Watching the Olympic Games, I suddenly remembered Chen Mei.
When we were young, Chen Mei appeared as a "genius violinist": she was on stage, wearing a very narrow and extremely short skirt, playing the violin feverishly, the wind was blowing, and her hair was flying all over the sky.
June 30, 1997: As a foreign artist, she was invited to participate in the "Hong Kong Handover Concert" organized by the SAR. Play your own special "Happy Valley Overture" at the concert.
She was 19 years old.
When I saw her name again, it was already the 2014 Winter Olympics, and she represented Thailand in the Women's Giant Slalom.
From musicians to Olympians, it's really eye-popping.
Born in Singapore in 1978, Chen Mei's biological father is Thai and her mother is Chinese, named Chen Xiaoluan.
When Chen Mei was three years old, her parents divorced, and at the age of five, her mother remarried an Englishman, and Chen Mei has lived and studied in London ever since, with dual British and Thai nationality.
First of all, Chen Xiaoluan, she is a strange woman.
Chen Xiaoluan was born in Beijing in 1959 and went to Singapore with his parents.
At the age of eighteen, Chen Xiaoluan fell in love in his freshman year. The other was Thai, had a history of marriage, and was more than ten years older than her. Men know how to chase girls very well, in order to give Chen Xiaoluan a romantic love, he will even decorate the entire floor with roses, so that Chen Xiaoluan feels that he is in the sea of roses.
Chen Xiaoluan's parents did not agree to their interaction, but Chen Xiaoluan, who was self-sufficient, insisted on going his own way and married him. And soon after marriage, she became pregnant, and she went to school every day with a big belly.
This made the school very embarrassed, because it felt that pregnant women were incompatible with campus life, but because Chen Xiaoluan was not an unmarried child, she could not be withdrawn from school.
At that time, someone said to her: You are already married and have children anyway, and there is no point in going to college.
Chen Xiaoluan did not think so: wife/mother/professional woman, she did not think that she could only choose one.
▲Chen Xiaoluan
In the 1970s, such a view was very unique.
Even her husband couldn't take it.
So when Chen Mei was three years old, they divorced.
Chen Xiaoluan himself is a very musically gifted person, once wanted to go abroad to study music, but was prevented by his family, instead of studying a more pragmatic legal profession, and later became a lawyer.
But she never gave up on music.
After the divorce, she hosted a music radio show in her spare time, so she met many European musicians who came to Singapore to give concerts, and Chen Mei was also affected by a lot of music.
When Chen Mei was three years old, Chen Xiaoluan discovered Chen Mei's musical talent.
Later, she married five-year-old Chen Meiyuan to London, and her second husband, who was also a lawyer, did not have children after marriage. In the same year, Chen Mei began practicing the violin.
Chen Mei was very grateful to her stepfather, saying, "He raised me and gave me all his love. He sponsored me to go to school and bought me my first violin. He has given me a lot of help and support during my upbringing and acting career. "That violin has a great origin, but it is a Guadagnini violin made in Italy in 1761, which is rare and expensive.
As a result, Chen Mei was admitted to the Royal Conservatory of Music at the age of eleven. At the age of thirteen, he became the youngest Beethoven and Tchaikovsky Concerto player in the world. Fifteen-year-old Chen Mei released her first solo album.
But the price is: Chen Mei has no childhood at all.
Practice at least four hours a day, 365 days a year.
Her mother did not allow her to cut the fruit and cut the bread herself, for fear of hurting her precious hand.
Her mother wouldn't let her play with her classmates because she couldn't escape for fear of a fire.
Growing up, she never made her own bed once, never cooked a single breakfast. Not even a single person has ever crossed the street, not a single person has ever gone out and bought a carton of milk.
Before the age of twenty, she would often be beaten, and her mother would slap her, twist her ears, or make her kneel.
At the age of four, Chen Mei skied for the first time and fell in love with this sport ever since, but her mother absolutely did not allow her to participate.
Chen Xiaoluan said bluntly: "I have paid so much effort for you to help you build your own career, if you ski and break your bones, then my investment over the years will be in vain." ”
After Chen Mei turned twelve, Chen Xiaoluan became her agent and more strictly controlled everything about Chen Mei, including what she wore, who she interacted with, and what repertoire she chose for the concert...
▲ Chen Xiaoluan, Chen Mei mother and daughter
Chen Xiaoluan may have forgotten that she was a rebellious girl back then, and Chen Mei was actually very similar to her.
The first thing Chen Mei did after she turned twenty-one (the adult age in Britain) was to unilaterally announce the dismissal of her mother, Chen Xiaoluan, as an agent.
Chen Mei's explanation is: "I hope that my mother is just a mother to me, and our relationship can be more pure." Well, the best thing to do is to separate and live independently... I often wonder if I would still be so special in her eyes if I didn't have musical talent. ”
When Chen Xiaoluan learned of this, he was furious and cut off contact with Chen Mei.
