First dialysis

On the last day of October 2021, I joined the dialysis team.

My husband and son accompanied me to the door of the dialysis room, the staff stopped them both and did not let me in, and the nurse took the wheelchair from my husband and pushed me in. At first I was very scared, my hands were a little shaky, today is the hospital evaluation of the second class review, the whole hospital is nervously preparing, I lie on the bed, the bed around the station is full of staff, a look at so many people my heart is bottomless, eyes full of fear ... My responsible nurse distracted me while talking to me, she saw that I was nervous, she told me that there was nothing to be afraid of, usually there were not so many people, told me to rest assured, she introduced herself and the director in charge while giving me treatment, but I didn't remember anything in my head, I looked around in fear, while lying nervously... The treatment process did not feel at all, the doctor said that I was on dialysis for the first time for an hour and a half, afraid that I could not stand it for a long time, and I did not understand

Soon at the end of the time, I felt a little uncomfortable, a little wanted to throw up and then said a little uncomfortable, I didn't expect that the kung fu of saying this sentence made me feel so close to death! Just said that the whole person is not good, until now I can't say that feeling, at that time there was nothing in my head, I knew to let my voice shout the doctor, I felt that only by shouting the doctor's name in my mouth could I not be uncomfortable, at that time I did not feel afraid of death, but I was afraid of being uncomfortable, I may have been sick for a long time, and I have looked down on life and death... I couldn't hear what the doctors said, I felt all around me, I couldn't remember anything, I suddenly collapsed in those few seconds, and when I regained consciousness, I asked, is it so uncomfortable every time in the end? The nurse said no, because I was the first time and the disorder was... I don't understand either

When I came out and returned to the ward, I was still worried, I was really not afraid of death, I didn't think at all what to do if I couldn't hold on, from beginning to end, what I was most afraid of was uncomfortable, the kind of discomfort that made me despair

The doctor said that I dialysis a few times to lower the creatinine can not dialysis, pray

People have to go through a lot of things in their lives, some good things are good and some bad things make us bless, bad things make us grow, and coming to the personnel room is what we go through