Often, students come to consult me with a question: Teacher, why are girls so difficult to chase now?
Is this really the case? In fact, from another point of view, from the beginning of the era of the last century to the present, which era of girls are easy to chase? Obviously, whether it was in the past or now, the difficulty coefficient of chasing girls has not changed much. For most boys, girls are really difficult to chase. Because they do not understand the skills of love, even to attract girls are in a confused state, like a headless fly, can not find the direction. But there are still a few boys who have mastered the right love skills, and for them, attracting girls is an easy and pleasant thing.
1. Fear of difficulties
Girls are difficult to chase, in fact, it is only the illusion of some inferior boys, that is to say, as long as you are an inferior person, then when chasing girls, there will be the illusion that girls are difficult to chase.
From the perspective of emotional needs, both men and women, as long as they reach a certain age, will long for love, yearn for love, and hope to receive attention from the excellent opposite sex, which will not change whether it was in the past, now, or in the future. Therefore, if you want to attract girls, you must have enough self-confidence, and at the same time, you must have a certain charm, and there will be girls who will be attracted to you.
Some psychologists have done professional experiments, and the results show that a boy with low self-esteem, whether in terms of career or in terms of attracting girls, has a general emotion, which is the fear of difficulties. It is because of the fear of difficulties that greatly hinders their success, because it is difficult to succeed in doing anything, which in turn exacerbates their inferiority complex, which leads to a vicious circle.
So, how does the fear of difficulties arise? This is closely related to a person's upbringing and what he experiences. That is to say, if a person in the process of growth, lack of successful experience, will fall into self-denial and self-doubt, when doing things, as long as they encounter a little difficulty and setbacks will immediately fall into the fear of failure again, if this negative emotion can not be eliminated in time, they will subconsciously choose to escape, over time will fall into the dead cycle of failure, inhibiting the play of personal potential.
That is to say, if you have always thought that girls are difficult to chase, then the reason for your delusion is often because you have never successfully chased girls, lack of successful experience, resulting in serious doubts about your ability and charm.
The result of this self-denial and self-doubt is that when they meet the girl they like, they often think of failure before they start chasing, so it is difficult to make up their minds, and it is difficult for girls to feel your sincerity, and ultimately strengthen the recognition that girls are difficult to chase.
In fact, when a person has a fear of difficulties in the pursuit of girls, they themselves are often unconscious, but will set very high goals for themselves, such as the pursuit of those excellent girls with high appearance, strong ability and great charm, so that the probability of failure will be greatly increased, thus further strengthening their fear of difficulties, and eventually falling into a dead cycle.
2, whether girls are easy to chase, depends on personal confidence and charm
Many men will throw the pot to girls after they are unsuccessful in pursuing them. For example: girls are too materialistic, they like those who have money; girls are a beautiful dog, they like those handsome, etc., but the truth is that these factors are not the root cause of your inability to catch girls.
Psychologically, there is such a probability that whether a boy can attract a girl depends largely on the energy field of two people. To put it simply, if the energy fields of two people are balanced with each other, or if the energy field of boys is higher than that of girls, then the probability that boys can successfully attract girls is particularly large.
So what is an energy field? This is actually a relatively abstract concept, which we can simply understand as self-confidence and personal charm.
Some brothers may also say that you are very confident and attractive, you have a good job, a stable high salary, and the boss and customers also like you, which is indeed enough to show that you are a good employee. But remember that on different occasions, your own confidence and charm are not the same.
For example: you are a very decisive person at work, you are the most capable and productive in the company, and you are undoubtedly a capable and quite good person in the company.
But if that's when you put you in the ring, let you play against professional fighters. At this time, you obviously have no self-confidence, if wise, you can directly choose to surrender, otherwise you will only be beaten. So the confidence you show at work and your confidence in the ring are not at all the same level.
Therefore, if you want to show the confidence you should have when pursuing girls, you must know how to learn and master the correct love skills, and constantly accumulate your experience in chasing girls.
Of course, that's not to say you're going to be an abusive scumbag. It's about allowing you to overcome the fear you're having when you're chasing girls. And want to do this is also very simple, the first step is to expand their own circle of friends, to meet more high-quality and excellent female friends, so that down, when you face the girl you like, you will no longer have the fear of difficulties, naturally will no longer feel that girls are difficult to chase.
3, the taboo of chasing girls do not touch
Of course, if you have recognized your fear of difficulties and successfully overcome this illusion that has always plagued you, this does not mean that you can succeed every time you pursue girls, because if you are not sincere and brave enough, it is difficult to impress girls. After all, the current society is so realistic, it is impossible to just say a few sweet words on your lips, and girls will fall. Also, when pursuing girls, some taboos can not be touched.
The goal cannot be set too high
When many brothers are still single, they will set themselves a goal, such as: to look good, to be in good shape, to be versatile and so on. But when love really comes, we must also realize that the lover in reality may be completely different from the lover in our fantasy, and if we really want to harvest a love, we must accept reality, accept each other's imperfections, and cherish your time together.
To put it bluntly, if we really want to harvest a love, we must feel and accept a girl who can make you feel love from a perceptual point of view. Otherwise, if we have to cling to the high goals we set, then the end result may be to end up alone.
Don't be too hasty
Even if you show your confidence in front of the girl you like, it doesn't mean that you will definitely be together. If the two of you don't get together at all, or even talk together, then no matter how confident you are, it won't do much for girls. Because the vast majority of girls are emotional, they will only have a good feeling for men who have feelings for themselves.
So, if you want to pursue a girl, then you must grasp the rhythm, do not be unfamiliar with each other, and even maybe you have just met, after a few days of chat, you have to confess, saying "like her, want her to be with you." "Such low emotional intelligence behavior will only make her want to escape from you even more." Like a person, the best way is to first establish the most basic sense of familiarity and connection with the other party, and then show your value and shining points, so that girls have further understanding of your impulses and desires, and then slowly increase the other party's good feelings and interest in you.
In doing so, there is another advantage, that is, you can move forward and retreat. How to understand? Most of the time, the girl we look like very much at first glance, after a long time of contact and understanding her situation, you may find that you don't really like her so much, she is not as good as you think, and she is not as amazing as when you first saw her. So, in a situation like this, it's easy for you to quit. Otherwise, if you have given the hot love period, and after getting to know each other in depth, only to find that the other party is not your dish at all, and you want to quit, this is completely a waste of each other's time and energy, and your approach is no different from that of a scumbag.
Today's dry goods sharing, here is the end, like friends can click a concern, forward it, so that more people with emotional confusion can love freely. If you have any emotional problems to consult, you can also private message counseling, so that your love road is no longer confused!!