Text/Xingzhi Online Main Writer Group
With the arrival of Double Eleven, Wei Ya, a sister of the live broadcast with goods industry, is also constantly talking about. Just by the deposit link, Via's turnover in 14 hours has reached more than 8.2 billion.
Behind the impressive achievements, Wei Ya and her husband Dong Haifeng have also attracted much attention.
Recently, she and her husband made a guest appearance on "Lu Yu has about a day trip", in which Dong Haifeng said: "Couples keep private space, and not showing mobile phones is a talk! He also said: I am not an old white face, I am not cheating, Wei Ya is strict and has a psychological purity.
Many people agreed with Dong Haifeng's remarks, and they also @ their boyfriends at the bottom of the video.
But there are also people who share their own stories, do not have a private space, and suddenly they are divided.
Some people also said: It is because Wei Ya's value is high enough, and the cost of leaving Wei Ya is too large, so Hai Feng will be particularly good to her.
In the large number of cases that Fortunately knows to have contacted, couples who have not had a private space will definitely end up because they are tired of each other, but why has The Weiya couple become a special case?
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="20" >01"This man gives me a sense of security, but not just in the beginning"</h1>
In 2003, Wei Ya's friends were playing at the skating rink, and after the introduction of their mutual friends, Dong Haifeng came to ask for Wei Ya's phone and began to get along slowly. Later, after a long time, Wei Ya's mother disagreed, and complained to Wei Ya: "How did you meet a dancer, not a normal business, you should find a business." ”
Later, when Haifeng went to see Weiya's mother, he said: "I can do business", and with a spirit of proving that he can, Weiya and Haifeng opened the first store. After that, the physical store industry was sluggish, and live broadcasting rose, and Haifeng and Wei Ya started live broadcasting.
But in the process of doing live broadcasting, it was not particularly smooth.
Once, Wei Ya and Hai Feng said: "Can you make my live broadcast room bigger, many merchants have no place to sit, because they are all goods, they can only stand." ”
And Hai Feng replied, "No! You can't be special. ”
Via was very aggrieved: "Why?" I'm also for the good of the company. ”
The two men quarreled fiercely. Later, Haifeng took the initiative to call and apologize: "I was just in a hurry, I didn't allow it because I was the boss, and I didn't want everyone to say that because you are my daughter-in-law, I will give you special treatment." ”
After the two men communicated frankly, the misunderstanding was later eliminated.
In the interview, Via also expressed a similar point of view: "He can give me a good sense of security, but it is not like this in the beginning. When the quarrel was the fiercest, it was also mentioned that the breakup was also mentioned. Marriage requires a process: at first I was angry and he would coax me, then he would not coax, and then the two of them felt that there was nothing to argue about. ”
Marriage and career duality are extremely difficult for any couple. When Li Guoqing and his wife tore their faces for power, JD.com Liu Qiangdong and his ex-wife showed their love for JD, which has long lost its original meaning.
There is nothing to argue about, but also because, Via's attention, completely run to the career, and her husband is also a strong supporter. At this moment, Via is at the peak of her career. Where is the time to argue over a small matter?
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="128" >02 The love between Via and Haifeng is a special case that ordinary people can't hope for</h1>
Psychologists divide marriage into four stages: the first stage is called the passion period. Also known as the lunar halo period. During the passion period, you look at the man you only look at his good, all his bad points will be ignored by you, you will feel nothing, the other party is your ideal partner. But such passion hormones tend to fade in 2-3 years.
Then you will move on to the second stage: the battle period.
The peculiarity of this stage is that you will see that he is not good anywhere, and you will have a lot of accusations against him. Because you love him too much, so you want him to be perfect, but after two or three years together, you find that he is not what you expected, so you will be dissatisfied, serious and even resentful: I love you so much, why are you not the way I want him?
After that, you will want to reform him. At the same time, the magic is that the other party will also want to transform you and turn you into the way he expects you to be, so the two people start fighting. Behind the battle is a struggle for dominance of the relationship.
In the third stage, it is the period of introspection. No longer dwell on each other's problems, but begin to find reasons in yourself, understand your own internal pattern problems, such as what is your internal relationship model, and what kind of responsibility you should assume in the intimate relationship conflict? Whether it is possible to change, etc., this stage is the most critical period for relationship reconstruction or growth. At this stage, many students have completed their own growth and healing through the study of emotional psychology through The Lucky Knowledge Online.
You go further with each other, I step back. Run into each other and understand each other's hearts. What is the taboo that the other party cannot touch. At that time, we gradually entered the best period when you understand me and I understand you.
The fourth stage is the co-creation period, which enters into a deep intimate relationship.
The requirement in the early stages of a relationship, "I don't say you have to understand," is a level to validate your heart's contentment, but men are willing to guess.
