Text/Xiaoting Half Clear
In recent years, because of the popularity of short videos, many "Internet celebrities" have been born. Everyone also has different opinions on the phenomenon of "Internet celebrity", some people think that this is not the right thing to do, and some people think that it is normal to rely on their own strengths or skills to make money.
Among them, there is such an Internet celebrity Wang Huiling, who comes from the countryside, has not received higher education, and has been struggling at the bottom of society. She has done many kinds of work, struggling alone in the big city, but also suffering from the torture of the original family, but she has not only gained love and career along the way, but also published her first book "Grassroots Women" this year, she is a model of grassroots women's counterattack.
In her short videos, she has been sharing her views and opinions on marriage, growth, parenting, etc., she is sometimes sharp, sometimes gentle, but always able to bring the topic to people's hearts.
The book "Grassroots Women" is born out of this series of short video content, and this book also tells through the three themes of native family, self-growth, and gender relations, as a grassroots woman, how to better pursue the life she wants.
1. The first step in human growth is to have the courage to keep a distance from the original family.
Wang Huiling is from rural Anhui province and has two younger brothers. Her parents were extremely patriarchal, he was either taking care of his brother or taking care of the housework at home, if it was just that, she would still have good memories of her childhood, but she was still beaten by her parents at every turn, and as for the reason, she could not say clearly.
Maybe it was just that her parents were in a bad mood, maybe it was just because she ate one of her brother's candies, anyway, she was beaten as a common thing, and the most serious one was when her mother tied her with a hemp rope, hung her on a beam and whipped her, and continued to hang her after the beating, and finally Grandma saw it and saved her. I don't know what kind of psychology a mother has to do to her children so fiercely, and various examples show that Wang Huiling's childhood is bleak, even full of black.
After graduating from secondary school, she went to Shanghai to work alone, worked as a waiter, worked in sales, and worked alone in a foreign country. However, she did not get the love of her parents, on the contrary, her parents always called her to ask for money, her brother wanted to study, the family had to spend, and so on. For ten years, most of the money Wang Huiling earned was sent back to her hometown, but she found that no matter how much she paid for the family, she would not be recognized by her parents, who never thanked her, and only had endless demands and squeezes for her.
What is even more chilling is that her parents can take out hundreds of thousands of dollars to buy a house for their brother without any pain, but they are very stingy with Wang Huiling, and at that time she realized that she encountered all this because she was just a girl. Her parents' love for her is conditional, but her brother's love is unconditional.
Traditional cultures that have been passed down for thousands of years are deeply rooted, resulting in "unfair" treatment of rural girls from birth, and whether they can finish their education is not based on their grades, but on the choices of their parents; they have no right to inherit property, and the houses and land in the family are inherited by boys.
Whether it is material or emotional, the life choices of girls at the bottom are very narrow. They will be arranged by their parents to enter the marriage path very early, as long as they marry, it seems that everything will be fine.
If you want to live a different life path, the first step is to learn to keep a distance from the original family, self-reliance, economically, spiritually to maintain independence, through efforts to create a better living environment for themselves.
The tragedy of the vast majority of adults is caused by their own lack of independence in life, economy, and spirit.
Wang Huiling realized this, and it took a full decade for her to draw a line with the bad original family before she could hope to start her new life. She really did it, she got along with her parents in a different way, and learned to reject their unreasonable demands.
As she grew stronger inside, she successfully met her love and career. After that, she seized the outlet of the short video and successfully found her own foothold.
2. Remember to grow yourself whenever you want.
Most women will base their happiness on the basis of marriage, marriage is unhappy, I am unhappy, but often ignore a truth: no matter when, the source of your happiness is yourself, and you can really rely on yourself.
We must all soberly realize that you are the only one in your spiritual world, and you will always be alone. If someone makes you rely on it, with a grateful attitude, give back to him equally positively. But never rely on it, don't put all your joys and sorrows on marriage and others, that kind of sustenance is really hurtful to others and hurt yourself.
Whether it is a stay-at-home mother or a professional woman, you must remember to grow yourself, complaining and complaining can only consume your mind and overdraft your life, and learning to improve yourself can increase your core abilities.
In fact, it is not difficult for everyone to change their status quo, let go of the so-called face, and then use some brains, plus a little action, can improve life.
The inflection point in Wang Huiling's life was that after she learned Japanese, when she worked at the Japanese food store, she found that the salaries of the foreman and the store manager were very high, because they could speak Japanese and communicate with customers. So, she also went to learn Japanese by herself, and when she reached the first level of the Japanese exam, she jumped to a Japanese company to do general affairs, although the work content was similar to that of miscellaneous, but she finally changed from a waiter to an office.
We all have dreams, and we often fantasize, but no matter how beautiful the dream, if we don't put it into action, it is all a fantasy.
Even Lu Xun said: Just saying that it is not enough, what is important is to do it.
3. Live in the moment and enjoy the time in front of you.
Because we have received education such as "a woman has to get married and have children to be perfect" since we were young, when we grew up, even we felt as if we were inferior if we were old and did not get married, in fact, whether it was single or married, it was just a different way of life.
In fact, loneliness is the norm in life, not that if you have a husband and children, you will not be lonely. There is only one way to drive away loneliness, that is, to enrich your spiritual world, to have something to do, to look forward to, and to have dreams.
Mr. Lu Xun once said: Hide in a small building to become unified, and manage him in winter, summer, and spring and autumn. "Xiao Lou" represents your own spiritual world, if you really like things and are willing to work hard for it every day, then you are actually a person with a rich heart.
You have to understand that the purpose of all effort is to achieve a happy life, happiness and success are defined by yourself and need to be explored by yourself, but it must be the pleasure and satisfaction that breeds within you. It's not about whether you have love, marriage, a house, a car or something external.
Many people do not understand this truth, only know to blindly pursue the fullness brought by material things, get married for the sake of marriage, and buy a house for the sake of buying a house, but they have not experienced heartfelt happiness from this process.
The author of this book, Wang Huiling, is nearly forty years old, although she has found her own foothold and has a husband with harmonious feelings, they have not bought a house and a car, nor do they have to have a child, but they are happy and happy.
Everyone's definition of life is different, and their perception of happiness is also different, but no matter what, if you want to get a truly happy life, you can keep learning, maintain your love for life, and know how to live in the moment.
When you don't dwell on the past, don't worry about the future, and focus only on what's going on in the moment, you're a happy person.
Finally, let's sort out several turning points in Wang Huiling's life.
At the age of 19, she "escaped marriage" from the depths of the mountains to Shanghai and began a part-time career.
At the age of 25, she taught herself Japanese and passed the Japanese language level, where she was offered a job at a Japanese company.
At the age of 30, she studied English and is now able to communicate fluently in English.
At the age of 32, he began to learn to draw, from the kindergarten level to now a painting can sell for thousands of pieces
At the age of 38, she published her first book, and in addition to running a company and social platforms, she devoted her energy to developing her own interests.
Looking at Wang Huiling's experience, it is actually very ordinary, but it is full of hard work and upward efforts, we may be higher than her starting point, better than her foundation, but there must be no perseverance and determination.
She didn't have a good education, but never stopped learning and updating her knowledge. She knows exactly what kind of life she wants to live, and has been working in that direction, for her, life, never too late to start.