The "Kim Sung-yong scandal" in the Korean Go industry intensified, and Diana first posted a message board on the Korean Professional Chess Club for the second time to talk about her state of mind.
I'm Diana, hello everyone.
I spent every day in a trance, and it's been two weeks. I lost 4 kilograms of weight, and recently I often sweated in my sleep, but in fact, my constitution is not easy to sweat. I'm sorry for my friends, who are genuinely worried about me and encourage me all the time, but the status quo makes them feel depressed.
The chief executive (Liu Chang-hyuk) met the "perpetrator" (Kim Sung-yong) on the 17th, but he ignored me for two weeks and did not hand over a word, and I was very uncomfortable watching the people around me get angry about it.
General Manager Liu ignored me from the beginning, so why should he care about me now? I had already guessed that there (Liu Chang-hyuk) would not give me a phone call or send me a few words, so I looked at the people around me who felt uncomfortable about it, and my heart was even more uncomfortable.
So, I have to write something. Although I was sleepy and tired at the moment, I sat down in front of the computer.
Diana Chu Duan and Kim Seung Joon Jiu Dan at the BIBA Alien Go Academy
Let's start with what happened on the first day. On April 16th, I had made up my mind to post on the message board of the Chess Club. From 3 a.m. to 6 a.m., I basically wrote the article. And there was a tournament on this day (the third preliminary round of the JTBC Challenge in Korea), and I only slept for three hours before rushing to the Korean Chess Academy. After losing the game, I asked Du Yuan (Wen Du Yuan Sanduan) and the Korean chess academy staff to talk about what happened that night.
I went back to the Korean Chess Academy, and was talking to Wu Zheng'e on the 2nd floor, when I suddenly saw several people walking up the stairs. The first thing I saw was Teacher Liu Chang-hyuk, but I never thought that the face behind him was actually "JCL" (Kim Sung-yong). About four people walked up the stairs, and I saw "JCL's" face pounding.
It may have been that my face had become so bad that I had frightened my fellow chess players around me (presumably they thought I had seen a ghost). They chased me to the bathroom and asked, "Sister, who is it?" What did you see? I was probably terrified and couldn't remember who the other two were. At that time, I just wanted to leave the chess academy quickly.
At this time, the article I was going to post was basically written, and I had already told the truth to the staff of the Korean Chess Academy 30 minutes ago, so I was suddenly afraid and quickly went back to BIBA with Kim Seung-joon Jiudan and Cho Hye-lian Jiudan (BIBA Foreign Go Academy, which can be boarded, founded by Kim Seung-joon Jiudan). It was time for dinner that night, but I was the only one who could eat, so I didn't eat. I was afraid that I would cry out when I stayed alone, so I called Wen Duyuan Sandan. We talked a lot on the phone, and I was agonizing over "what the hell to do?"
From 7pm to 9pm, I need to go to English class. Although I was tired, I insisted on finishing the lecture. Then I went back to the BIBA dormitory, and finally sorted out the article and sent it out, it was already 11 o'clock in the evening. The long day passed like this, April 16.
On February 2 this year, Kim Sung-yong Jiudan signed an agreement with the Korean Chess Academy to "support young professional chess players". After Yoo Chang-hyuk Jiudan served as the director of the Korea Chess Academy, Kim Sung-yong Jiudan became the publicity director of the Korean Chess Academy
After the article, female professional chess players wrote many, many posts to support me. Some people reprinted the article elsewhere, although the post was quickly deleted, but it was caught by reporters, and the matter began to make a big fuss. The mobile phone is out of power, recharge and then open to see, with more than 300 posts (and "group discussion"), in short, many professional chess players (most of the female chess players) sent letters in solidarity with me, and some male professional chess players sent personal Kakao (South Korean WeChat) greeting me, and the professional chess club President Sun Genqi Wuduan also hung up for me. However, the man who was supposed to be looking for me (JCL) did not move, and two weeks have passed and I have not been contacted so far.
