Some people say that women have three major weapons, one cry, two troubles, three hangings, and using that one in difficult times is a powerful magic weapon that can stand in an invincible position. In fact, I, a woman, know nothing about these three weapons, and none of them are used in a trance. Take the simplest "crying" for example. Some women can cry in pain, some women can cry flowers and flowers, and some women can cry earth-shattering. And I, the woman who has been wronged, or when she encounters difficulties, will only cry silently, hiding in a place where others can't see and secretly crying.
First, the past is hard to look back on.
After a day of running, I should have slept peacefully at night. But this night's hand-holding, I don't know if I touched that nerve, but I couldn't sleep.
My mind is full of old memories, I can't suppress it, and occasionally like the advertisements inserted in the TV series, King Gebi always flashes in front of him several times.
I think about what I have been pursuing after so many years of life, if it is a career, I am now middle-aged, and now I am still an ordinary employee; it is money, and now I have a salary of three thousand yuan per month, which can only be maintained in such a small county; it is a family, but I am married to an outlier, I was willing to entrust it for life, and he only regarded me as a decoration. It seems that these years have really been a mess, especially my love, which can be summarized by two words of failure, if you add another word to describe, it is a very failure!
Some people say that women are emotional animals, in fact, I am very much in favor of this, from my life over the years, it is indeed revolving around "feelings".
In high school, for love, I could let go of the shy youth image of the girl and bravely chased after my first boyfriend. In order to go to college with my boyfriend, I could have gone to a provincial focus, but I chose ordinary colleges and universities, which reduced the idea of applying for the exam at that time.
I almost went farther and farther down the road of love, and for my own little vanity, I abandoned my first boyfriend with whom I had been with for 8 years.
Sometimes it felt like living in a dream, and although he had left me, I still felt as familiar as he was, and all the time he was not in my memory, as if he was looking at me with a divine gaze, often remembering the harm I had brought to him. It was I who pulled him to my side, and it was I who pushed him out.
I really don't know what kind of person I am, how people who know me and my first boyfriend will look at me, whether I will think that I am a woman who loves vanity, only enjoyment, and loves money.
In fact, my first boyfriend occupied a position in my mind, and perhaps only I knew how important it was, and I could not erase it from memory in my lifetime.
Second, face new challenges.
I have lost too much in life, not only the sincere care and care of my first boyfriend, but also the trust and sincerity of his. Now I must have become synonymous with a scumbag in his memory. For my successive failures in love, if he wants to know, he must think that this is retribution.
I have been married to my husband for more than ten years, and I have forgotten who I am, why I have lived such a dirty life, and I dare not leave because of the insistence of my biological parents, and if I feel like divorced, I will bear the guilt of filial piety. Marriage can not be separated, because before the death of the mother-in-law, I told you to take good care of his son, I was thinkinglessly agreed, if the divorce is a betrayal of my promise.
And now the family life is simply a mess, without the husband's love, care, thoughtfulness, understanding, I really don't know if this is still a family. Does a marriage license have to tie your life?
Thinking of this, it seemed to touch my infinite sore spots, and my indisputable tears flowed out again, slipping into my mouth, salty, and mixed with a little bitterness.
The appearance of the glasses man, I seem to have a bright eye, and I found that there are still men in the world who are willing to accompany me and are willing to stay with me silly, which stirs up ripples in my heart!
Some people say that women love to dream, and so do I. Although I am no longer confused, I have dreamed of it.
Continuing to get along, or avoiding, I felt a dilemma.
If we continue to get along, as people know, we will inevitably have a long-term relationship, and the consequences will be unimaginable and unpredictable. Run away, I have too much reluctance in my heart, because I can feel that he loves me. At the same time, I can tell myself frankly that I am too hard to resist him and that I love him.
I made a lot of assumptions, I really don't know what to do next, hey, it's so hard to love someone!
Third, wandering in helplessness.
I can't make up my mind to leave him, I can only think of everything with fate, fate does not refuse, fate does not hesitate, I can only comfort myself in this way.
I was so cranky and drowsy.
Looking at the two old men on the opposite bed, sleeping so peacefully, I feel greatly envious of them, they are all this age, and they can still be so loving, it can really be said that they have done the hand of the son, and the son is old.
Think about myself, the days of being married for so many years and sharing a bed with my husband can be said to be countless. It seems that there was once before marriage, but on the day of marriage, he was drunk and messed up, and slept on the sofa in the living room. The next day I slept at home for one night, and on the third day I ran to work overtime. Later, it seems that there were several times when I lived in one piece, and then later, I thought that there really was none. After the birth of a son, separation became the norm.
You may not believe me when I say it, but my relationship with my husband, and that's the way it is.
I was half-dreaming and half-awake when I suddenly heard a knock at the door. The old man and grandmother hurriedly got up from the bed. I was a little embarrassed to see me.
Opening the door, the glasses man and his son were standing in the doorway, calling me to the top of the mountain to watch the sunrise.
The glasses man may have seen my tired state, maybe there are tear marks that have not been wiped clean, and asked me if I slept well, I reluctantly smiled at him, this laugh is a bit childish, I don't know if he can understand, in fact, I blame you, I didn't sleep well at all.
When I walked out of the courtyard, the moon in the sky had not yet set, and more than forty people formed a long procession and set out along a narrow mountain road toward the top of the mountain. Originally, I took my son's hand and walked in front of the glasses man, perhaps because my son was so excited to see the mountain for the first time, and told his glasses man uncle that he was going to be the first to climb to the top of the mountain, break free from my hands, and run forward on his own.
At some point, the glasses man took my hand, and our hands tightly held each other's hands, and we marched hard to the top of the mountain!
Because of a sleepless night, the brain is a little groggy, it feels like an empty dream floating in the air, can't tell whether it is false or true!