Over the years, Australian Nurse Miss Brownie Farr has accompanied many dying people, listening to them and talking to them. She points out that the five things that most make the dying person feel remorse and want to be able to choose again are: wanting to live their own life, not being so engaged in work, showing their feelings, maintaining friendships, and pursuing more happiness. But what is happiness? How can I find it? What are the conditions for happiness? In recent years, science has inquired a lot about our happiness. Before we get to philosophy, let's take a look at some of the most important findings:
Happiness research suggests that half of our happiness is genetically determined. People with the right genes are already halfway down the road to happiness. The other half is mainly determined by the external environment, including living conditions, good luck and contingencies. Only a small part of happiness is controlled by ourselves. That is, we are not really the builders of our own happiness.
But what makes us happy? To put it bluntly, these factors are: health, family, love, friendship, work, wealth, and faith. How did this come about? Researchers have conducted a questionnaire: "Overall, how satisfied are you with your current life?" Please indicate it by one to ten. "How many points will you give?" The average is 6.6 in Germany and 7.6 in Switzerland, and the Danes lead the way in this statistic, with 7.7%. Relatively unhappy are the people of the former communist countries and the people born in the extremely poor countries of Africa. But in Latin America and the Caribbean, they enjoy a surprising sense of well-being relative to their less affluent lives, which seems to be related to the fact that there is more sunshine. But of course this does not explain everything, after all, the Sun in Africa is not small.
Does having money make people happy? Yes, but only to a specific amount. When basic needs are met, more wealth brings little more happiness. In Western industrial countries, once the annual income exceeds 60,000 euros, the daily happiness no longer grows. Income growth does make us richer, but it doesn't make us happier. It is also important to note that relative income is more important than absolute income. Our happiness depends on how rich the people we are comparing are. For us, how much our colleagues in the office make is important; but how much Bill Gates makes has little effect on us. (So, if you're the youngest frog in a pond, go straight to a new pond and be the biggest.) ）
There is another problem with the additional wealth: we will soon get used to the new level of affluence. For this reason, the satisfaction of the salary increase can only last for six months, and the happiness of the jackpot often falls even lower than before the lottery after six months. Conversely, unhappiness has the same phenomenon: people who are half-dead due to accidents often return to their original sense of happiness after half a year. The reference point will move as we adapt to the new environment, in demonstrating the power of habit to play a stronger role in well-being.
Some say that consumption is the new religion. We consume like crazy, but we don't achieve the purpose we want. Because shopping only brings a temporary sense of happiness. Getting things will satisfy, but holding them won't. That's why we keep buying. Research shows that we'd better spend our money on social events and experiences that will excite you, rather than buying material goods. Crowds can make us feel happy, but objects can't. So you'd better leave your expensive shoes in the window and take the money you save on an exciting trip with your best friends.
Prayer and meditation also help promote happiness: people with religious beliefs are happier. Does having children bring happiness? Yes, but you have to wait until the child lives independently or holds the grandchildren. Is politics okay? Participating in decision-making contributes to happiness: People who can actively shape their environment are happier than followers. Perhaps living in a democracy would therefore be happier than in a dictatorship. So, what about the age factor? When we are in the middle of life, happiness is the lowest. In the beginning everything is still in the future, and in the end we are easier to satisfy and less likely to make wrong expectations. What about the diversity of choices? Too many choices can be unpleasant—the result of choosing one of three jams is more satisfying than choosing one of fifteen. What about watching TV? Totally unhappy. So please don't touch the TV.
The surprising finding is that in the pursuit of goals, the process is often more enjoyable than achieving them. As the German saying goes, "The joy of anticipation is the greatest joy." "But when it comes to expectations, there's a problem involved: expectations are too high, and the result can only be disappointment. Unfortunately, it is difficult for people to set their own expectations freely; expectations are often self-generated. The same is true of happiness. Very few people can force themselves to feel happy. "Everyone chases happiness, but happiness hides behind us," the German poet Bertold Brecht (1898-1956) wrote. The Indian Jesuit priest Anthony de Mello (1931-1987) put it well: Happiness is like a butterfly, "You chase it and it flies away." You sit down and it stops on your shoulder."
But let's leave it on the calendar for those who talk about happiness, and then let's see what philosophy can do to happiness. As is common in school textbooks, we start with the ancient Greeks.
Happiness behind you
Suppose you live a happy life, live to a very old age, and die peacefully. Lying on the bed of your death, you look back for the last time and let your life pass in front of you one scene after another. Finally, you can safely say, "My life has been as I had hoped." What a successful life! "Before you can finish saying this, you pass away."
But then everything changed. After you die, your neighbors start spreading rumors about you and your family. Suddenly the whole city began to speak ill of you. Your children were enraged by these accusations and, in retaliation, killed their neighbors. Then your children are forced to die. They rob banks, they rob innocent people of their money. Your image of your family among the people is getting worse and worse. Now everyone still accuses you of not educating your children well. People curse your name and even spit on your grave.
