Wen | Yue's parenting
Betty. Emery: Living, struggling, loving our lives, loving all the joys and sorrows that life gives, that is a fulfillment. The fullness of life is always there and is accessible to everyone.
There's a Tree in Brooklyn is an autobiographical novel by American writer Betty Smith. It is about France, a little girl living in the slum of Brooklyn, in the face of the poverty of her family, the discrimination of her classmates and the injustice of society, she has always been like the "paradise tree" living in cement, struggling to grow, tenacious and indomitable to bear the various baptisms given by life, she has a sensitive and delicate mind, loves to observe and imagine, she decorates her soul with knowledge, and finally enters college.
The counterattack of the poor girl Francie, in addition to her unlimited pursuit and efforts for knowledge, the strength of the family is the wing of her growth.
1, parents love each other is the child's greatest sense of security
Psychologist Zeng Qifeng said: "The relationship between husband and wife is a family's needle in the sea.
Although France lives in a poor family, she is lucky, and there is nothing to talk about between her mother Katie and her father Johnny. They often stay up all night and chat about their parents. This made the growing Francie feel at ease.
France's mother, Katie, is undoubtedly an ordinary and great mother. In the face of a husband who was often drunk and unstable at work, she did not complain, did not quarrel, did not belittle her father in front of her children, she just silently resisted the burden of life.
Even after The death of France's father, when Katie learned that the doctor had written that the cause of her husband's death was excessive alcoholism and pneumonia, she urged the doctor to remove "excessive alcoholism." Because she wants to make a positive father image for her growing children.
She loves her husband and embraces everything about him. Although his father Johnny is an alcoholic, he always loves his wife Katie in his heart, and even owes Katie something due to his limited ability.
The relationship between husband and wife is harmonious, and the child can feel that life is stable and can have a sense of security. This gave Francie plenty of time in her life to grow and pursue her dreams, rather than the search for a sense of security.
2, teach children to learn to think positively
Educator Tao Xingzhi said: "Parents give their children the correct thinking position, which is equivalent to giving him a dependence on facing the world." ”
With the right thinking position, you can confidently and bravely face the ups and downs of the future.
On the day of the vaccination, Francie and her brother Nirey forgot the time due to greed, and went to the hospital for vaccination without cleaning. The nurse complained that the poor child was dirty, but when France returned home to complain to her mother, her mother did not scold France, but changed the topic, telling France that she could finally distinguish the left and right hands, and France was very satisfied with this explanation, because she could not distinguish the left and right hands.
The experience of vaccination left France with an unpleasant feeling, but once her mother reinterpreted it, there was a different situation.
For example, in life, the child's test is not ideal, the teacher criticizes too poorly, the child is hit hard, and he goes home despondent. Parents can use this opportunity to help their children build positive thinking. Gently and peacefully tell the child, in fact, the teacher thought that you can test better, he has great expectations of you, the evaluation is too poor because he thinks you have a lot of room for improvement. This may make your child feel differently.
On the way to the child's growth, more or less will encounter the problem of making them confused and uneasy, losing confidence, these problems may be the weight that cannot be borne at this age, parents use positive thinking, give children a new interpretation, will make the child's confidence greatly increased.
3, behind the "retrograde" education method is respect
The Francie family was undoubtedly extremely poor, the children often starved, went out on the streets to collect scraps, bought moldy bread, and in such a poor family they had a very extravagant habit.
Mother Francie would burn a large pot of coffee every day and drink it from morning to night. Although France loved coffee, she didn't drink much, and after enjoying the smell and warmth, France would pour it into the sink. Aunts Sissi and Ivy count their waste every time they come to see them. But Mom explained it this way:
Francie, like everyone else, could drink a cup of coffee per meal. If she thinks it's better to pour it out than to drink it, then she has to go with her. I personally feel that people like us, it is not bad to waste something occasionally, and good villains can also experience what it feels like to have money on hand and not have to piece together.
Compared with reprimanding children, this strange way of education may make children feel satisfied and happy in their hearts, and will not cause a sense of lack for children's psychology. Francie was also very satisfied with her mother's strange perspective.
The mother does not input the lack and heaviness of life into the subconscious of the child, and the child's heart is more abundant and flowing.
Like When She grew up, France went to the candy store as a child again, and she paid for it and asked the boss to let a certain child win the toy.
Coffee is given to you, and it is up to you to decide what to do with it. Behind Katie's "retrograde" approach to education is actually respect for Francie.
4. Love and sense of ceremony, let this family warm and colorful
At the end of the novel, France's mother, Katie, gives them another sister, and finally Katie marries a police officer, and her life is greatly improved. Francie and her brother felt that their sister Laurie would not be as hungry as they were, but not as lucky as they were.
I think the luck that Francie and Nyrey refer to is the flowing sense of love and ritual in this family, to their spiritual wealth.
The mother seemed to prefer her younger brother Nyrey, but the mother knew Francie better. And his father loved Francie even more. After his father Johnny liked to spoil The Little Song called France, he helped France transfer schools, and on the occasion of graduation, Francie also received graduation flowers from her father's aunt. These are the treasures of Love in Francie's heart.
Mother Katie made moldy bread in a different way, so that the child could not get tired of eating. She made a dish, taking the names of her daughter and son, and made the children feel like fun. She insisted on reading the Bible and Shakespeare to her children until they could read themselves. She made a life of uniformity and barrenness ritualistic and interesting.
Although she was poor, she was industrious and capable, always maintained her self-esteem, and was not eaten by the food that came. For the sake of dignity, for the sake of her children, she moved her home three times. She used a pair of soaked and rough hands to live like a flower, which invisibly affected Francie and Nyrey.
Every family has different powers, and these forces are the wings that lift the growth of children.
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