The next day (April 17), BIBA (Foreign Cadets) was going out with the Shogun Zhuang team to participate in the activities, and although I only slept for two hours, I was afraid to stay alone and followed. And this day is already the chaos of "poking the honeycomb"(Translation: It is true that "poking the honeycomb", when the 32nd Tianyuan Tournament was decided, the reporter did not write the Tongli War Report but had to turn over this news first), the reporters have been calling, and I did not expect to be involved in the whirlpool at a loss. At noon, I had dinner with the students, and I couldn't eat anything. The female students of BIBA kept trying to persuade me to eat something, but I couldn't swallow it, so I kept running to the bathroom. When the daytime activities were finally over, I went back to Yamamoto (Yamamoto-dong, Gyeonggi Province, where BIBA Academy was originally located), and I thought I could wait until the reply from "JCL" (reply), but nothing.
By this time I had already told my brother (Koszegi Daniel, brother, in Hungary) that I had posted and told him that "it may take 2 to 3 days to wait until the response, so don't worry." I waited for a response because my brother said, "Whatever happens, he will support me unconditionally," so I had some confidence.
I went out with the Zhengguanzhuang team during the day, but in fact, I was very tormented, and some people thought that I was "happy to go out", which was really a bit of a misunderstanding of me. I "don't feel good at all" when I go out, I'm just too scared to be alone, so I just want to be next to who wants to make myself feel better.
Some people will think "it's been so long, so it's nothing, right?" But it is precisely because things have passed so long that it is more difficult to reopen the wound. In fact, before the "Me too movement" was launched, I had been deeply troubled about whether to make things public, I saw Du Yuan (Wen Du Yuan) dare to post (launched the "Me too" movement in the Go world), and met several female professional chess players before I plucked up enough courage.
In September last year, Yike reporters photographed the collective research of BIBA students in the 22nd Samsung Cup Quarterfinals Research Office of Samsung Confucian City Training Institute
It was also a very difficult day (April 17), and I was tired and tired, so I kept breathing and staying with biba's "family". Many reporters contacted me for an interview, but I refused to say "I have to wait for the other party to reply" and had no intention of accepting an interview. At night, I squinted and slept for two or three hours, but my heart was not steady, I really didn't know what to do, so I thought it was time to tell my mother, so I hung up the phone at two o'clock in the morning. Mom said that she would always support me, and she felt sorry for "not being able to be with me." Mom said, "Why don't you go back to Hungary for a few days," and I say, "I can't go back for a while, I can't go back for a while" (now I think I could have gone back for a few days, because two weeks have passed. After ending the call with my mother, I was still not sure in my heart, so I hung up the phone with my brother. By the time I could finally get some sleep, it was already 7 a.m. the next morning.
For about four days, I felt that "since something has been done", I should say something to my father anyway. My father was the kind of personality that was prone to "impatience", and I wanted to tell him when things were eyebrow-raising. But the news reports were overwhelming, and I was afraid that my father would hear the news before I told him, and that would be too much of a blow to him, so I decided to talk to my father first.
My father probably realized that I might be "having a problem" and asked first, "Am I unwell?" I said, "Nothing uncomfortable," and my father said, "That's fine, and you must first tell me that 'the body is fine.'" My father also said that "as long as the body is okay, everything else is a problem that can be solved" and told me to "stay healthy."
I suddenly became sad, "Leaving such a good family, why did I come to such a far away place?" ”。 My father, both then and now, kept saying to me, "Whenever you feel tired, you can go back to Hungary at any time." I'll help you start a new life."
I repeatedly said to my father, "Now a lot of people are supporting me, of course, I can't make everyone like me." But there's no need to worry about me", but my father was very anxious and kept asking the end. So I had to ask my father, and I wanted to ask him again at the moment.
Am I wrong to pick things up? Should I leave Korea?
Just a day later, Dad hung up on Mom (they had divorced two years earlier). Because my father was too worried, my mother called me again. Mom said a little complaining: Dad is an easy-to-be impatient character, you should tell him later.
I was talking to my mom and saying, "JCL will definitely contact me, what a meeting on Friday, and then he will come to me and say it." But Mom said, "Why do you think JCL will come to you?" ”。 Everyone else said they would "get in touch," but Mom had long anticipated that "it would be impossible to find you," which was amazing.
