In life, one should not say anything and make any decisions because of emotional impulses, because all things that are dominated by emotions will only lead to a bad outcome.
Emotions are a state of a person's subjective emotions, and this state is usually deviated from the objective, so that the way of "going against the grain" will never bring good results, so under the guidance of emotions, the right decisions will not be made.
The ancients said such a sentence, called: Do not allow characters in the midst of joy, and do not answer people in the midst of anger.
This means: When you are particularly happy, do not promise to give something to others; when you are particularly angry, do not talk to people.
Some people do not understand this truth in life, for example, when they are happy, they easily promise others something, and when they are angry, they say something harsh and ugly.
Many times when he says these words, he himself may not pay attention to it, turn around and even forget, but these words are heard in the ears and remembered in the heart, if you happen to meet some treacherous villains, these words just happen to be said in front of these people, then this matter will usually cause you to be unwilling to face and bear the consequences.
In the "I Ching", it is said that speech is the step that leads to disasters, and many of people's troubles and problems are caused by words being too casual, not knowing how to converge on their own emotions, not knowing how to speak carefully, and not being able to control their mouths, they will be prone to disasters caused by words.
For example, a historical story related to Guan Yu fully illustrates this point.
When Guan Yu was defending Jingzhou, Sun Quan planned to unite with Liu Bei to jointly resist Cao, so he sent emissaries who wanted to form a family with Guan Yu, so that they would be more conducive to consolidating the strength of both sides.
However, when Guan Yu heard that Sun Quan wanted to marry her daughter as his daughter-in-law, he was furious with the emissary who came to propose to him: "Wuhu's daughter Is willing to marry Inuyasha!" ”
This sentence not only lost the great opportunity to unite with Eastern Wu, but also formed a deep vendetta with Eastern Wu, and Zhuge Liang later heard about this matter and sighed: "Jingzhou is in danger." ”
It is reasonable to say that when things develop here, Guan Yu should have awakened, but his nature is difficult to move.
Later, when maicheng was defeated, Wang Fu advised him to take the main road, just in case, the small road was afraid that there would be an ambush. Guan Yu, on the other hand, stubbornly said, "Although there is an ambush, why should I be afraid!" ”
Eventually, he was killed because he was defeated and captured.
After Guan Yu was killed, Liu Bei was furious, so he ignored the persuasion of Zhuge Liang and Zhao Yun and others, led an army of 100,000 people, went down the river to the east, and raised an army to attack Wu.
When Sun Quan of Eastern Wu learned of this, he appointed Yidu Taishou (宜都太守), the thirty-nine-year-old Lu Xun ( Lu Xun , as governor of Dadu to resist Liu Bei.
Although Lu Xun had few soldiers, he was a very wise man, and he adopted the strategy of avoiding the enemy's attack and watching the changes, silently looking for fighters, and did not confront Liu Bei's army for half a year.
When the two lasted for seven or eight months, Lu Xun seized the opportunity and ordered his generals to set fire to the Shu army camp with thatch and burn the camp for more than 700 miles, Liu Bei had to flee with the remnants of the army, and finally fled back to the White Emperor City.
After this incident, Shu Han's vitality was seriously injured, and he was no longer able to conquer the Central Plains.
Therefore, cautious speech is very important for a person, and behind cautious speech is the control and combing of self-emotions.
As it is said in the Book of Plains, "He who complains by words is a curse", those who incur resentment because of language will inevitably cause misfortune because of this, and behind the wrong words, it is usually the result of irrational emotions.
For example, in this case, Guan Yu and Liu Bei both made wrong decisions because they were overwhelmed by emotions, Guan Yu was tragic because of a sentence, and Liu Bei lost "half of the country" because of a mistake in decision.
This also corresponds to the saying that the end of life often depends on personality, only people with peace of mind can prevail in the same situation, and habitual impulses, always trying to solve problems with emotions, will eventually lose to their own emotions.
In life, in fact, many people lack the reverence for "emotions" and lack the jealousy that emotions will bring bad results, so they will easily make wrong determinations in the state of emotions, and many people usually need to suffer losses to detect the mistakes.
If you want to be a wise person in life, you must advise yourself before mistakes occur, and when emotions appear, you can also moderate your behavior, so that people can benefit people.
Jiang Taigong once said a sentence to King Wen of Zhou: "When a king comes to the court, he must be quiet and serene, gentle and moderate, not impetuous, rigid and self-absorbed, listen to the opinions of others, act less arbitrarily, be humble and calm, do not be arrogant and stubborn, and treat others fairly and evenly, and not for selfishness."
This sentence is not only applicable to governing the world, but also applicable to governing our lives, because our own life is also a small world, "Cai Gen Tan" said: I am a small world, so that mood and anger are not ashamed, likes and dislikes, is the kung fu of reason.
Our body is a small world, if you can make the world's happiness and happiness do not exceed the rules, that is, let the mood grasp the moderation, let the likes and dislikes abide by the rules and the bottom line, which can adjust their own small world harmoniously, life can naturally avoid many problems, this is the kung fu of people, but also let people live in harmony, everything is peaceful.
The author | Guoxue Bookstore Taste the wisdom of Traditional Chinese Studies, feel the culture of the ancients, understand a different world, and see a different life.