The second stage is "I said you understand", because the man is a target animal, to achieve the goal "to hand" or "get married", he does not guess you. Women began to despair that men didn't love me anymore and weren't willing to change for me.
The third stage is slowly reaching "I don't say but you understand", because after the run-in period, a look, really know what the other party wants. Recently, there was a news that the couple mixed their mouths, the two people turned their heads and went out, and as a result, they all went to the vegetable market to buy vegetables, and what was even more amazing was that they bought exactly the same dishes to carry home. Later, the two of them were happy.
Many people are often not able to go through the third stage. As soon as the fresh period of the first stage is over, there will be a replacement. Or the second stage, no one wants to run into it, and the quarrel is a lose-lose situation.
Haifeng is more restrained than Via. Wei Ya once confessed that two people will hate each other when they meet, but behind their backs they will say that each other is good. Subconscious appreciation and acceptance of each other can inject energy into marriage. The two of them also reached the third stage.
Hai Feng once said: "Everyone says that Wei Ya is a woman, there is no need to do this or that, but in my opinion, she is a woman with a particularly strong heart and great strength." ”
Haifeng and Wei Ya have been able to walk hand in hand for 18 years, precisely because they have entered the cooperation period of marriage, husband and wife are one heart and create together.
However, this does not mean that marriage can be laissez-faire from now on. We also need to constantly inject love coins into the emotional accounts of both parties. Marriage is like a rubber band, if one party always chases the other in career and love, this unbalanced marriage will lose its elasticity. A good marriage is a seesaw, it is you who chase me, today I am on it, tomorrow you are on it, in order to maintain balance in the long river of time.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="129" >03Stars who break up because they don't have a private space are doing something wrong</h1>
Haifeng admits that there is no need for private space. That only shows that the stage of marriage they are in now is suitable for "not needing private space." Not all couples are suitable for a model without a private space to spend together.
Let's look at Li Xiaolu and Jia Nailiang. Everyone knows about Li Xiaolu.
On the evening of December 29, 2017, Jia Nailiang did a live broadcast and told fans that his wife had done her hair.
The next day, Li Xiaolu, who "made hair", stayed overnight at PGone's house.
On December 31, Jia Nailiang, who also posted on Weibo that "I know Lu Lu as a person", wrote a long article on January 6, a sentence "Maybe I am not good enough", and Li Xiaolu cheated.
Does Jia Nailiang love Li Xiaolu? There is no doubt about love.
More than ten ear piercings were given to her, resulting in suppurative infection, which took a long time to raise;
Because it had rained and there was water on the ground, he was afraid that her shoes would be wet, so he picked her up and waded into the water;
She loves hip-hop, so he dresses himself up as rapper, and goes to support PGone, and lists him...
He has always spoiled her as a little princess and has been changing himself, but this excessive effort is actually a manifestation of not having his own private space. In their marriage model, Jia Nailiang has been paying, but the other party has not given back.
In the second stage of marriage, during the battle period, a good marriage is a run-in, you go further, I step back. Instead of one side keeping advancing, one side keeping retreating.
For their marriage, Jia Nailiang needs his own personal space more, loves himself more, and gets the balance of the relationship.
Let's look at the model couples in the entertainment industry, Zhang Zhilin and Yuan Yongyi.
It is said that husband and wife will get along for a lifetime, even if the sweet two people, there will be contradictions and the urge to strangle each other. In the face of such an interview, Zhang Zhilin also replied bluntly: "In fact, I have many such moments."
When Zhang Zhilin hears the evaluation of "model couples", he will always deny it at the first time, for which he has also explained many times: "We are really not a model couple, we often quarrel over trivial things, and often make trouble, in fact, it is the same as most family couples." ”
But Zhang Zhilin also said: "No one in this world is perfect, including me, so it is already very good to look beautiful, and I am also very satisfied."
Unhappy marriages have their own misfortunes, but happy marriages are all the same. Appreciate and recognize each other from the bottom of your heart. Perhaps, just like Zhang Yuan and His wife and Wei Ya, they will also have mutual hatred every day, but they can understand each other, and mutual hatred is my way of expressing love for you, not dislike you.
A good marriage is not a flat road, but in the ups and downs, give each other a bottom, agree with each other's three views, understand each other, and support each other.
There is no perfect partner in this world, good partners are run-in, the happiest marriage is to grow together when there is peace, you chase after me, when it is difficult, you go to each other's bottom, and you do not give up.
With this encouragement. Bless Haifeng and Via too. Bless all of you who enter into marriage.
I am Pan Xingzhi, your personal emotional counselor. If you need professional help, write to me privately and know how to help you through the emotional crisis.