preface:
Nurturing life with life is a wonderful and great process, and we long for the arrival of new life to bring infinite hope and beauty to life, but sometimes it will backfire. It is an instinct to conceive life, but for some people, it seems to be more difficult than ascending to heaven. Guarding the healthy birth of a life requires a lot of effort, and sometimes it is still empty in the end.
After a failure, hope is finally lit up again
I was born in 1981, married in 2008, and luckily, I got pregnant in the first month after my marriage. At that time, I just thought that pregnancy was a very simple thing, and I had no experience, even if I saw red, I was just worried and afraid, and I didn't know where to find the reason. The first time I was pregnant, in less than three months, because of a bleeding in the night, when I arrived at the hospital, the doctor told me that the fetus had stopped.
After this failure, I began to search for a lot of information about fetal arrest. The doctor said, don't pay too much attention, maybe it's just a process of survival, and it's good to pay attention to the next pregnancy. But after a failure, I no longer dare to be careless, all kinds of Chinese medicines are eaten in large quantities, just so that the next pregnancy can be foolproof.
After nearly two years of recovery, she finally became pregnant again in 2010. Probably the first miscarriage, the body was affected, and this pregnancy was really not easy. It felt like I had taken medicine all my life during that time. I still clearly remember that it was one morning, and my aunt had been wrong for two days, and because she was afraid of disappointment, she wanted to wait for the pregnancy test. But I bought the test strip anyway.
When I saw the two bars on the test strip, I couldn't believe my eyes, knowing that this day was too hard to wait. In order to avoid the first fetal stop, it is basically cautious everywhere. Monitor progesterone once a week and spend the rest of the day lying in bed. In the long wait, the first three months of the dangerous period finally passed.
If you get it, you don't have it
However, the baby that God was going to give to me was once again cruelly taken away. It was twenty weeks pregnant, and one day at noon, I felt that the fetal movement was very slight, and I was very worried, so I called my husband and asked him to accompany me to the examination. After going to the hospital, the doctor listened to the fetal heart and said that the fetal heart rate is normal, probably because the month is older, the child's activity space is small, and the strength will appear lighter.
I went home nervously, although the doctor said that the examination was normal, but the small life in my stomach had changed abnormally, and the mother should be the first to foresee. At noon the next day, I felt that the fetal movement was particularly light, and almost every morning, the fetal movement was not felt at all. I began to fear, and that sense of dread, like I was about to enter the abyss.
I took a taxi to the hospital again, and this time I didn't call my husband because he said it was because I was too nervous and sensitive. When I got to the hospital, the doctor said that you only came to check yesterday, and the fetal heart rate is normal, and there is no need to check. I was not reconciled, so I changed to another hospital. The doctor at another hospital also helped me listen to the fetal heart, and the first time I listened, the sound was very small, not as powerful as before, but it could still be heard.
The doctor's explanation is that it is possible that the baby is lying on the stomach, so that the fetal heartbeat will sound weaker. In addition to the small voice, the heart rate is also normal. I repeatedly stressed to the doctor that I really felt that there was almost no fetal movement, which was very different from what I had felt before. But after the examination, the situation is normal, and the doctor also said to go home and observe it again.
There is a kind of loss, which makes people's liver and intestines cut off
That night, I almost never felt the fetal movement again, I was so scared that I didn't sleep all night. I touched my stomach in an attempt to wake up the baby with a touch, and I wish he had just fallen asleep. But no matter how it was touched, there was no movement at all. At four o'clock in the morning, I couldn't lie down anymore, woke my husband up, and he said to take me to the hospital when dawn so that I didn't have to worry.
The night felt incredibly long, and finally we waited for dawn, and we went to the nearest hospital. I lay in bed, and only I knew what was about to happen. The doctor used the fetal heartbeat to help me find the sound, but in any case, I could no longer hear the beating sound. My husband couldn't believe it, and the doctor said, don't worry, help me change the instrument and try again.
The result was the same, even if that faint heartbeat was never heard again. The doctor said to take a color ultrasound, I lay on the bed in tears, the doctor while using the cold instrument check, while telling me that the red part of the screen is the baby's heartbeat, if normal, it should be a flash, and the red part of the screen at that time is static, indicating that the baby has left me, and it should not be long.
I desperately told the doctor, no, I went to the hospital twice in a row to check it up, and told me that it was normal, how the baby said it was gone! Although I know that whatever I do if I go for it, the baby does really leave me.
The 20-week baby, with me for more than 100 days, from the beginning of severe morning sickness, to the real feeling of his presence later, and now away from me, I collapsed instantly. I don't know who to blame, because it's all to no avail. The doctor quickly arranged for me to operate, and although it was determined that the baby was gone, the doctor would still use a very long needle to penetrate from my belly, supposedly to the baby's head, and the medicine in the needle would ensure that the baby would no longer have any signs of life after birth.
After one night, I began to have contractions, and the pain that followed, I will never forget in my life. The doctor said that normal baby delivery, the baby will also cooperate with the mother to work hard. But for this kind of stillborn baby, it is up to the mother to exert herself. After some painful struggle, I felt something hot come out of my body, and I knew that at that moment, the baby would leave me forever.
I looked at the baby who had left me, so small, weak body must be very cold! With closed eyes and small mouth, it should be very painful when you leave! And that little hand, hanging to the side. I was already crying and drying my tears, and I didn't know what else I could do except look at him more. I looked at the baby and said to myself, I'm sorry, my poor child, if my mother insisted on letting the doctor do a comprehensive examination, maybe I could still keep you.
epilogue:
Baby, do you think that the mother is not qualified, the mother will change, wait until you think I am a competent mother, remember to come back to the mother ah! Mom will learn more about pregnancy, and next time she will definitely take her fate into her own hands. Today, nearly a decade has passed, but the unforgettable pain will never be forgotten.