Text | Little Tree Mom
Source | Little Tree Mom
During this time, the daughter was preparing for the beginning of the small ascension.
Discussions about what schools children should go to, public, private or international schools, are frequently mentioned in parent groups.
After 6 years of primary school, there is not much public discussion about topics such as family economics and family conditions.
But as soon as you go to school, these problems are on the surface:
What kind of school a child wants to go to, what kind of educational route he takes, and even what kind of person he becomes is closely related to the family's economic conditions.
In fact, from the moment a child is born, his education is affected by the economic conditions of the family.
Sean F. Reardon, a professor of education and sociology at Stanford University, found that:
In the past 30 years, the gap between rich and poor in the United States has widened, and the gap in educational achievements has also widened.
It cannot be denied that the gap between rich and poor families has an impact on children.
Image source: The movie "Single Parent Resort"
But what factors affect children? Is there a way for us to circumvent it? Narrowing the impact of family conditions on children?
I think that if these problems are clarified, parents may raise their children less panic and anxiety, and more calm and directional.
Early companion quality
Decide on brain development
In 2015, a research team from McGill University in Canada conducted an 8-year study of 500,000 preschoolers in 34 countries in North America and Europe.
They found that children from low-income families faced more physical and psychological problems than children from wealthier families.
In fact, this result is from the perspective of early brain development and parental companionship.
We've all heard the concept of the "thirty million word gap":
The level of intellectual development of children at an early age depends on the vocabulary they hear from the family.
The more and richer the vocabulary the child hears, the more the brain develops, the higher the IQ, and the less difficult the child has after going to school.
Relatively speaking, families with good family conditions and strong randomness in their parents' work can also give their children more companionship.
Two years ago, Wu Yishu, a national talent who was admitted to Tsinghua University with a high score of 613, was exposed, and her father turned off his mobile phone after 4:30 p.m. every day to concentrate on accompanying his children.
Wu Yishu's father is a partner at JunHe Law Firm in Shanghai.
JunHe Law Firm, a pioneer law firm in China, is the second season of the workplace reality show "Heartwarming Offer", which shoots the matter of law students looking for JunHe. In Junhe, only new people are hired, and the monthly salary is 20,000.
The parents' high income and flexible work determine that Wu Yishu can get high-quality companionship at an early age.
In a large number of ordinary families, parents are busy with their livelihoods, and it is difficult to squeeze out time to take care of their children, let alone effective companionship.
However, it is gratifying that family conditions will not directly affect the development of children's brains.
It indirectly affects children with differences in "lifestyle" such as language and material environmental stimuli that parents can provide.
Therefore, if the parents of ordinary families can put down their mobile phones after busy work, chat, read, and play games with their children... Attach importance to the child and give the child more targeted guidance.
Then, the basic development of the child's brain and spirit will not open a particularly large gap.
Lack of money and material things
Limit your child's thinking and choices
Mullainathan, a tenured professor at Harvard University, once proposed a concept of "scarcity of mental resources".
What is said is that if material resources are scarce for a long time, the pursuit of scarce resources will capture people's attention and make it impossible to pay attention to the more important pursuits and growth.
Image source: TV series "Imperfect Her"
I know that a netizen once told her story:
Her house has one room and one hall, no car, her mother is an ordinary clerk, her father is a courier, and the family conditions are average.
She didn't feel anything when she was a child, but in high school and college, she felt the influence of her parents' "narrow" thinking on her.
Before registering for the college entrance examination, the teacher asked to submit an inch of photos the next day. School itself was late that day, and the nearby 10-dollar photo studio was closed.
She struggled to find a place to take art photos in the mall, but a version of the photo, makeup + clothes + refining costs 80 yuan.
Netizens think that it can still bear, she is about to take a photo, her mother did not say a word to drag her out of the photo studio, scolded her why she is looking for such an expensive, pulled her around the street to find a photo studio.
Netizens were anxious, thinking that they had to submit photos tomorrow, and wanted to go back to review early, but their mother was distressed about the 80 yuan.
Image source: TV series "All is Good"
Netizens' mothers could not imagine: for a high school junior, time is more precious than the dozens of dollars more than a version of the photo.
Such family education has also made netizens develop a "lack" mentality:
After the college entrance examination, her first consideration is not her own interests and wishes, but to consider which major has a high chance of employment.
And Shanghai and Beijing, such a large local school that can see the world more, dare not choose, not because there are not enough points, but because they are afraid of not having enough money.
The restrictions of family conditions on children may not be as simple as "you use famous brands, I use miscellaneous brands" and "you eat well, I eat simple".
Through different ways of thinking, it affects children's choices about growth and devours children's management of the future.
To put it bluntly, it affects a person's vision and pattern.
What really determines whether a child's future path is broad is the pattern of vision and choice.
We often say: it doesn't matter if life is not rich, but don't raise your children to be poor.
That is to say, regardless of whether the family conditions are rich or not, raise children, make choices, try to take a long-term view, avoid the "poor thinking", and pay more attention to the future growth of children.
A child whose heart is not barren will be open-minded and will not be trapped in his own choices step by step.
Connections, parental patterns
Decide whether your child will dare to try and make mistakes
Digging deep into the stories of successful people we know well, it is not difficult to find that these people dare to do it because they have families behind them that can "support the bottom".
Ma Yun's father, Ma Falai, is a veteran of the qu art circle, a member of the Council of the China Ququ Association, and the fourth and fifth chairman of the Zhejiang Qu Artists Association.
In the 1980s and 1990s, he supported Ma Yun to go abroad to study computers and support him to start a business, so the family conditions were still good.
The father of WeChat founder Ma Huateng has held a number of important positions in the Hainan Eight Port Authorities of the Ministry of Communications, and has also served as the general manager of Shenzhen Shipping Corporation and the deputy general manager of Shenzhen Yantian Port Group Co., Ltd.
The father of real estate magnate Wang Jianlin was the vice president of the Sichuan Forestry School and the deputy secretary of the party branch.
Ma Yun, Ma Huateng, Wang Jianlin's tortuous entrepreneurial experience, we have heard that these former children, the reason why they can step by step to a leader in a certain industry, is because they are not afraid of trial and error, and finally achieved the goal.
Behind this is the strong support of material, personal connections and spirit in the family.
I once heard a saying: a good child is either given substantial support by his parents, or his parents are completely laissez-faire.
Parents in the middle ranks can not give their children real support, but also always like to use their own thinking to limit their children, resulting in children is difficult to develop according to their original route.
Children's education is far more than school learning, and the spiritual support given by the family is the key to whether the child can continue to pursue.
A heart-wrenching fact is that if parents stand tall, do not see far enough, it is difficult to give children particularly good advice, then you may wish to work with your children, learn while walking, and help your children find a more suitable path in the process of accompanying exploration.
It is not difficult to see that the gap between rich and poor families will not directly affect children's education.
But it will penetrate into daily life and education through the parents' pattern, vision, life, way of thinking, etc., and then have a profound impact on children.
This spurs us on: not only to make progress, but also to work hard.
Image source: TV series "Little Shed"
Every child is based on the parents' life and way of thinking as the starting point, if we stop, the speed of the child's progress, it will be relatively slow, and the parents can give the child's fault tolerance rate, it is very limited.
Ordinary families, although it is becoming more and more difficult to raise an excellent child across classes, I still believe that as long as parents have faith and keep working hard, everything is possible for their children's future.
Because the best education and life is always: life and death, hard work.