Text | Leaf allure
Friends said that the most desperate time in his life was when he had just graduated, couldn't find a job, and his identity was unresolved.
I was a little surprised to hear this, and I said: You are the third man I have met, who regards "not being able to find a job" as a desperate life.
He said: Is it necessary to emphasize the word "man"?
I said: It's too necessary. I've never met a woman so pampered and dismissed such a trivial setback as "desperate".
The first case is a bit after 60.
When he graduated from college in the early 1990s, he was in the midst of a transition from employment distribution to self-employment.
Or assigned him a place, but not a good unit, want to go to a good unit, want to run by yourself.
It was a big man over 180 years tall, so he rode a bicycle and ran everywhere to submit his resume, and the more he cast, the more he felt aggrieved.
One day passing through a certain place, just met people playing a red song "the sun is the reddest, *** the dearest", he got off the car, sat on the road teeth and cried, can't figure out, he is a proud son of heaven, how he fell to this point.
Passers-by saw him crying, and came to him with concern and asked him: Did you fall?
He cried so much that he couldn't speak, and he felt more self-pity.
When he told me about it, it was the beginning of this century.
He was nearly forty years old, still choking up and tears in his eyes.
But at that time, I had already left the office and experienced some troubles in finding a job.
I listened to my heart inexplicably: just looking for a job, why bother?
Should you hand over your resume, and people will be like a treasure?
Are you a treasure?
But in general, women are obligated to act as "listeners" and "comforters" in relationships, so I still comforted him falsely for a while.
The second case is also a post-60s generation.
After being demobilized from the army, there was an independent job choice (more or less, inaccurate), he had no academic qualifications, it was not easy to find a job, and finally found an advertising agency, a thousand a month.
After many years, he was still indignant when he spoke: It's all the nineties, what is a thousand? So low.
(Boss, a thousand was not less in the nineties.) ）
He still planned to learn something that would set up his own portal, so he was very diligent for a while. But in this way, the boss did not give him a raise.
When he said it, he was really full of despair: it was completely useless, and he couldn't try any harder.
(Is your job worth a thousand?) ）
The problem was, when he told me about it, he was almost fifty years old.
At the age of fifty, I still think that this is the most painful thing in his life, and you can imagine how smooth he has been.
They will regard "finding a job is not smooth" as a desperate life, which means that they all have a smooth life.
Did not experience abuse in childhood;
Puberty has not been bullied – although both boys and girls may be bullied, but consider the difference in physique and size. Boys are at best bullied by the whole class, while girls are likely to be bullied by everyone in the class;
Smooth sailing in further education;
Although there are setbacks in marriage and love, most of them give setbacks to others. If there is a divorce, it is a bloody tear, they have nothing to do.
They have also experienced the death of relatives, but it is not they who serve people.
There are no major problems with health...
And as a result, they magnifie all the tiniest pains of life.
They have not been beaten, they have not broken their bones, and the injections have become torture, the wounds they will never forget.
I haven't moved bricks, I haven't carried a gun, I've helped my girlfriend carry a bag once, it's hard labor.
The friend said: What is the despair of women?
I said: In the old society, men went to work and women did not go, so women really did not know the suffering in the workplace.
Up to now, men go to college, and women also take the test;
Men look for jobs, women also look for;
Men lose their jobs and women lose;
All the suffering that men can encounter, women have encountered.
If you insist that impotent women can't meet, it's lifting the bar. Impotence I don't know where the suffering is.
But the suffering of life is still borne by women.
For example, 15% of pregnancies have spontaneous abortions, and you think about the feelings of women who share these hapless things.
Also, caring for the elderly and sick, in the East Asian tradition, is a woman's business, think about their physical and mental suffering.
Men can't understand it at all, and they have to immerse themselves in self-pity and narcissism, which is really unbearable.
Some young children will say: If you hurt a man, a woman will be unlucky.
I'm afraid that's true.
I can't deny the painful feelings of men – it's true, babies are injected to cry to death.
But I really don't want to comfort the cries of the giant babies anymore.
Boys should be self-reliant.
Men don't spoil themselves too much.