In this case, would you still say that your life is "really successful"?
The man who proposed this contemplation was Aristotle; he was a pupil of Plato, a teacher of Alexander the Great. Aristotle was a great philosopher and a scientist through and through, a biologist, a physicist, a psychologist, a logician, a political scientist, a poetic theorist, a theologian and an ethicist. In the Middle Ages, he was referred to directly by the name "philosopher", but unfortunately we know very little about the private life of this all-round scholar. The twentieth-century German philosopher Martin Heidegger (1889-1976) summed up his life this way: "Aristotle was born, worked, and then died. "What an achievement that was! Until modern times, Aristotle's writings have profoundly influenced people's worldview. Although his physics is no longer read by many people today, more and more people are reading its ethics; in his far-reaching work Nikomachische ethik, he outlines the theory of "good life" to the letter. We do not know for sure the origin of the title, but it appears to have been dedicated to his son or his father, because both were called "nikomachos".
Aristotle believed that the goal that everyone strives for is called eudai monia, an ancient Greek word that can hardly be translated into German; some translate it as "glückseligkeit"; some say it means "smooth" or "successful life", and some translate it directly as "happiness". In any case, Aristotle believed that the happiness of this life is the ultimate and ultimate goal of human beings. There are some things we want only to achieve other goals, such as money, power, and property, which are only the means to achieve the goal. However, we do not pursue happiness to achieve any other goal through happiness—happiness itself is an end. Let's think about it with an example: Suppose you want a haircut. Why? Because I want to look good. So why do you want to look a little better? In order to make other people feel good about you. Why make others feel good? Because it is easy to communicate with other people. Why? In order to locate the object. What do you do when you're looking for someone? Love can be found. What does it do to find love? This makes you happy. So why do you want to be happy? Well, it's hard to answer. The question "Why do we desire happiness?" is meaningless, and thus shows that a successful life is never a means to an end, but the ultimate goal of all our actions.
According to Aristotle, a successful life depends on many different factors: external, physical, and spiritual assets. External assets He listed wealth, friendship, family lineage, children, honor, and good fortune, physical assets including health, beauty, and athletic skills, and mental assets he thought included virtues such as courage or integrity. All assets are extremely important to happiness, and without the gifts of others and the lack of good luck, people cannot be happy. Therefore, we had better not get rid of all external ties, and it is impossible to achieve our own happiness by our own strength alone. And never judge our lives until life is over, because who knows if tomorrow there will be an accident, illness, parting, or theft that will bring us into misfortune.
We can never guarantee that we will be spared misfortune. Aristotle said that even if you are happy at the time of death, happiness after death is not guaranteed. As presented in the aforementioned game of thought, the successful life we imagine is far more than whether the life before death is happy, our ideals in life extend to the time after death; we want to maintain a good image in the memory of others (even if by that time we are dead and can no longer hear any bad slander). It's actually a little strange, and it's the same for our bodies, no one wants to die and someone else kick his head as a ball. But what is the purpose of thinking this way? Dead people obviously can't feel anything!
Let's put football behind us and come back to the assets that determine our happiness. Let's take a closer look at the assets of the mind, that is, the virtues. The Greeks called "virtue" different from what we understand: for them even a knife can have virtue, if the knife does its task well, that is, if the knife is sharp and cut. Aristotle believed that all things have a purpose for which everything exists, and that it is naturally particularly capable of attaining it; therefore, if things fulfill their purpose very perfectly, they are called virtuous, knives are used to cut things, and lions are meant to prey on antelopes and defend their spheres of influence, and to have virtues is to excel in their own way. But does this statement also apply to humans? What is the purpose of human beings?
The golden ratio of happiness
According to Aristotle, man is the only creature with reason, man is the clever boy in the animal kingdom, and thinking is the mission of man, because he does this better than all other animals, so he should devote himself to philosophy and try to acquire wisdom. In this way, he is happy. Because the so-called successful life is to do things that correspond to your own nature. Live out your talents! Do the thing you do best. Unfortunately, not everyone is good at thinking about theory, and Aristotle understands this, arguing that there is not only one theoretical reason, but another kind of practical reason, and happiness can be found not only in theory, but also in practice, in correct behavior; Aristotle distinguishes between theoretical wisdom and practical wisdom, which can help us make correct decisions in daily life, and thus contribute to our happiness. But what is a good decision? Aristotle believed that the right decision often falls at the midpoint between the two extremes, and that the virtuous man excels because he grasps the golden ratio in every situation: the brave man is neither reckless nor timid; the prudent man is neither impulsive nor numb; and the generous man is neither stingy nor wasteful. Aristotle also believed that these character traits could be trained, that virtues could be learned, and that we could lay the foundation for our own happiness.