Pull me out and chop it up! ——Huang Zu roared angrily. You Heng smiled dismally: It's over! You may be going to pick up a box lunch today! Is he lao tzu born sharp? Or is it the day after tomorrow to raise the bar to die? I'm afraid even You Heng himself can't tell.
You Heng was not ordinary when he was born, other babies cried when they were hungry, cried when they had enough milk, and cried when they couldn't see a beautiful nurse. Xiao Youheng was very irritable, he wrapped himself in diapers and climbed out of the delivery room, although he was lifted back again.
Since he was a child, you have been very self-righteous, and after going to school, you have been more studious and eager to learn, and you have been a bully in learning all the way. The so-called "belly has poetry and bookish self-glory", as the captain of the school debate team, You Heng often quotes scriptures to spray the opposing players into doubtful life.
You Heng looked down on most of the people around him, thinking that they were stupid and preferred to be smart. You Heng, who is intelligent and extremely eloquent, has the capital of "people who do not take people lightly and foolishly".
In the early years of Jian'an, Cao Cao blackmailed Tianzi to order the princes, and Liu Bei was beaten by Yuan Shu and Lü Bu to hide in Cao Cao's house as long-term workers. At a time of chaos, many schools are closed. You Heng, like the celebrities of the world at that time, wandered to Xudu to show his ambitions.
You Heng carved a cover letter on the wooden board, and did not find a job until the wooden board was bald. Although his life was poor, he became famous in the cultural and entertainment circles of Xudu. You Heng's poems and songs are written beautifully, but he can only watch as the people who came later than him were picked up by the gold lord.
That year, You Heng was just twenty years old. This talented man who had been unwilling since childhood tasted the taste of loss for the first time, and he did not learn to lower his posture, but instead became a small bar spirit with no mouth.
Someone recommended him to go to Chen Qun or Sima Lang to go to work, and You Heng said dismissively: "How can the goods that kill pigs and sell meat match me!" ”
Someone recommended him to meet Xun Yu or Zhao Rong, and You Heng smiled and said, "If Xun Wen is born with a donkey face, it is most suitable for a professional mourning group." Zhao Zhichang's wine bag and rice bag were only equipped with a back kitchen. ”
In fact, people with poisonous mouths often have no intentions. You Heng only wanted to brush up on the sense of existence in the lost reality, but chose the most deadly way to raise the bar.
You Heng's cannon almost sprayed Xu Ducheng to the sky, and many people suspected that he had been bitten by a mad dog. Slowly no one paid any attention to him, and You Heng didn't care about it. Because in his eyes, only Kong Rong and Yang Xiu were qualified to be his friends.
You Heng sent a circle of friends and said: "The eldest son Kong Wenju, the younger child Yang Dezu, and the others are all mediocre talents who are not worth mentioning." He and Kong Rong often showed affection in the Xudu forum, Kong Rong called him "Yan Hui immortal", he praised Kong Rong as "Zhongni resurrection", and he could pour a large piece of acid as soon as he went online.
There is some truth in the fact that people are grouped together and things are grouped. You Heng was driven away by Cao Cao, and both of his best friends were later killed by Cao Cao.
Kong Rong was the twentieth grandson of Confucius, and he could at least eat another twenty years with this business card alone. Kong Rong recommended You Heng to Emperor Xian of Han, who asked him to find Cao Chengxiang. Kong Rong went to Cao Cao again to intercede, and Cao Cao said that he should arrange an interview first.
You Heng was very upset because Kong Rong did not seek his own opinion in advance. You Heng looked down on Cao Cao very much, and he did not seek Kong Rong's opinion, directly saying that his "madness" was too bad to go to see Cao ChengXiang.
Even if he didn't go to the interview, You Heng still bragged everywhere that Cao Cao asked him to be too lazy to go. Then he said in public that Cao Cao was not ok, that his grandfather was a eunuch, and so on. Cao Cao was extremely upset after he found out: I specially recruited you to annoy you, and you buried me so much!
Although Cao Cao did not have the same black belly as in the Romance of the Three Kingdoms, he was always scolded by people like this, and he could not stand to change to Liu Bei. Because You Heng was somewhat angry and angry, Cao Cao had to pretend to be deaf and dumb, hoping to find an opportunity to thwart his sharpness.
