Once upon a time, Luo Zijun in the TV series "The First Half of My Life" became a pain in the hearts of many women, she was beautiful and beautiful, with a body and education, but after nearly ten years of being a delicate full-time wife, she was abandoned by her husband who once said that she would raise her for a lifetime, and then had to start over in her 30s, suffering all kinds of bullying and grievances.
When I first saw What happened to Luo Zijun, I thought she was very pitiful.
But with the increase of age, after a long time in marriage, she became more and more relieved, and finally understood that Luo Zijun was abandoned by Chen Junsheng, not because she was a housewife, but because she had already turned herself into a useless "waste" in her years of married life.
Marriage is supposed to be a 1+1>2 thing, and if you can't make the other person feel this, then you can't blame the other person for leaving ruthlessly.
Therefore, today I would like to use the fact that Luo Zijun was abandoned by Chen Junsheng to talk about several values that individuals should embody in marriage.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="13" >01 to meet each other's emotional needs</h1>
Why should we get married?
If you have seriously thought about this problem, you will find that the reason why people get married is ultimately because marriage can meet some of our needs that we cannot meet before marriage, such as stable emotional needs, such as parental qualifications, such as reducing the pressure of life.
Among these many needs, emotional needs should be the primary needs of marriage, after all, most people are now free love, and the two finally decide to get married, which is naturally premised on love.
Therefore, whether it is a man or a woman, in marriage, it is actually responsible for meeting each other's emotional needs. This emotional need includes both the feeling of being loved and the feeling of being understood, considerate, and cared for.
Of course, in marriage, there will be some differences in the needs of both men and women, such as men are more eager to be understood and considerate, while women need men's protection and care.
And we look at the marriage of Luo Zijun and Chen Junsheng, at the beginning, the two were in love, Chen Junsheng made a promise to raise her for a lifetime, Luo Zijun has been enjoying this kind of pampering like a little princess, but forgot that she also needs to meet Chen Junsheng's emotional needs, but instead doubted him all day long, questioned him, and created all kinds of "trouble" for him.
When Luo Zijun is still a little girl in her early 20s, and the time between the two is not very long, Chen Junsheng can temporarily put aside his emotional needs because of her beauty and delicacy, but when the two have been together for a long time, he will eventually "prototype Bilu", even if Luo Zijun is well maintained, he will feel tired.
This is actually not a scum, just like the reason why women want to get married, they generally hope that someone can protect themselves, but if the marriage partner not only can't protect you, but also makes you afraid or annoyed all day long, how long can you endure?
Therefore, if you want to marry for a long time, both husband and wife cannot ignore each other's emotional needs, and once the emotional needs are not met in the marriage, then it is natural to look at the outside of the marriage.
This has nothing to do with scum or scum, only that human nature is like this.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="84" >02, reduce each other's worries</h1>
Man is a purposeful animal, when we do a thing, we often do it with a purpose, but different people, the purpose is not the same, marriage is no exception.
Love aside, a woman may marry to get a sense of stability and protection, while a man may marry to fulfill the mission entrusted to him by the family, and at the same time someone can help him deal with some trivial matters in life and reduce some troubles.
From this level, it can actually be understood that in marriage, we need to reduce the worries of the other party, men should let women have a sense of security and belonging, and women should provide men with a sense of stability and convenience.
Why do men always like to have red flags at home and bunting flags fluttering outside? In fact, to put it bluntly, the wife who stabilizes the family can make them less troublesome, men are naturally playful but very afraid of trouble animals, so many married men will play outside, but you really let them bring the women outside home, they actually will not. Because that is too troublesome, it will not only disrupt the original rhythm of life, but also may lead to new troubles, so they are not willing to take such a risk.
So why did Chen Junsheng abandon Luo Zijun and choose Ling Ling? Quite simply, because Luo Zijun did not play a role in reducing his worries in their marriage.
In their family, housework and children's affairs are the nanny Yaqin is worried about, Luo Zijun can neither bring him help in his career, nor can she give him any care in life, on the contrary, she only knows how to buy and buy every day, spend a lot of his hard-earned money, and from time to time doubt him, create trouble for him, such a woman, naturally, is not worth his nostalgia.
In terms of appearance, figure, and age, Ling Ling is actually inferior to Luo Zijun, but she is better than Chen Junsheng to feel considerate and virtuous enough, so that he feels that living with her can be less worried.
In such a comparison, most men must have a choice in their hearts.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="87" >03, share the burden of life together</h1>
Nowadays, everyone's life pressure is getting more and more intense, and for most families, it is still difficult to support a family alone. Therefore, many people get married in fact, it is impossible to avoid the phenomenon of "partnering to live a life", two people work hard, it is always relatively easy than one person's effort.
Therefore, most people actually hope that their marriage partners can share the burden of life with themselves. Even if you can't make money, at least you have to have the ability to solve some problems in each other's lives, so that the other party has less pressure and feels the beauty of life more.
For Chen Junsheng, his income can provide favorable conditions for the family, so what he needs is not Luo Zijun to earn money with him to support the family, but to face other problems in life together.
For example, when he encounters difficulties in his work, he can be emotionally supported; for example, he can take care of his family and children, so that he has no worries; such as becoming cultivated, the child is smart and good at learning, so that he feels face; for example, he can help him take care of his parents, let his parents live happily, and so on.
However, all of this, Luo Zijun almost did not do. She spends a lot of money to buy all kinds of designer clothes, bags, shoes, but her words and deeds always reveal a kind of vitriol and vulgarity; she wants her whole family to participate in various summer camps and winter camps, but the children do not grow up to make their parents proud.
As some netizens said, Chen Junsheng married Luo Zijun, not only to raise her, but also to raise her mother's family, Luo Zijun's mother and sister are like moths, so that their lives can not be safe.
Let me ask you, how can such a marriage last?
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="89" >04, Summary: Don't let yourself be a "waste" in marriage</h1>
Seeing this, I think everyone has already understood that the reason why Luo Zijun was abandoned by Chen Junsheng is because she has already become a "wasted person" in her marriage with Chen Junsheng.
Emotionally, she does not understand Chen Junsheng's hardships, spends a lot of money, and often thinks all kinds of wild thoughts, all kinds of speculations, which will make men feel that they are just a cash machine at home to a certain extent, and they are bored. Once this feeling germinates, the feelings between husband and wife naturally become estranged.
In taking care of the family, housework, children are all done by the nanny, Luo Zijun does not have to worry at all, plus the child grows up slowly, the dependence on the mother is getting smaller and smaller, in this regard, her value is actually not as good as the nanny. Some men may even feel that a woman is actually a burden, because her presence increases the work of the nanny, and he needs to pay the nanny a higher salary.
In terms of sharing the burden of the family, Luo Zijun is completely unable to mention, and even she herself is the burden of the family, the shoes, clothes and bags are all brand-name, and the monthly expenditure is estimated to be the largest part of the family. Not only did he not share the burden with the other party, but he also added a lot of weight to the other party.
If a person does not meet these three points in marriage, then he is equivalent to a "wasted person" in this marriage, just like there is no filial piety in front of the bed for a long time, let alone two people who are not related by blood, how can they always raise you in vain?
Therefore, if you want to have a more stable marriage, you can't let yourself become a "wasted person" in marriage, only if you still have value in a marriage, you will not become the one who is abandoned in marriage.
In fact, all relations in the world are like this. Only when you still have value will you not become the one who is abandoned!
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Author: Yong-Sunshine, with simple words, the truth of emotion. I would like to use words to accompany you to understand the various feelings of the world.