<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="1" > men can talk about "sex" but not "love"? </h1>
In last week's "Annual Comedy Competition", there was a work called "Platform", which was about to leave: the son was about to leave, and before leaving, he wanted to ask his father for a "hug", but he could not succeed.
After several failures, my son said despondently: From childhood to adulthood, we have never embraced...
My father immediately replied: I have never hugged your grandfather in my life!
The actor said that this is a work based on his own emotional experience
From grandpa, to dad, to son. In the story design of this work, there is a universal, true question that goes straight to the essence:
Why do generations of fathers – or men – always lack emotional expression?
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="17" > "My father, that's it."</h1>
The father and son in the work have a good ending of "yin and yang".
After watching his son leave, the father pestle wept in chagrin. The son then sneaked up behind him and shouted "Grandpa (how did you get here)!" ”
My father's first reaction was: Don't let him see (I cried). So he turned around and crashed into his son's arms. Hugged.
The ending is indeed sparkling.
It indirectly uses the "father" of the previous generation to promote this generation, and inside is the sincerity and expectation of Ming Huang.
The creators of the story clearly believe in and encourage a new generation of fathers to break free from some of the old shackles and take the first step toward feeling "emotional expression."
During the preparation, the players praised this as a "good ending"
After the performance, all the members from the president to the contestants revealed their true feelings and began to recall the story with their father.
Contestant 567 felt deeply touched that his relationship with his father was actually like in "Platform".
Player Sun Tianyu said: Chinese boys, more or less, have experience.
In this statement, in fact, it can be faintly heard:
The father's "bad words" have left many impressive "moments" for the young children.
At that time, it could even be called "doubt" and "trauma" – did my father love me? Why wouldn't he want to show love to me?
Of course, these small doubts have gradually been blurred over time. Over time, we have tacitly accepted that the role of "father" should be such an image.
Harsh, unsmiling, do not know how to express feelings.
"Dog Thirteen": The "father" in film and television works is mostly such an image
But in this way, the process of becoming a father becomes: there is no need to learn "expression and communication", as long as there is love in the heart.
Is it really enough?
Fathers, and some mothers, of course, love their children. But this real "love" also obscures, and can even be said to condone, many things -
Including the "emotional expression" that requires serious efforts to build a healthy communication relationship for the family.
《#家族募集》
I think that our father's personality is so much due to the social influence of the previous generation.
But our generation, who should have long been well aware of the importance of "emotional expression", should be like "Platform" and shout a halt to this trend of inheritance and praise.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="68" > "rarely see men talk about love anymore."</h1>
In the final analysis, the source of the problem is not the "father's office", but the "male" growth experience.
A while ago, I saw a Weibo post and said:
"It is rare to see men talking about love again".
Unconsciously, women seem to have become the promoters and spokespersons of "love" alone. When it comes to "love", it must be that women care most about and love to pursue.
male? I also care and pursue, but it seems that I should not be "addicted" to it like women, so free and wanton to express.
Love has gradually become a symbol of "irrationality" that violates the "purpose of survival" of men (who do not know where they come from).
"Rhinoceros in Love" (Source: BILIBILI@ Meng Jinghui in the theater)
But in this Weibo comment, a large number of examples were given of the former "male emotional expressers". They are equally delicate in courting and are not ashamed to express "emotional needs" at all.
Zhu Shenghao, who "wakes up and feels that he loves you very much", regards writing love letters as a daily routine, and expresses his feelings without burden or obstacles.
Wang Xiaobo, who "loves you like loving life", places those overflowing romances with scattered letters, thinking is what is written, and writing is expressed.
Because, "It is not enough for a man to have only this life and this life, he should also have a poetic world." ”
Platonic
Why are these delicate, expressive, and loving men now gone and never appear again?
Why does expressing love and romance become a shameful, despised, and "woman" thing?
How strange. Obviously, everyone knows that men are not machines without emotional needs, they also have a vulnerable side, and they have moments of longing for love.
But the inheritance of the subtle gender-differentiated education clearly constitutes a vicious circle.
I think this actually "hurts" men badly. It inhibits the ability of the most human force in human life — empathy.
This is the ability to really love people.
"Light"
Emotional expression needs to be cultivated and exercised. The boys, however, have been learning from their fathers from an early age, and fatherly love (being asked) is a mountain, not speaking but great.
So they vaguely "understand": men do not need to express, what they need is to be patient, silent and alone.
This is not a matter of nature, but a vicious circle from society to individual to society.
How can any human being be born with the link to "patience"?
It is we who steal laziness and indulge ourselves to obliterate some very sincere love and beauty that belongs only to people and people.
Inside the Mask
Back to "Platform".
When I first saw this work, I remembered the Japanese director Hirokazu Kore-eda's film "Like a Father Like a Son".
This work tells the story of two families who "hold the wrong child". It sounds like some dog blood, but the fact that the wrong child is held is not taken as the main emotional expression.
A masterpiece of The Shadow Original"And becoming a father",Naoyaku Rai kore "Hou Seiko Father".
Which "then"?
A man who thinks he is a "strict father" is shocked by the abundant emotional communication and expression of another family.
The director is using the story of "holding the wrong child" to teach those who want to become fathers "how to become a father".
"Like Father Like Son"
Many times, your vulnerability and emotions are a great gift for people who care about you.
I sincerely believe that people can change at any time and move in a better direction.
Try it a little bit, for specific people.
Like the end of "Father As Son":
The Father and Son, who have "lost their kinship," have gone through a long fork in the road and are still converging at the end.
Is your father like that in "Platform"?
Is there anything impressive about the "father" story?
Let's talk in the comments section..]