Prologue to Beyond a Thousand Mountains
Anchor Han Feng broadcasts for you
I finally decided to pick up my pen and write about Tibet again.
It's been another five years since I finished writing Sun and Moon.
When did it start, and I felt that time was moving so fast. It's really like an arrow, and there's no going back. The word "fingertips" really has to wait until the years are getting older and there are years to look back on.
In this way, there is no sense of sadness and sorrow.
Instead, I felt that the decade from the age of 22 to 32 was a day when I was truly happy and rejuvenated. This decade is also a decade in which my writing path slowly opens, slowly calms down, and gains deeply.
There are always people who are curious about the identity of the writer, as if this is a different and changeable profession, just as many people think that opening a café, homestay, bookstore is a very romantic thing, as long as you pick it up beautifully, open the door will be like a cloud, in fact, this is not the case at all.
One
When the initial impulse is over, the passion for writing is often sustained by genuine interest. It's a long, continuous, wrestling process with yourself. Throughout the process, moderation and self-enjoyment are important things.
Writing seems to be a combination of the director, the screenwriter, and the actor, first writing/acting for yourself, then writing/acting for others to see, and in the end, it is still a return to seeing yourself--this is similar to the stage of cultivation, and the ultimate purpose is also similar, all of which are coaxing themselves to move towards a better goal.
When I saw Hu Lancheng say "writing practice", I deeply believed it. Unfortunately, he was duplicitous, and he could not and did not use words as a practice. Just complacent, a kind of wind trick to entertain himself, in his bones, he is still a small literati with no character and no line. If we talk about the real practice of writing, Tai Shi Gong's "History" is counted as one, and Cao Xueqin's "Dream of the Red Chamber" is counted as one. Others may be able to do it, but it's not so pure.
After ten years of writing, I can only dare to say that writing is a very prudent thing, and cultivation is also a very prudent thing. Finding writing—practicing as my way of life was the beginning of a change in my life.
As a teenager, I was lurking in Jiangnan, like Sun Xinger being crushed under the Five Elements Mountain and unable to move. In addition to the memories of youth that you and I share, the unfinished exercises, the unfinished tests, and the feeling of going to class like going to a grave, what I can't live with the most is the rainy weather in Jiangnan.
Two
Personally, I think that compared with the haze of Huangmeitian in Jiangnan, the smog that has been spurned by people in Beijing is nothing at all. I don't like the reality of Gangnam. Even now, I only stay for a few days in the best season of the year, when it is time to go sightseeing, and when it rains, I am so annoyed that I want to pull my legs and run away. If it weren't for the years of poetry immersion that left me with a love complex, my impression of Gangnam in my life would have been terrible because of the weather and personal health! Moisture and frostbite tormented me repeatedly, like two undead enemies. I know I can't die, but it's worse than death. Every year spring and winter are cold to death, cold to the point of ashes. In the summer, there are many sweltering mosquitoes, and I am a mosquito physique, and everywhere I go, I am wrapped up and come back, itching to the liver and intestines.
Autumn is a little better, but the motherland's mountains and rivers, where is autumn not beautiful and not good?
I later figured out that the weather was extremely affecting my mood, and even my adolescence seemed dark and wet... The moss seems to grow from the soles of the feet to the tongue. So when the youth movie was hot and everyone was reminiscing about youth, I was dazed and obediently shut up. I'm afraid that as soon as I open my mouth, people will be upset.
To tell the truth, my family is not in a bad situation, and my family education is also enlightened, so I should not be angry. But I feel that youth is boring and powerless, just like you try your best to go, but you can't see the future, and you can't see the end.
Every day is a repetition and a repetition. Go to a good middle school, maintain good grades, and then, go to a better high school, college, and then what? Find a good family, get married and have children. All standards are good, but this is good, and it is only good that secular standards recognize it.
Three
Raising children, worrying about children for the rest of your life... Living like the elders around me, such a life can be seen at a glance - such a long life that cannot be seen and cannot be omitted is really gray. If this is the belief and goal of my life, I don't think I will be willing to smile in the future.
There is nothing bad about it, unfortunately this is good, thanks, sorry, I don't want it. I don't want my life to be one of the vulgar sacrifices.
This year back to Anhui For the New Year, in just a few days, I feel that it is still OK, and it is not okay to stay for a long time. In this life in Jiangnan, I am destined to be just a passer-by, not a returnee.
In his life, he was most afraid of nagging with Jiangnan people. After two days of chatting, I suddenly felt that the blood trough was empty, and the follow-up was weak. Those who are sophisticated and short in parents are really not topics that I can control and appreciate, but they are elated, and you can't rudely interrupt, you can only promise to echo.
What I really resist and get bored with is this: watching the worldly tenderness and troubles, like a vine, tie the hands, feet and hearts of most people, and they are unaware. It was inexplicably sad.
