There is a only way in the world that no one can take but you. Where does it lead? Don't ask, just go. - Nietzsche, "Be Yourself"
Sometimes we deliberately distance ourselves from some people and things because certain situations can bring us some unpleasant experiences or harm.
But there is a person, seemingly intimate, but also often feel strange, that person is himself.
Obviously something happy has happened, but it can't be happy;
Obviously I wanted to cry, but I couldn't squeeze out the tears;
There are many friends in the address book, but they don't know who to confide in;
The long-awaited goal was finally achieved, but a strong sense of emptiness arose in the heart...
When these 4 feelings often appear in your life, it means that you have become a stranger to you.
Psychologists call this phenomenon "self-alienation."
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="11" > what self-alienation is</h1>
In the dictionary of psychology, self-alienation is described as an individual who is often unaware of himself or is largely unable to describe his or her own internal mental processes.
That is what we often say, we can't understand what we are thinking.
Everyone's self-development runs through their own life, so it is natural that they will become the one who knows them best.
Psychologist Karen Horne believes that the reason why a person chooses to escape from himself is a means of defense against internal conflicts.
That is to say, trying to solve your inner conflict by avoiding it, but in fact, the problem still exists, but you choose to turn a blind eye, so that you feel more and more strange to yourself.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="19" > 3 manifestations of self-alienation</h1>
Self-alienation is something that is difficult to be aware of.
Because we usually think that we are the people who know ourselves best.
The phenomenon of self-alienation occurs because seeking advantage and avoiding harm is a kind of human survival instinct, and when our hearts are full of pain, then fleeing from ourselves will also become an instinctive reaction.
Being aware of one's own self-alienation is a very important thing, because some wounds can be healed by time, but some wounds require proper "treatment" to truly heal.
When the following 3 manifestations are in your life now, it means that you need to look back at yourself and get closer to him again.
1. Lack of presence
Life often needs some goals to generate motivation for life.
We need to be affirmed by others, we need to be fulfilled, we need to feel loved.
But sometimes, although we have acquired these things, we still cannot feel satisfied, but instead produce a strong sense of emptiness.
This is because, though we have established a connection with the world, we have lost our connection to ourselves.
2. Desire to be alone, but unable to enjoy solitude
Being alone is a spiritual need of everyone.
Because in addition to receiving external information, everyone also needs to sort out their own internal feelings.
A self-alienated person often explodes with the desire to escape the crowd, but once they enter a state of solitude, they feel a stronger panic.
They want to escape the crowd because others can't see their true selves, and when they're alone, they realize how much they want to run away from themselves.
3. Be very concerned about the evaluation of others
A self-alienated person will often tell himself not to care what others think.
They will choose to alienate others and not let others judge themselves, not because they are really free, but because they care too much about what others think of themselves.
Ignoring, criticizing, and denying can all cause them to fall into the quagmire of negative emotions, and the best way for them is to close the door and let others not enter the space they care about.
What I long for is nothing more than to put into life the nature of my heart that is out of my heart. Why is it so hard? —Hermann Hesse, Demian
Many psychological concepts are not designed to give people a negative label, but to make us build a stronger sense of self.
Self-alienation is a common state in life, and every time self-alienation is possible to make us more and more distant from ourselves, it is also possible to make us closer and closer to ourselves.
Honey says that not being able to be herself is the root of all despair.
Maybe in life, one trauma after another will make a person push themselves away, but to complete the tasks in their lives, we must use our own strength to find ourselves back.