Ma Zhiwei dictated
Time is shallow, years are desolate. Flowing clouds, thousands of rivers and mountains, long roads, tossing and turning on their own, want to touch the gentleness, meet you? In the clouds and fog, in all the earthly worlds, you will not abandon you. The sunset combs the window, the moonlight gently pulls, the plain yarn dreams haunt, all the lovesickness, the heart is looking forward to, where do you go with the wind?
When we were studying at East China Normal University in Shanghai, we fell in love when we were "sophomores" and broke up again when we were in our senior year. Our breakup was quiet, with the two of us sitting at McDonald's and drinking a bottle of whiskey together. "Let's be good friends." She said. "Of course." I say.
When we graduated, we were assigned to the same vocational and technical college in Nanchang and sat in the same office. We come and go together every day, very intimately. So there was gossip about us in the school. Sister Huang, who was once keen on this way, asked me mysteriously: "I heard that you and Xiaojing talked about each other, didn't you?" At this point, I explained, "We are just good friends. ”
However, since when I heard the discussion about us again, a sweet feeling surged up in my heart. Her weight in my heart also increased a little in this "we are good friends" voice. The weight finally weighed so much that she broke into my dreams. We haven't seen each other in our dreams for over two years. I know she's always been a "good friend" to me, but I'm not sure if I'll ever break into her dreams too. One day, she said, "I dreamed of arguing with you. "Although it was a quarrel, after all, I entered her dream, and I felt inexplicably relieved."
The smoke and rain were misty, and I looked for her on the banks of the vast river. The water is quiet, the smoke locks the lonely boat, looking back on the past and leaving it in the water? The rain was amorous and haunted my acquaintance in the red dust. As a result, the quiet river surface wrote a moving love poem. Her eyes were moist, was she as touched as I was? Who would refuse the tenderness of love? I was alone under the willow tree, feeling her kiss like I had in college. However, the wind willow swayed, fishing alone in the smoke waves, my heart was leisurely, and the drops of rain dew were gently put into my mouth. What I tasted was the sweetness that I had been waiting for for a long time, but where was she? I have always insisted on the mistake of thinking that I am beautiful, hoping to make a mistake to the end, but the mistake is wrong in the end, I can't change her, but the pain is still myself. The rain is fading, the fog is not gone, the green mountains cannot be seen, and the flowing water cannot be seen. I can no longer peek into her shadow, I am obsessed with searching...
One day before work, we talked about a newly released controversial film, and the ghost sent God, and I blurted out, "Let's go see it tonight, okay?" Isn't that appropriate? You still go with your girlfriend. She laughed. By this time I already had a "girlfriend" in another sense. "We're good friends, what's not to like?!" I became very determined. The sunset has not passed away, the birds have gone first, and how many losses have been outlined? Thousand years of practice, falling flowers intentionally, flowing water mercilessly. Why do you want to accept my unintentional petals, take me all the way to the raft, accompany me to the movie, and sing me melodious love songs? Looking at the end of the world, feeling her gentleness and loveliness, and enduring my willful impermanence... We sat in the cinema and had a long sweet kiss.....
We enjoyed these emotions together a few times since then, and she experienced the sweetness of love from me, and soon returned to my fiery caresses. But at the same time, we are also suffering from pain. Even in the most intimate moments, there is a shadow in our hearts. I dare not face the word "morality". She also avoided mentioning my girlfriend, a name that made her feel like she was living in the shadows. We ended a relationship once, and we all knew that it would all end. Later, she said, "Let it all pass." Make a beautiful memory of youth. The first sentence made me quite sentimental, and the latter sentence moved me quite much. Naturally, we no longer meet, but we maintain a very close relationship.
Then we got married. "We are best friends." I said, and she said.
Then there was that rainy evening, there were only two of us in the office, I forgot what to talk about and what to talk about, in short, I gradually became very turbulent, and I had physical desire... Let me do whatever I want, everything is so confused, and the noise of the world can't kill my desires. The years have been silent but have left traces of the Tao, but I don't know whether these traces are my emotional footprints or my inexplicable scars? I just want to know, did all this move her? Any one love word, folded the red dust world. Who is struggling to piece together the nostalgia that fell like a flower, although carefully scattered and disappeared. Is it really her freshness and unstained like a lotus that fascinates me deeply and makes me willing to get drunk for her?
The next day we all calmed down and had that deep conversation. "I really don't understand how you could have done that yesterday. Didn't we meet to bury that feeling in our hearts?" "Many times, remembering the good times that have passed, I can't help but want to reach out and pull it back." I say. "You only remember the beauty of that time, do you remember the heavy torture we all felt?" I was speechless. Tears ran down her eyes: "With the relationship we had in the past, it's rare to establish the friendship we have today, okay?" Why do we want to destroy it?" I was ashamed and emotional at that moment, and I said very religiously, "I'm sorry." ”
Red dust hesitated, the crowd looked for her thousands of degrees, suddenly looking back, is the one in the dim light really her? From now on, there really is no longer anything to do with each other, never hang, let each other be free?