Phoenix Nirvana reborn from the ashes

The following article, is one of my classmates after experiencing a major ordeal thinking work, in 2016 because of the tea, we went to Shenyang Guo teacher to study together, she is our class leader, a few days of courses her husband has been accompanying her, Lang Cai female appearance of the immortal couple, is very envious of us. After a few years, until I read the article, I didn't know what she had experienced and the growth of her heart in these years. With the consent of the author, it was able to share it to the family. Thanksgiving author!!!

After ten thousand times of grief

spallation

It's summer again, it's been 3 years soon, and yesterday I unexpectedly received a call from the editor of "Lai Ri Ke Yi". Let me write my story to everyone. If these words of mine today can touch, encourage, and inspire even one person, then the letters I have written to my lover in recent years will have greater significance!

First of all, why me?

I have asked myself again and again: Why me? I've never done anything harmful, I've always been kind since I was a child, why should I bear all this pain? I have selflessly helped so many people for so many years, I never want much, I just want a home, but is this fair to me?

Later, I slowly figured out, why can't it be me? As soon as I was born, I had the best father in the world, all the teachers I met after going to school were very fond of me, the leaders I met after work all valued me, and later I met him who was wise and open-minded, I also had well-behaved and healthy children, relatively stable economic conditions, and a career I liked, when these things happened, did I ever ask: Why me?

I used to blame myself all the time.

If I go to the procuratorate to take notes, I can think more,

If I hadn't looked for that

Lawyers, when defending, you can adjust your thinking a little,

If I change direction when I work on the final stage

Will the result be different?

It is only after experiencing some things that you understand that many things are doomed to end in the beginning, what you do or don't do; Whether there is effort or how much effort is done doesn't make much difference.

It's like you pass by a pit and fall, you have been chafing back and remembering how you fell, why you fell, why others didn't fall, whether your footsteps were wrong, shouting and shouting injustice, these are not helpful, what you should do is to get up as soon as possible, treat the pain, live a good life.........

So I slowly reached a consensus with him: since we can't hide from this robbery, we will not ask about the causes and consequences, try to look forward, reduce the loss to the minimum, plan the road ahead, strive for the best results, and go home early...

So how do I live without him?

After many years of getting along, the person who is deeply attached suddenly leaves, like a seed, growing into a tree in your body, the root system is deeply planted, the branches are luxuriant, and suddenly it is uprooted, and the separation of flesh and bones is not painful? Of course it hurts! Can you still live? Yes!

At first, there was still his breath on the quilt, and his shadow was everywhere in the house, and then, slowly disappearing, the figure, breath, and voice that belonged to him all disappeared. This kind of pain tears the heart and lungs, and those who have experienced it will understand that it is not an understatement of the word "strong" that can cope. In addition to being emotionally devastated, it is even more a disaster for the family, the top beams and pillars collapse, the main heart is withdrawn, debt, work, life, the elderly, children, like Tarzan pressing the top, making me panic and anxiety, fidgeting .........

In countless sleepless nights, I asked myself over and over again: Is it survival? Or destruction? However, can it be escaped? What about his parents? They have a peaceful and smooth life, but they have to suffer from being separated from their sons in their old age? What is the child's guilt? Losing his father's company in the growing years is already an irreparable regret, and what kind of fate should he have to lose his mother's protection? And him, if I give up, how can he survive? Who else can love him as much as I do, feel sorry for him, and accompany him through this?

So I can't give up, I can't be weak, I can't wash my face with tears. I have to live well, protect them well, I have to be strong myself, this is a responsibility that I can't shirk.........

The book once said: Love a person, not for his tragic death, but for him to live hard.........

So, let me take on all this.........

And about why is this happening to me?

Why didn't his family help? Why do I have to bear everything alone? Why do they change their faces when they were once pleasant? This is the warmth of human feelings, people in our group, more or less, have felt .........

Today, let me tell you the answer: there is no why, when you are proud of the spring breeze, you see a smile and warmth may not be true, the world is cold, human indifference, is the truth of life...

Some people, you think he has changed, in fact, just his mask has fallen off...

Don't say it's a friend, after his accident, his brother took away the money his parents sold the house, cheated me hundreds of thousands of deadly money, you will inevitably be shocked, will be angry, will cry, but no matter how the people around you, please wipe away your tears, remember to go your own way, can you get out of the predicament, what will be the future situation, it all lies in yourself, not in them............

I have said two words to myself repeatedly:

1, never deal with villains

2, and try to remember only kindness, forget the harm

On my birthday last year, my girlfriend bought expensive gifts and gave me more than 999 roses. Saying that it is not easy to give to Xiao Qiang, she said, I must accept it, I want to thank you, let me see a lot of beauty, let me believe in love again. Every summer, girlfriends who are far away from home will send me the latest summer cool quilt and cool mat, she said that I am most afraid of the heat, she wants to take care of me instead of him inside; in these three years, as long as I hear that I have a problem, there will be a lot of friends around me who are sincere to me, bold for me, give me ideas, and help me solve problems. In the past 3 years, I have felt the ultimate goodness and beauty of human nature countless times, and is this not enough to offset the harm caused by those who do not know the so-called?

The people who have loved me and helped me will always be in my heart; the people who have hated me and hurt me, I have long since stopped thinking, it is not that I have forgiven them, I just let myself go.

So how do I get out of this predicament?

When I am so sad that I can't breathe, I mop the floor and do housework; when I don't know what to do, I read books and study, and man is a spiritual animal, no matter how painful the body is, as long as the spirit is supported, it can't collapse. When the mood is depressed, try to divert attention, mopping the floor is a good way to reduce stress, over and over again, as long as the hand is not idle, the chest will not be so uncomfortable. Day by day, year after year, staying up, it came...............

Work and life, full of pressure, inevitably confused and overwhelmed, I told myself, no matter what the future direction, hard work will never be wrong. So, I worked hard, I studied hard, often late at night...

In addition, from 18 years on, I insisted on two things: morning running, from 1 km to 3 km, and then to 5 km; and reading, at least half an hour a day...

In the past few years, morning running has become a habit, health has been greatly improved; rarely cold, rarely sick, I am really afraid of my own illness now, because I am sick, the family store and he is all paralyzed, these years of reading, can not say how good, but the mentality is really getting better and better, more and more open-minded, living more and more transparent .........

During the 3 years of waiting, even if there was an epidemic, the business in the store was not particularly affected. I ran through various tea mountains across the country to find tea, I used my heart to give lectures, and I sincerely treated every tea friend and student. I also continue my public welfare work. Raise funds for the construction of monasteries, donate money for schools with intellectual disabilities, and donate old clothes to Yushu in Qinghai. In recent years, I have used my free time to pass the national first-level tea technician certificate, the first-class tea art technician certificate, and the national appraisal tea evaluator certificate. At present, I am studying in the undergraduate tea department of Zhejiang University, and I have also reported a psychological counselor, his debt in recent years, I am also slowly facing the economic crisis I am not afraid, the current state of the elderly on both sides is stable, and the children are growing up healthily. He is also getting better and better, positive in mind, in good health, he said, even the worst results can be accepted, I wrote to him to say that it is okay, the worst result is not eight and a half years? More than three years have passed, isn't there still five and a half years at most? I'm not afraid...

Life, gradually showing us hope, I know, the most difficult days, has come.........

No one is born brave, but only for those who need protection have to choose fearless and strong. I'm waiting to enter my 4th year, and I'm ready, the future, come on