The first weekend after the incident went public arrived, by which time I had lost 2 to 3 kilograms of weight. For the first time, I felt that "it was very difficult not to go to BIBA on the weekend", and for the first time, I felt that it was so beautiful to do things in BIBA. I was afraid to sleep alone, and Zhao Juanyou moved to my dormitory to sleep with me in the first stage.
The weekend passed, and I thought" "It's time to contact me", but there was still no news. The Korean Chess Academy also said, "I can't contact him now." I suddenly worried, "Isn't there something wrong with that man?" "Not going to die?" ”
I also have some thoughts to ask my friends around me: Is it possible that JCL has contacted Teacher Liu Changhe or others privately? The answer I got was, "I can't even contact the Korean Chess Academy, so I won't meet in private, right?" ”。 However, within a few days, the newspaper exposed that "General Director Liu Changhe met with JCL." It's amazing that neither I, nor my mom, can predict "what these people will do" more accurately than Koreans.
People who were worried about me advised me to "eat well and sleep well", but I was still waiting for a reply "not sleeping well, eating badly", and General Director Liu Changhe was obviously worried about "that person", and I was not surprised by this, because I expected it. However, I guessed so accurately that I had the feeling of thinking about ᅮᅮ.
Many people also advised me to "don't read those reports, and don't read those posts", in fact, I don't care about those posts, isn't it nonsense that people who don't understand me are talking nonsense? Compared to those who I thought were friends who have not said a word so far, this is nothing at all.
I've spoken Korean well enough, but as soon as I got it, a lot of difficult words popped up, I couldn't understand them, and I couldn't look them up in the dictionary. Those who leave good words on the message board, those who sincerely support me, I sincerely thank you. There are also people close to me, you have silently helped me with your actions, so that I can persist to this day.
Kim Ji-seok has just published his book "SECRET", and he gave Diana the first message: "Diana, although you have experienced all kinds of hardships, you still chose to stay in Korea and do so many good things, thank you." ”
However, when the rumors appeared on the Internet that I had "found a lawyer", and when the Korean Chess Academy made "strange requests" to me, I was frightened and began to drill into the bathroom. One of the most incomprehensible is what I was asked to sign, and what I was going to sign was written in difficult Korean (can't it be written in English?). After learning about it, I learned that it was the content of "the decision of the ethics committee must be followed".
How is this possible? Simply put, or for example, this is equivalent to "let you sign up to do things unconditionally before the salary is negotiated", in short, it is almost the same meaning. Both my brother and my mother, as well as my friends in Hungary, insisted that "I must not sign this."
In the end I didn't sign this, just promised to provide the necessary documents. In fact, when the male staff of the Korean Chess Academy sent me a letter, the dry attitude of "discussing things on the matter" was very uncomfortable for me, and I asked the female staff of the Korean Chess Academy to communicate with me.
Incomprehensibly, the Korean Chess Academy not only urged me to sign, but also vigorously asked me to come up with more evidence, but the "perpetrator" did not make any moves. Later, I learned what evidentiary information the "perpetrator" had also produced, and I asked to send me a copy, but the reply was "no".
As far as I know, the evidence of the "victim" will be "not disclosed", while the "perpetrator" must disclose the "evidence" held. Sure enough, JCL is an important person, and "MINOR" can't fight "BIG" after all.
As my father said, "Is it a win, is it a win?" "Actually, I just want to get an apology.
In the past, I used to learn chess in the dojo and in the research room, but my former teachers didn't contact me, which made me feel amazing. On these difficult days, there are occasional days when I think I'm "better", but the next day I will be even more upset, still unable to eat, unable to sleep. Now that I've thought about it, it doesn't matter what the ethics committee draws. If the conclusion allows "that person" to stay here, I don't know if it should be understood as "bombing me out of here".
In fact, as I said earlier, what I want most is an "apology". Maybe "that person" didn't know in the past, then it's not too late for me to tell him now (maybe "that person" really doesn't know) that "can't treat women like this". I don't think it's a "cultural difference".
I would like to thank those who have been worried about me and supported me. Thank you.
Translated by Lan Lie