From 1980 to 1996, because of the words, Young fell in love with Duras, who was 39 years older than herself, and became the last lover of her wandering life.
In the book "Duras's Lover", written for Young, Duras portrays him as an angel.
For Jan, Duras is his boss, the leader of emotions, and his master.
01
Duras's deviant ways may have begun as a young man.
She was always with her closest little brother, and the two of them went hunting in the forest. She saw him as a brother, and he had different ideas about her.
One night, the little brother climbed into her bed, and something that adults could imagine happened, when Duras was only 8 years old.
What happened that night was going to be played out every night after that.
At a pier in Saigon, Vietnam, 15-year-old Duras met a wealthy boy from China.
They fell in love with each other, and he personally drove her to school and became intimate with her.
It's just that the man is very surprised, only to the age of cardamom, how can he be so familiar with the affairs of men and women? That was what the little brother had taught her, Duras replied.
In 1932, the younger brother was still staying in Vietnam, while the 18-year-old Duras was returning to France. Seven years later, she married a man named Robert.
Duras loved the man and was willing to sell his hue to the hateful Nazis in order to meet him in the concentration camps.
But her love was also shared with another man named Dionis, who introduced Dionis to her husband, and the three of them lived under the same roof and lay on the same bed.
It wasn't until 1946 that Duras became pregnant with Dionis's child that Robert couldn't stand it anymore and divorced her.
Duras didn't have much grief, even if her little brother died and her mother died, she could quickly throw herself into a new state of hunting.
She fell in love with Gérard, who was more debauched than she was, and they were trapped in the lights, drunk to the point of drunkenness, and crazy at night. Such a rotten life once lasted for 6 months.
Duras said: "If it weren't for the writer, I would have become a prostitute. ”
It is self-aware.
Gérard was still tired of Duras, and she was just one of many girls in the past.
In 1958, Gérard turned and left, and Duras's heart was cut.
A long time later, Duras met Jan Andrea, or rather Young finally met the famous writer Duras, who had been fascinated for a long time.
It was a 1975 Song of India seminar, where Jan and the other readers sat downstage, and when the symposium was over, Jan and a group of others followed Duras to the bar.
Looking at this old but still charming woman, Yang took the initiative to open the conversation box: "Do you have a lover?" Duras denied it.
He asked for Duras' signature and insisted on sending her a letter. The content of the letter is very short, and it is written about the wind and rain or the sunshine that Jan sees every day, and records his state of mind.
Young wrote for years, hundreds, thousands, without receiving a single reply from Duras.
Suddenly one day Jan stopped sending letters, but Duras hurriedly sent him a letter.
Young put a long fishing line, and sure enough, Duras was hooked.
In 1980, Jan walked into Duras's room with a bottle of wine, put down his luggage, and "declared sovereignty" to Duras: "I will stay here, either know you or die." ”
Duras walked in and hugged him, and Jan has since settled here.
The year after they fell in love, Duras wrote in a letter to Jan: "We have no children and no future. You're gay, and we love each other. ”
02
Jan helped her type like a little assistant and drove her. Duras called him as a "slave", occupying his body and dominating his carnal desires.
They would also kiss and make love like normal couples, and Duras, who was nearly 70 years old, guided Yang to reach out and touch her flabby skin: "Come, don't be shy, I will show you my body." ”
Duras longed, wanting Yang to be a little more enthusiastic: "You can treat me as you want." ”
Duras recorded the first time they took place at the Black Rock Apartments.
Later, their friend Munchau revealed that Jan had asked himself after that time: "Have you ever had sex before?" The experience with Duras made him feel like a man for the first time, and he had never had a woman like that. It turns out that this is the real enjoyment.
They are so incredible that they break through the traditional limitations and break away from the laws of physiology. Their passion bursts forth in the ocean, and they don't know when they will be overturned by the huge waves.
Duras told his friend Bull Ogier that Young was an angel, and Young's memoirs revealed the unbearable side of the relationship.
In his opinion, Duras was always unable to control his emotions, she would dress Young, she would specify what perfume, Young would have to use that perfume, and when she was not happy, she would give Young a face: "If you stay for money, you will get nothing." ”
Some people say that Young is a little obsessed with words, Duras can't quit the passion that has become addicted, and the two of them just use each other to benefit each other.
Jan argues that it is love, and he loves her more than anyone else in the world.
It's true that they don't have a future; And it's not false that Jan is gay.
Even with Duras, Jan would run to the bar to flirt with the male waiter and return home drunk with a drunken and stranger's body odor, much to Duras's displeasment.
Jan explained to her, "It doesn't conflict with my love for you. ”
But this kind of yearless love affair is not accepted, and Young's sexual orientation will only deepen the suspicion of the world: their relationship must not be simple.
Duras is unable to explain this complex fetish to the public, and she tries to restrain Young a little by controlling it.
Jan could not associate with women other than her, and when Duras went to Paris, Jan had to stay in the apartment and wait for her to return.
Jan couldn't look at men more, no one else could see Jan, and Duras couldn't tolerate his men being remembered by others.
Even Yang's mother came to visit her, which made her unhappy, because in front of Yang's mother, Duras looked older and more vicissitudes, and she simply let Yang cut off contact with his family.
Duras took away his last name, his past, a picture album was torn off the exquisite drawings in front of it, Duras picked up a paintbrush and repainted it on the blank page, she wanted to paint a new beginning of a story, she gave Jan a new surname: Andrea.
She dominated Jan's life, "You are not allowed to eat this, you are not allowed to wear this dress." ”
How overbearing.
Jan finally couldn't bear it anymore, quarreled with her, and beat her with his hands, and the bruises on Duras's body were one after another.
Once again they quarreled again, and Duras angrily chased him away, packing his things into a suitcase and throwing them out of the windowsill.
Yang punched her, and Duras cried and begged for forgiveness: "Please don't beat me to death, I'm going to call the police, I don't want to die!" ”
Jan went to the balcony to pick up his suitcase, at which point Duras threw down another record with the words of farewell: "Goodbye, Jan." ”
The next day Jan returned to the door of the apartment and knocked on it, but Duras did not show much surprise, which was probably what she expected.
03
In the 16 years they had been together, Duras hadn't known what Jan liked to do or even what food she liked, and she had no intention of going into it.
Young thought about escaping, but he couldn't escape, even if he could, he didn't know where he could escape. He was about to commit suicide several times, and Duras didn't seem to care very much, and he ran away in anger. Returning a week later, he found that Duras had written his story as The Atlantic Man.
Still angry, Young asked Duras, "If I die, are you going to write a little book?" Duras responded to him: "No, a big book. ”
It seems that Yang's joys and sorrows are irrelevant to her, as long as there is writing material, it is enough.
Up to now, Duras is a pua master, and Jan is trapped in the palm of her hand and refuses to go out until she dies.
In 1996, the novelist who published Lover passed away.
Duras had long anticipated that her limit was coming, and one night she shouted Young to her side and spoke for hours.
She wanted to say goodbye to Jan and persuade him not to kill herself because of her. But he was worried that yang would be lonely after he left: "After I die, what will you do?" ”
On March 3, 1996, Duras closed his eyes forever.
Jan disappeared after Duras' death, and no one could find him.
He hid in an apartment she had left behind, murky, like a living dead wandering on the border between earth and hell, and martyred Duras with his heart.
After 2 years, he finally regained a little sanity and called his mother, which was picked up by his family, whom he had not seen for many years.
In the third year of Duras' death, Young began to write a book about their 16 years of story, "That Love", which was the last letter to Duras, but the recipient could no longer find this person.