Interpersonal theory: Enemies are best friends

Psychologist Adler believes that all people's troubles come from the relationships of others. Sartre also famously said that the other is hell.

Sociologically. Define people as the sum of all social relationships. Other words. Man is not an individual person, but a social person, a national, a world, a multidimensional perspective.

So based on my simple analysis and observations, I briefly summarized some of the relationships in the process of interpersonal communication. The classes are divided into successive hierarchies. You can roughly compare it.

(To emphasize, this is my self-summary, mostly from thinking and practicing, not from books.) So if there is anything that is not rigorous, you are welcome to correct it)

1 Hostile relations

Hostile relations are commonly used in war. In business, it is often used.

The essence of this relationship is actually an extreme state, or an extreme state. Either you die or I die. Zhou Yu once said, "Both Shengyu and He Shengliang", which is roughly such a taste.

But ironically, this relationship is often more profound. In fact, many people don't know that once you can turn an enemy into a friend, then he may become your best friend.

enemy. It's often the one who understands you best. It is also the person you can see in him. Only when you are evenly matched can you become an enemy. So my point is. It's an extreme, deep relationship. It can even be converted at any time.

So be sure to cherish such a relationship. For he can see deeply into yourself. If you can be better, you must have both positive impetus and headwinds. Headwinds, on the other hand, tend to be stronger.

Many people stand at a certain height. Surrounded by people who compliment themselves. Instead, I couldn't hear the real voice. At this time, it is easy to get carried away. Stop progressing.

There is a lyric called, "How lonely it is to be invincible." In fact, the essence is not invincible. It's just that the hill he's on is too small. He hadn't yet met an opponent who could really feel sorry for him.

Rivals unleash our potential. Cherish.

2 Passer-by relationship

The so-called passer-by relationship. It is the relationship between the melon-eating masses.

This relationship. Generally accounted for 80%. For example, who discussed your gossip today, and said bad things behind your back. That's purely because it's idle. Don't have to take it to heart.

There is a very famous line in the movie "Heartbeat". Too many people in this world are floating clouds. But one day, you'll meet someone as brilliant as a rainbow.

A long time ago, I mischievously changed this passage and sent a state.

Presumably, there are too many floating clouds in the world that look like rainbows. Brighten your eyes. You don't even know what a real rainbow is.

I mean it's actually quite simple. That is to say, it is difficult to distinguish between true and false. And most of them are passers-by. Sometimes even the camouflage is gorgeous. Excellent, nice. It doesn't matter to you either.

I mean the relationship. Either it's a partnership (like work). Or it's an emotional relationship. Either money or something else.

All in all. A person has limited energy. Most of the passers-by are the scenery along the way. Just take a look.

3 Partnerships

cooperate. It generally refers to a project, or a work relationship in which everyone has to be together and collaborate for a period of time.

From the perspective of time dimension, the time is a little longer. But in terms of depth, most partnerships, it is difficult to become real friends.

I don't know if you have seen the story of the Chinese partner in the movie. It is said to be based on New Oriental Yu Minhong. It's probably the story of a few brothers starting a business and finally parting ways because of interests that are no longer brothers.

So. Why partnerships are best not to be with people who are very close. It's still messy. The essence of cooperation is interest. Interests are interests. A lot of things need to be clearly divided. There are boundaries a little bit. In the end, it will not be messed up.

Especially in the case of entrepreneurship. In the entrepreneurial story of the past. There are too many such cases. The most typical is probably when the husband and wife start a business. Mom-and-pop shops are a taboo model in entrepreneurship. The root cause is also this.

Simply put. Public is public. Private is private. There should be a clear distinction between public and private. partnership. Talk about the various articles. Don't mix too much emotion and others.

4 Friendship relationships

It is said that psychologists have calculated. At most, a person has only a few true friends in his life.

We're talking about friends here. It's the kind of two-rib knife instead of a wine-meat friend who sticks a knife in the middle of the road at a critical moment.

So what is the nature and origin of the friendship relationship? It's faith and belief. Is the same as the road. So I became friends.

The so-called like-minded. That's it. Because one cannot reach the top of the mountain alone. We need partners. Partners provide moral support. Everyone encouraged each other. I think that's what friends really mean.

Tan Yonglin once had a song that sang about the north and south of the river. It's "Friends." Zhou Huajian's "Friends" is also said to be a KTV classic.

When people reach a certain age, they have fewer and fewer friends. Not many people can talk. It is even more important to cherish this feeling.

In fact, I personally prefer gangster movies, police movies, and spy movies. And Westerns. Especially that kind of brotherly friendship.

In "The Year of Love", the big guy fell down. Then go find your partner of the year. Just ask him if he wants to re-emerge together. Even this jianghu is no longer our jianghu.

The other party didn't say a word. Respond immediately. Even if they are no longer the scenery of the past. Even if the country has changed. Even if their strength is not as good as it was then.

But you know what. This is the most cherished place. That's why I like love and heroism so much.

Things are always changing. I only hope that the original intention will not change. At that time, you and I are shoulder to shoulder at this moment. This is revolutionary friendship. Great friendship.

5 Confidant relationships

bosom friend. Why take it out and list a row alone. It's actually a bit of a repetitive flavor.

On the one hand. It is a high-level version of friendship. On the other hand, we say that the enemy is also the best confidant. I think Zhou Yu must know Zhuge Liang very well. That's probably what it means.

So, the cycle repeats. It's like a ring. One extreme is connected to the other.

Then again. What is a confidant.

I feel that this relationship is not limited to men and women. Male. Various.

Confidant is. God has been friends for a long time. First meeting. It feels like a memory. Movies like Zhang Ziyi's performance will have echoes.

Confidant is. Even if you don't contact again. A phone call appeared immediately.

Confidant is. You are right in front of me. We don't talk. Silence. Don't feel embarrassed either. This is a confidant.

The so-called "confidant in the sea, the end of the world is like a neighbor". Was there a moment, like the song that Zhou Huajian sang. You'll suddenly think of me.

When the moon rises on the sea. What I feel is that you and I are both looking at the same moon.

At a time of global COVID-19 panic. What I feel is that you and I are one, and we are both fallen people at the end of the world, so why should we have known each other when we met.

What is a confidant. It's silence. A joy to feel. Because I think of you, a feeling will arise in my heart, and the moonlight will sprinkle on the lake.

A life of calm or uneventfulness. Because of the white moonlight. And with the courage to keep going.

The ancient sages said. Don't explain it to people. Those who don't know say I'm worried. He who knows me means what I want. People who understand you naturally understand. People who don't understand are just a waste of time.

So Zhang Guorong has a song, silence is gold, it is very good.

Taught, guided by the scriptures,

Now that I can see through it, I am no longer trapped,

Full of confidence, he ignored sarcasm and questioning,

Laughter and scolding are made by people freely.