Paragraph 1: Teaching director, this is so, the senior is also a young and vigorous person, physiological needs always have to be solved, and I am a person with a cleaning habit, can not see others to pick up the pipe, let alone use my hand, so only use my sphincter to help the senior drain, is this wrong? The student explained so.
See clearly
Paragraph 2: Douban has a "minimalist life group", the original intention is that everyone is in it to explore "breaking away", throwing things, not brushing the circle of friends, abandoning those things in life that are not commonly used and social relations, and focusing on life. This group has not been able to do it. Because, the members of the group who really implemented the "minimalist" attitude to life all withdrew from the group.
New pie, take a photo
Paragraph 3: Yesterday in the hospital listened to the doctor to tell a real thing: a certain otaku at home naked on the bed holding a notebook to play games on the Internet, and then the notebook is placed in the lower abdomen position, the heat dissipation port is facing that... Cause that second degree burn...
Awkward dance
Paragraph 4: Every time the daughter opens her homework, she will sigh, drink some water, flip through the books casually, and find any opportunity to talk to people. She must have hoped that as long as she opened it long enough, the homework would be done by herself, and I understood it very well, because I was still so fanciful at this age
Scared to death for babies
Paragraph 5: Neighbor Lao Wang lacks virtue, giving himself a Taobao user name with the words "my father", and every time the courier delivers to him, he is always very embarrassed:
"You are... My dad? Lao Wang: Yes!
"You're my dad, go downstairs and get the courier." Lao Wang: Okay!
"Yes... My dad... Well, this has your courier..."
The courier felt awkward about how to say it, and then asked his chinese teacher and got guidance...
Courier: Hello! Hello! You call me Daddy, right?
Lao Wang: You... be?
Courier: Are you calling me Daddy?
Lao Wang: Who are you?
Courier: I ask you to call me Daddy, right?
Lao Wang: What the hell are you doing?
Courier: If you call me Daddy, I'll send you the courier! Are you going to call my dad and return the courier?! [Bad laugh]
Boss, trouble give me the hairstyle of the man in the photo frame
Paragraph 6: I was lying on the bed when I suddenly smelled the fireworks wafting from the house, ah, it was seaweed soup! And it must be seaweed lean broth! This lean meat must have been grabbed with starch first, and put down the moment the seaweed was boiled by the water! Ah, the aroma is more intense, slightly fragrant, it is a green onion, only sprinkled with green onions can have such an aroma! Ah, and a burst of fierce attack, out of the pot, and the bowl of soup is a ceramic bowl, otherwise it would not be so fragrant!
Do it yourself
Paragraph 7: Yesterday I went to talk about things, my friend drove a new car to pick me up, he asked how the car was, I said the color is very good... Then he told me to fasten my seat belt and take off... Ask me how I am, I said it's not bad fast... After holding back for half a day, he finally asked: Do you not know the Maserati standard?
There are capable people who can clearly distinguish between no
Paragraph 8: There is a homeless man and his girlfriend who quarrel in the park. Suddenly the tramp poured the wine on the park bench and then lit it with a fire. What the are you going to do? I yelled at him. "She wants to leave me," he said, "but I'm not going to leave the house for her!" ”
Get up in the morning to walk your pet
Paragraph 9: When I was a child, my family had a dog, which was particularly humane, and every time I went to school, I was sent to school, and when I was out of school, it was waiting for me at the entrance of the village.
I was in middle school, far from home, and could only go home once a week. Once during recess, Uncle Janitor came into the classroom and said, "Your dog has come to you."
I was surprised and said: How do you know it's my family.
Uncle Janitor looked at me and said, "It's holding your picture."
Paragraph 10:
My girlfriend seemed to have something on her face these two days, and I asked her what was wrong?
Her: "I quit my job. ”
Me: "How did you quit, it's only been a few days?" Are your bosses harassing you? ”
She listened excitedly and said, "Great idea! These two days I was worried about how to explain it to my family. ”
Why??