"The Thorny Brother" came to an end, allowing me to see dozens of different types of men at a time, feasting on my eyes, and being touched by one person, that is, Lee Seung-hyun.
I can't say what kind of charm he has, which makes people inexplicably like it.
Definitely not looks, absolutely not.
It wasn't until that day, when I saw an article by Wu Zhihong's team, that I understood,
That's right, it is:
He has the ability to face guilt and self-reflectively, also known as guilt.
Why is this ability so fascinating?
Do we all have different degrees of guilt after doing something wrong or hurting someone?
But in most cases, even if we are uncomfortable in the moment, we will habitually deny and avoid.
And people who have the ability to face guilt will let this discomfort be fully released.
For example, in the face of children's naughtiness.
Once, while eating and playing, I also knocked over the rice, and I was very angry, so I beat him.
But in the face of the crying child, I began to feel guilty again.
In the end, I convinced myself that this kind of thing could not be easily let go, otherwise it would be like this next time, I am not wrong, do not feel guilty.
In fact, after that incident, I thought about it for a long time.
I've been thinking about whether I'm a bit of a fuss.
Lee Seung-hyun participated in a parent-child reality show a few years ago, and he encountered similar problems.
His daughter was naughty and made a mistake, very angry he let his daughter punish the station, and after the daughter cried, he was very guilty and took the initiative to apologize.
Later in the interview, he said: I think I am not patient enough, I should understand her more, rather than control her.
People with guilt will be the first to admit their guilt.
If I had this ability, then while feeling guilty after I hit the baby, I took the initiative to apologize to the baby, maybe it wouldn't let that uncomfortable feeling last too long.
Such a mindset is healthy.
Why?
Driven by guilt, when doing something wrong or hurting others, you can be keenly aware of your own problems, and take the initiative to reflect and repair the relationship in time.
This ability has the function of growth, especially at work.
I remember that during the 4th performance, Lee Seung-hyun, as the captain, gave Zhang Qi a lot of suggestions, but the other party did not listen and openly confronted.
Afterwards, Lee Seung-hyun privately approached Zhang Qi, confessed his bad feelings, and asked Zhang Qi not to say this in the future.
After expressing his thoughts, he also patiently listened to Zhang Qi's thoughts.
Although he did not approve, he respected Zhang Qi's ideas.
In the end, Zhang Qi, as the representative of the team, came first in the bottom of the vote, and Lee Seung-hyun just took the initiative to hug and comfort.
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I think no one is born a captain, but after going through this again and again, Lee Seung-hyun has grown into a good captain.
People with guilt can see their own shortcomings and the needs of others.
Naturally, such a person grows faster.
We have a legendary project manager in our company, and the team he leads will make money no matter what the project is.
This was the case more than a decade ago, and now many people are competing to enter his team.
There was a technical exchange, just the opportunity to chat with him, and I found that one of the biggest traits in him was to be able to see the needs of others.
In the words of his team: he was willing to listen to our ideas, work with him, and feel that he grew up quickly.
He himself said: I know that I am not omnipotent, I will do wrong things, do wrong things, say it, and let's see how to solve it together. It's all out to make money, not so much.
The atmosphere of doing things is good, and they can grow and make money, such people, everyone is willing to follow.
When talking to a friend about this, he said: Reflection and guilt are difficult to see in adults.
When many people do something wrong, their first reaction is not "I'm sorry, I was wrong", but: "Finished, I will definitely be scolded to death."
In order to avoid the consequences of being scolded, people generally have two manifestations.
One is self-aggression.
For example, accidentally hurting people, directly condemning yourself: how can I do such a thing, it's an asshole, I should be damned.
Condemn yourself first in exchange for forgiveness.
This feeling of guilt is too much.
Another is to attack others.
For example, if you hit a child and lose control of your emotions, you say to your child: If you don't obey, I will beat you.
Deny guilt, just to "save" yourself.
In fact, no matter what kind of situation is above, as long as you sincerely apologize and communicate, the contradiction can be repaired and the relationship will be more intimate.
Confronting guilt is not to blame yourself excessively, and not to avoid it too much.
But most adults just can't face guilt rationally, and in relationships, they can't face and accept their own guilt.
I think I can learn this from my children.
Once I got angry and spoke to him loudly, and he asked: Why are you angry?
Dead ducks have a stiff mouth, and I replied: I'm not angry, I'm just talking loudly.
Baby: But I don't like you like that.
Drawing with him, he accidentally poked the pen into my hand, I showed a little pain, Wa saw it, immediately asked: Is it very painful, sorry, next time I will be careful.
From heartache to apology, it's just a few seconds, extremely natural.
If you want to "do" it again, you will be cured in an instant.
If you can honestly face guilt, people do not have so many contradictions, but can solve them in response to practical difficulties.
In this way, let yourself get a little adjustment and perfection, and really get growth and transformation.
We were all once children, expressing joy and sorrow, facing guilt, and self-acceptance.
But why, slowly, we lose this ability again?
Be an adult like Lee Seung-hyun, hermaphrodite, real and euphemistic, feminine instead of a.