cute and very smart, and her grades had always been very good, but now she did not complete her homework every day. Ask her, she didn't say a word, just cried. I learned from other teachers that his parents were in the process of divorce. Her mother had filed for divorce from his father for special reasons, but the two sides were at odds over custody of the child. Mom hadn't been home for a long time, and Dad was too busy with the restaurant business to take care of her. Every day after school, she came home alone, and the sudden change of the family made it impossible for her to adapt for a while. And both parents often fight, the mother comes to the school to see the child, the father knows to come to the school to make trouble, so that Li Yu can not look up in front of her classmates, causing a great shadow on her young mind. I called her to the office during recess exercises and talked to her. She said grievously: "Teacher, everyone else has a mother, but I don't, others come home, just do homework under the guidance of their mother, and I still have to help my father to watch the door and do business." What had been warm turned into indifference. Tears welled up. Yeah, it shouldn't be the pain of this age. I took her in my arms and said, "You are the daughter of all of us, my daughter, every teacher loves you, temporary difficulties, can not affect our learning, can not give up on ourselves, learn good knowledge, grow up to make a difference." "I said, you can't study normally when you go home, let's make a plan, you go home half an hour late every day, and the teacher will accompany you to finish your homework before you go?" She happily agreed. So every evening, I gave up the time to go home and cook and give her make-up lessons. The winter sun was setting early and it was getting dark fast, and I was going to send her out of school and watch her walk across the road.
Later, I consulted with the class teacher to talk to his parents, not because of the contradictions of adults, and not to affect the children, not to come to the school to make trouble, not to let other children see Li Yu's special. It is even more impossible to count the shortcomings of the other party in front of the child, let the child hate the other party, and return the child to a tranquility. For this reason, we made a special visit to her home. The father said that he would care more about the child in the future, and also gave the mother the right to be a mother, to come to see the child, to have more maternal love, and to make the child feel warm. After reaching an agreement with the parents, we followed up and observed. As a teacher, you can't just see your child's achievements, you must understand your child's family background, straighten out your child's thoughts, go deep into your child's heart, and understand her whole world, so that education can succeed. Because of her sweet voice, I encouraged her to participate in the reading interest group, and gradually became cheerful, no longer melancholy, and her grades improved rapidly, which I was very pleased.
Examples such as these abound, and this is just the most common one.
Years of ups and downs, many tribulations, the belt gradually widened and there was no regret
In the spring of 2005, he taught for 20 years. The long-term busy and intense work made me feel a little weak, sometimes my heart beat faster, Suffocated, and I couldn't breathe. My family and colleagues repeatedly urged me to go to the hospital for examination. In order not to miss the class for the students, I delayed it again and again, and later fainted in class before going to the hospital for examination. The result is myocardial exertion and myocarditis. The doctor suggested hospitalization, but then I could not go to class, and I discussed with the doctor whether I could bring medicine home to drip. Doctors say heart disease needs to be rested. I promised, but I have my own little abacus, in the clinic treatment, you can use half a day, the remaining half a day can go to class. I agreed with the math teacher to drop water in the clinic in the morning and go to class in the afternoon. At that time, it was the third grade students who were taught, who had poor self-control, had more poor students, and were not easy to manage. The effects of my morning water delivery are often exhausted in the afternoon classes, and my legs are swollen badly in the evening. During the wheat harvest, it was difficult to find a suitable substitute teacher in the remote village, so I had to persevere until the summer vacation. So myocardial exertion has not been completely cured. My family and colleagues have always called me stupid, but I know my responsibility.
In September 2009, a sudden car accident put me in the hospital. It was Teachers' Day, heavy rain, I had a cold and fever, I wanted to take a leave, but in the morning, many students borrowed their parents' mobile phones, sent me messages, and wished me a happy holiday. I was very excited, and I must have spent this special day with the students, so I put on my raincoat and set off. But because of the heavy rain, it was difficult to distinguish the potholes on the road, and when a truck sped by, I couldn't dodge it, so I fell out, and my head hit the cement floor hard, my face was broken, my head was slightly concussed, and my hands and legs were covered in blood. When the school leaders learned about it, they sent a car to take me to the hospital. I stayed in the courtyard for only one day and returned to the classroom with a full body of injuries. I don't know what makes me miss the classroom so much, but I can't do without this three-foot podium. Maybe it's attachment, maybe it's belief.
Coincidentally, the same thing happened again, the month before, I copied that year's car accident. This time it was with the school bus, because the country road was very narrow, and the location of the school bus occupied the entire road, so I had to hide on the dirt road and fall out again. At that time, I struggled to get up and looked at the broken knee, and the pain was unbearable. I thought I still had a lesson in the first lesson, or insist on going, the students are still waiting for me. Passers-by helped me straighten out the electric car and helped me get into the car. But when I got to school, after half a class, my knees became more and more swollen, the pain became more and more intense, and finally I couldn't hold on, so I went to the hospital. After the doctor's examination, this time it was a serious knee with water, periosteum injuries, muscle strains, and it was impossible to walk. The doctor asked me to take a month's leave and repeatedly told me to pay attention to rest and not to move too early. When I heard the news, school leaders and colleagues came to visit me, and many parents also came to visit. I feel that my years of hard work have not been in vain, and I have been cared for and cared for by my leading colleagues and parents. It was the time when the school was preparing for the inspection of the superiors, I really couldn't stay at home, the sick leave was not over, and when I could walk on crutches, I asked for class. In the morning, my husband drove me to school, and at noon my sister and father took turns picking me up and taking me back to my mother's house for dinner. At school, I walked into class on crutches and in a wheelchair; after class, cute students pushed me to the toilet with their wheelchairs. Without them, I could not complete the teaching activities, and I had their efforts and hard work behind me. I formed another scenery of the school with them.
postscript
Over the years, in addition to taking classes seriously and caring for children, I have also worked hard to make progress in my business. I have received numerous accolades. "Excellent Teacher", "Teaching Expert", "Subject Leader", "Backbone Teacher"... The award of these honors is an affirmation of my work, and at the same time motivates me to be more enterprising.
Although I am an eagle with folded wings, I still fly and realize my own value. Thirty years of education, I am confident that I have not wasted my life, looking back at the road I have traveled, all the way hard, all the way sweat and blood. I have always practiced this famous saying: "When a man looks back on the past, he does not regret his wasted years, nor is he ashamed of his inaction; so that, on the eve of his death, he can say that I have devoted my whole life and all my energies to the most precious cause of life, the struggle for the liberation of mankind." "Physically crippled, my mind is sound." The sky left no trace of me, but I did fly by. "What I have done is something that thousands of teachers have done, and it is ordinary, but I have no regrets about my choice.
About author:Lili Wang, teacher of Boxing Le'an Experimental School.