"The Three Realms have no peace, like a house of fire." The multitude is full of suffering, and it is terrible. There are often old and sick, and the worries of death, and if they are such as fire, the heat is endless. His Holiness Shakyamuni said that if you don't open your eyes, you won't realize that the Three Realms are like a house of fire and the earthly world is like a cage, but most people go forward and follow and enjoy it. What can you do? As soon as he opened his mouth, he was beaten as an outlier.
Four
At that time, I occasionally wondered, is there a higher place beyond the rolling hills of Jiangnan? But at that time, what else could I do besides studying? I don't even have the strength to run away from home.
The little doubt in my heart, like a grasshopper shaking a tree, couldn't shake my life at all. Although later I realized that it was the shallowest renunciation in the bud, in the bud.
In my bones, I don't have any nostalgia for adolescence, nor can I identify with the innocence, blindness, enthusiasm, and impulsiveness of my peers. At that time, all kinds of unwillingness and expectations were full of embarrassment and powerlessness in retrospect. The deepest fear left by adolescence was ignorance. The troubles of sitting in the well and watching the sky, cocooning themselves, and the traps in the name of blood and self-grasping, even if they are bystanders, are enough to make people feel bored.
I am not a rebellious person, but there is too much confusion in my heart, and I can't answer it at that time. Asking others seems to only get plausible answers. I was vaguely resistant, unwilling to be dragged into their habitual thinking.
It wasn't until I was 21 years old that I was able to verify the knowledge in the book, the knowledge in my heart, and the similarities and differences between the outside world.
When I arrived in Tibet, we knew that there were thousands of mountains beyond them, and that after the haze the sun shone brightly, and joy was hidden deep in the depths of the world. Because they understand impermanence, they believe in cause and effect. The people here are even old, they are old for a long time, silent, and they will not be startled at first, and they will not nag.
It was Tibet that made me believe in the Dharma, it was the Dharma that opened my mind, although I could not see the mountains as mountains and see the water as water, but I could see the mountains and love the mountains, and see the water and enjoy the water.
Five
Following a little glimmer in my heart, I slowly stepped out and saw a wider and far-reaching world.
If I hadn't practiced the Dharma, I probably wouldn't have the passion and motivation to keep writing. People are more or less trapped by their own insights and experiences, and to a certain extent, they are unable to sustain and unable to break through. At this time, it is necessary to have a deeper and broader force to wash the hole.
No matter how gorgeous the words are, they are only like flying flowers touching the water, and our lives still need some moments to witness some reality.
This requires wisdom to support.
From poetry appreciation to Tibet, there is no deviation or digression, both of which are topics that I have always been interested in. It will be interspersed with writing, showing the feelings of different dimensions of the heart.
Over the years, my travels in the border areas have allowed me to see the ancient nature outside the city and more deeply appreciate the heart of the ancients and the feelings of the past.
Along the way, there is no turmoil, no displacement. Fortunately, I played in the red dust, met a lot of love and joy, but did not lose my original renunciation.
This decade is the decade of my true youth and freedom. I know in my heart what I am, what I want, what I want to do. There is a free mind, an independent personality, even if they are still perfected, but they are free, this is the real freedom.
Six
Such indulgence and not willfulness is the youth I have been waiting for for a long time. Now is the best time, we are still young, not yet old, can love, can make mistakes, can regret, can also start again. There is passion in the heart, but not reckless. There is faith in the heart, and there is willingness to take responsibility outside the body. There is no grievance in a place, and the trek through the mountains and rivers is full of interest. Some people are not afraid to be companions, and no one is not alarmed.
Thousands of mountains and rivers, play and play, the heart is like a child, no doubt is not afraid.
No matter what others think, I always feel that the place of birth and nourishment is the hometown, and the place of spiritual refuge should be the hometown. There is nothing wrong with the peaceful joy of the twilight, the soft care of the heart.
Like a shepherd traveling far, walk through the bustling city and return to a familiar place.
Seeing the snow fall on my shoulders, tears filled my eyes.
Beyond a thousand mountains is my hometown, Tibet.
Writer An Yiru
Post-80s writer
The works are moving with their text
The wording is clear and clear, and it is not old-fashioned and dull
Reading a cup of green tea, the aftertaste is long, and the afterglow is lingering
It is unique and has a wide influence because of the appreciation of classical poetry
Private Labels:
| Writing practice | The heart of escape is |
| Impermanence travels | Poetry and tea coincide with | |, Yunnan, Tibet
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"Beyond a thousand mountains,
It represents the vast distance of life,
It also represents the snowy plateau.
Beyond the Thousand Mountains is my hometown of Tibet,
Tibet is not only mine, but also everyone's.
It belongs to all lovers of the soul culture,
A crowd that longs to get a supernatural mind. ”
- An Yiru
This article is edited by Shicizg
Poetry love patient concentration camp, little poetry sister welcomes you.