A few years later, the British BBC invited Chen Xiaoluan to talk about her daughter, chen Xiaoluan sent an email to refuse, she said: My daughter is almost thirty years old, this part of my life has ended. (Chen Xiaoluan is handsome.) ）
It is generally believed that a mother with a strong desire to control will have no master after losing the controlled person.
But Chen Xiaoluan is not such a person, after her daughter flew alone (don't forget that Chen Xiaoluan was only forty years old at that time), she simply pursued her own musical ideals and soon became a musical artist.
She has divorced again, has had many boyfriends, Arab princes, violinists, and everything.
Someone asked her: Will she get married for the third time?
Chen Xiaoluan said: Getting married is not a very important thing, and I don't think getting married is to express more vows. The wedding was just a big party for everyone to play with, and apart from that, it didn't help much in the daily life and feelings of the two.
After talking about Chen Xiaoluan, let's talk about Chen Mei.
After leaving her mother, she can pursue her dreams.
In 2001, when Chen Mei went skiing in the Isai Valley in France, the 23-year-old fell in love with a ski shop owner and moved in together eight months later.
In 2009, she decided to give up her music career, no longer practice, no longer hold concerts, and focus on skiing.
She bought a house in a small town near Geneva, got up at 5:30 a.m. every day, took the cable car up the snow-capped mountains, and skied until 1:30 p.m.
Although she practiced very hard, she made little progress, and in the end she could only rank 1700th in the world.
Most likely, she doesn't have much talent for skiing.
Sports, like music, cannot be demanded.
However, Chen Mei made up her mind to attend the Winter Olympics.
To this end, she did not hesitate to contact her long-lost biological father and changed her nationality to Thai.
According to Olympic regulations, countries without the world's top 500 skiers can choose to send one male and one female runner to participate in the qualification tournament, but the athlete must participate in five official competitions and the average penalty score must be less than 140.
Unfortunately, Chen Mei did not have the strength to pass the qualification round.
So she faked the qualifiers.
January 2014 was the final time to qualify for the Sochi Winter Olympics, when four alpine skiing women's super slalom races were held in Slovenia, one of which was called the "Thailand Youth Championship".
(Some people think that this game was run by Chen Mei's agency.) ）
The organizer of the four races is the Alpine Krani Ski Club, which was also supported by the Thai Olympic Committee.
These four matches were the Winter Olympic qualifying points competition recognized by the International Snow Federation, and Chen Mei finally earned enough points to participate in the Winter Olympics through four games and hitched a ride on the last train to participate in the Sochi Winter Olympics.
In this way, in 2014, Chen Mei represented the Thai team in the Winter Olympics and won the 67th place - that is, the first from the bottom among the finishers. (A total of 88 contestants participated.) ）
I remember at the Winter Olympics, the whole world was amazed, and everyone admired the gorgeous turn of a talented violinist.
My friends and I have written many columns to praise this pursuit of self, but also to criticize Chen Xiaoluan's "desire to control".
(At the time, no one knew there was a fraud behind it, and everyone was sincerely praising it.) Until later... ）
In March 2014, during the post-match review, it was found that all four matches were not compliant, and even on the competition list, even included a player who did not register at all, and the others, regarding the date, ranking, and results, did not match the real thing.
After that, Chen Mei's fraudulent behavior was exposed, Chen Mei's results were canceled, and she was sentenced to a four-year ban.
Fifteen years of hard work, here is a complete failure. The press commented on her: "Long-term efforts made Chen Mei unable to accept the possibility of missing the Sochi Winter Olympics, and she had always regarded herself as a high-minded person, so she manipulated the qualifiers that ruined herself." ”
Chen Mei's friends had also advised her to give up, but she decided to stick to the end – really to the end.
In 2015, Chen Mei's 4-year ban was canceled, but she still did not qualify for the 2014 Winter Olympics, and her Winter Olympic results were meaningless.
In 2017, in the absence of direct evidence, the International Court of Arbitration for Sport ruled that she was eligible for the 2014 Winter Olympics. But all five FIS officials were banned.
At the 2018 PyeongChang Winter Olympics, Chen Mei did not qualify.
Counterfeiting is wrong.
And our regret is even closer: she is a talented violinist, and there is no reason to change this runway that she can't squeeze into.
The story suddenly takes a turn and the reflection becomes complicated:
Talents or hobbies, which is more important?
If you love something that you don't have talent for, shouldn't you say goodbye sooner?
And the talent you have, can you wave at will?
And if as a parent, you find that your child has talent, you force him/her, he/she will be miserable, will be pushed by you to stumble, but - you do not force, maybe he/she will not reach the peak of his or her ability in his/her lifetime.
Is control really useless?
Will determination and perseverance, if used in inappropriate places, backfire?
These questions may be worth considering for every parent.