At noon on September 23, Xu Wei was enjoying the Mid-Autumn Festival family banquet, and suddenly the whole atmosphere was broken because of a joke from his cousin - the cousin pointed to Xu Wei's pregnant belly and teased the baby: "You see, if your mother gives birth to a second baby, she must not like you." ”
Xu Wei said that her cousin later sent a message saying that "it was just a joke" made her even more angry
Cousin tease Dawa: Mother will not hurt you in the future
On the morning of the 24th, the reporter came to an old-fashioned house near the Yonghui supermarket in Longxi Town (Xu Wei's in-laws' home) to meet Xu Wei, who is 29 years old this year, has been pregnant for more than 6 months, and is urging her 7-year-old daughter Bingbing to do her homework, "Some people say that I should not ruin the Mid-Autumn Festival family banquet for a joke, but I really don't regret it at all." ”
Xu Wei said that at noon that day, the family had dinner at a restaurant in Yubei District, and the guests included Xu Wei's parents, the eldest uncle's family, etc. During the banquet, they had been happily pulling homely dishes. Suddenly, everyone's words turned to Xu Wei and discussed the upcoming erwa, Xu Wei's cousin Xu Yun (pseudonym) suddenly pulled bingbing and said the sentence described at the beginning of this article, after saying it, the young bingbing yelled urgently: "Then I don't want my mother to give birth, I hate TA."
The network is equipped with pictures, and the pictures and texts are irrelevant
Seeing the situation, Xu Yun couldn't help but cover his mouth and smile all the time, and Xu Wei's face immediately changed.
After arguing with my sister: just play with the child
Xu Wei said that she was angry at that time, pulled Bing Bing in her arms, and loudly reprimanded her cousin, asking her not to make such jokes, and the cousin was not willing to show weakness, directly shook back, soon, the emotions of the two became more and more out of control, insulted each other, and finally, under the persuasion of relatives, Xu Wei took Bing Bing, took a taxi in advance and left the dinner.
In the afternoon of the same day, Xu Wei also received a WeChat message from his cousin: "I am just teasing children to play, as for you to make such a big fire?" Let me not get off the stage in public, I am afraid that you have long been dissatisfied with me, deliberately looking for stubble to quarrel, right? Xu Wei said that the content of this message made her angry.
Pregnant mother's voice: The child is sensitive and fragile
Xu Wei said that in fact, she was so angry, but also because after returning home, Bingbing continued to cry with her, "The child is sensitive and fragile, and really has a heart for this 'joke'." ”
Xu Wei said that before she was ready to conceive a second baby, she was very worried that Bingbing would think more, and had been doing ideological work for Bingbing, such as teaching her that the two babies could not only share their parents' love, but also accompany each other to grow up, but Bingbing, who had entered the first grade of primary school, still sometimes asked some questions worriedly: "If TA comes, do I really have to sleep by myself?" "Will he play with my doll?" "Wait," our side is trying to enlighten the child, her aunt's side of a sentence to call back to the original form, can I not be angry? ”
Xu Wei's mother-in-law said to her aunt: "Bingbing grew up as a single pet, and she was worried about falling out of favor, and adults still make such jokes, which is really excessive." Subsequently, the reporter called Bingbing's father, who was on a business trip abroad, and he believed that the important thing was not to quarrel with his cousin, but to provide psychological guidance and education to Bingbing.
How can we prevent barriers to sibling competition?
The following 7 tricks, parents who want to have a second child can compare and keep a heart.
1. Cultivate the pride of being an older brother/sister
Instilling the concept of being an older brother/sister in the child early when conceiving the second child and cultivating his pride in being an older brother/sister. You can read him pictures of brothers and sisters together, photos of cute little animal families, etc., so that he gradually develops love for his little brother and sister.
2. Face up to Dabao's "infant return behavior"
When younger siblings are born, Dabao often has a regression in life ability, such as starting to wet the bed again, eating to feed parents, repeating bad habits that have been quit, etc., which is called baby return behavior.
Behind the child's "baby-back" behavior is actually hidden the child's "Mom, I feel lonely, don't always look at the baby, we also need your love" sincerity. Therefore, when the eldest child deliberately bullies the baby or is more worrying than before, please do not think that he is a bad child, try to understand and accept the child's ideas, reduce the neglect of the child, let him get the same love and satisfaction as before, and get through this period as soon as possible. Make sure to give Dabao a separate time to talk and play with him/her.
3. Treat Dabao and reject arrogance and prejudice
Many parents impose the idea of "the big should let the small" on the big treasure, in fact, it should be reasonable, can not blindly let the big treasure accommodate the second treasure, the second treasure can bear it by themselves, otherwise it may cause harm to the big treasure. Parents must first be reasonable, when there is a contradiction between the big treasure and the small treasure, do not bring any biased criticism, investigate the cause and process of the matter, and pay full attention to the child's current situation and mood considerations, so as to make a fair judgment.
4. Try to criticize individually
Very young children also have self-esteem. Criticizing him in front of others will hurt his self-esteem. It is okay to criticize a lighter mistake, but when the mistake is a little serious, it is even more important to try to avoid criticizing another child in front of one child. Therefore, when one party makes a mistake and does not involve others, it is necessary to create an opportunity for him to criticize him alone without his siblings.
5, do not randomly compare the big treasure and the small treasure
Because they are brothers and sisters, it is easy for both parents and others to put two children together and compare them in all aspects. But the most taboo thing about raising two children is to compare the two children together.
Every child is different, each with their own personality traits, hobbies, interests and strengths. Two children have little in common other than similar appearance, and parents with more than two children will truly appreciate this. Parents have a good intention of setting an example for their children to encourage them to work hard, but this comparison can easily hurt their children's self-esteem.
6. Give two children "equal" love
Never forget the fact that the greatest desire in the hearts of almost every child is to be able to monopolize the love of their parents and fathers. If you plan to have two children, give them equal love and make them truly feel it, because every child is unique in this world.
7. Share carefully
Share toys, rooms, etc., and respect Dabao's ideas. If something of great significance to Dabao is not willing to share, it cannot be forced.