After a long summer vacation and home isolation, I was a little confused about my life after returning to work. I have always refused to fall behind people, and I can't help but feel a little impatient in my heart. After about ten days of night-time battle to pick up the lights, I finally caught up with the progress. But before I could catch my breath, the leader talked to me and added a big play to me. Knowing that I could not get away with it, I still struggled a bit, and finally lost, which made me accept the arrangement with great mixed feelings.
In this way, all my visions of the eleventh holiday were gone. And this year's Eleven is indeed the darkest little long holiday I have experienced so far, and there is no one. Every day I was preparing for the competition, mixed with indescribable bitterness and anxiety, and properly brought the work mood to my home. Poor my son, who had only accompanied him for one noon during the seven-day long holiday, went to nature to look at the tail of autumn.
The game is over, the award is the moment when everyone else is looking forward to it, waiting intently to listen to the results, and I am calculating, if I advance to the next game, what if I advance? Started announcing the rankings, the Excellence Award, no me. Third prize, no me. When I finished reading the name of the second prize winner, my mood fell to the bottom – not me yet! Yes, everyone in the audience saw the first prize winner crying and sadly on the stage to receive the award certificate and take away the prize. I don't have Versailles. No one knows how much I gave for this race, and I don't want to go through this pain again. As for winning the prize, I really don't care. Maybe it is precisely because I don't care about anything, I don't care, I will be confused about the first half of my life like this. In such a strange city, my energy is too small, I just want to work and family two points and one line, work time to do their own work to earn money to raise my son, after work time with my son to do what we feel meaningful, do not call me, do not send me nail meetings, do not let me work overtime! However, it backfired.
The game has come to a temporary end due to the epidemic, other additional work has come to the door, business trips and training plus "new" people, irritability, grievances, resistance, all hit, the idea of resignation and not doing it is straight to the top of the head... Called her husband and sent him a fire, then blacked him out, and hid in the dark alone and cried.
The most important of these emotions should be indebtedness, indebtedness to the son. The excess work left me with no time to see if my son's school uniform was dirty, no patience to wait for my son to explain why he wrote this question, and no energy to accompany him to lower the flag... I'm getting more and more depressed, getting more and more anxious, getting more and more irritable every day...
From returning to my post to today, I have not had a weekend of quiet and quiet relaxation, and yesterday I told my colleagues that I wanted to give myself a vacation and adjust my mentality. But today's sudden ad hoc meeting caught me off guard. There were not many major events, but he was busy with his head for most of the day, and when it got dark, he looked back and thought that he hadn't done anything in his family. My son's hair is almost long enough to tie braids, and he planned to cut it last week, but it has been delayed until now, and it has still not been cut. Last night I planned to go grocery shopping, meat, hats, but I didn't buy anything. I feel that if I don't adjust my mentality, I am not far from collapse.
There are a few passages in "Found Mother" that touched me a lot, and I have always been wrong. My only credit, it seems, is the only one who gave birth to him. Have I ever given him any joy? How many times I have asked myself I feel extremely guilty. So what did I bring him into the world for? Why do you take your work so seriously? Why do you treat your son like an enemy every day?
Recording your mental activities today is nothing more than always alerting yourself: treat your work, try your best, don't force it. Treat your family, be more patient, be more companionate, and speak more kindly.
![Colleague Big Old Lee retired. I didn't see him for two days, and I asked others to learn that he had retired two days ago, and that day he had run out of people in the office after work, and he had packed up his personal belongings alone, the next day[fig]](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAP///wAAACwAAAAAAQABAAACAkQBADs=)