Not long after, Cao Cao heard that You Heng's level of drumming was very high, so he personally ordered him to be summoned as a drum official. After all, those who are talented cannot do what they have money, and You Heng has to agree. Cao Cao then threw a feast and asked You Heng to bring a group of drummers to coax the scene.
During the Han Dynasty, drumming was like playing a symphony now, which was a very serious and elegant thing, and conductors could not wear big pants and shake poles. All the drummers changed into their overalls, and You Heng was on the field.
The general manager pulled You Heng aside: "Everyone is wearing overalls, why are you wearing rags and rags?" ”
You Heng: "It's okay, I'll change it now!" ”
So, in public, You Heng stripped herself naked, frightening the waitresses into blinking her eyes. You Heng bowed in all directions and then slowly put on the dress. The whole audience was silent, and You Heng calmly finished typing a song of "Yuyang" and went straight away.
The guests fried the pan, it was so good! It turns out that there are hidden strategies for drumming! Hurry home and change clothes to try. Cao Cao smiled bitterly, "I originally wanted to kill his Rui Qi, but I didn't expect to be humiliated by him again." ”
Kong Rong complained that You Heng had done this against morality, and asked him to apologize to Cao Cao, and You Heng said: It's okay, I'll go now! Kong Rong told Cao Cao that You Heng was going to personally come to the door to apologize, and Cao Cao was very pleased, thinking that he had successfully surrendered a stubborn donkey again.
Old Cao instructed Uncle Guo in the concierge that you should immediately report when you came. As a result, it was not until the neighbors all came home from work that You Heng came slowly. He wears rags, a lamb tripe hand towel wrapped around his head, a mallet in his hand, and a hip-hop style dress.
You Heng sat down at the door of Cao Cao's house, tapping the ground with a mallet, and at the same time ripping open his throat to sing the allegro, the content was full of paragraphs of cursing Cao Cao. Because the rhythm was so great, Hula gathered a circle of people, and there were a few people who shouted "Woo" and threw copper coins.
Cao Cao was really angry this time, and he was furious with Kong Rong: "I want to kill him is similar to killing a mouse, if it weren't for the fact that he was a bit vain and had killed him earlier." You quickly expressed this goods to Liu Biao, and also disgusted the old guy. ”
You Heng has some talent, but his heart is really too high. If it wasn't for Kong Rong's intercession, but Cao Cao's initiative to invite him, perhaps You Heng wouldn't have raised the bar so much. Unfortunately, Cao Cao was not as depressed as Liu Bei, and You Heng was not as good as Zhuge Liang's great talent.
You Heng is more famous now, and there are really few people who can make Cao Cheng eat flies. As soon as You Heng walked out of the Jingzhou Railway Station, he saw Liu Biao and a group of people holding wreaths to welcome them. As the saying goes, reaching out does not hit the smiley face person, it is estimated that Liu Biao is also afraid that You Heng will lift his bar as soon as he comes.
Mixed from the capital to the localities, You Heng's mood was a little low. Seeing Liu Biao's loyal smiling face, You Heng held back his mouth for the first time.
Once, Liu Biao and his advisers did not sleep for three days and three nights to write a sonata. Liu Biao thought of You Heng's literary brilliance, so he asked him to give some reference opinions. You Heng read it halfway and threw the song on the ground, saying in his mouth what it was written.
You heng picked up the pen and swiped it, and it was done in two hours. Liu Biao was overjoyed when he saw it, and this was simply a Manchu composition. Liu Biao was very happy and simply handed over to You Heng the matter of writing the sonata, obituary, and marriage invitation.
In less than a year, You Heng felt that writing these things was too condescending, and he made the old mistake of raising his tongue again. The chaotic princes of the Three Kingdoms, you fight to the death, You Heng is the representative of the bar elite of "I spray, so I am", who dares to let him participate in confidential events?
You Heng began to play with the cannon in Jingzhou City, and Liu Biao couldn't stand You Heng eating his meal and smashing his pot. The elder, known for his loyalty, came up with a trick that was even more sinister than Cao Cao's.
Liu Biao told You Heng that Jiangxia was going to hold an international debate tournament on raising bars, and that Mr. Jiang Xia would be a god in world war with the level of mr. Cannon. I have already said to Jiangxia Taishou Huangzu well, if you want to go, chauffeur-drive, five-star accommodation standard.....
As clever as You Heng, of course, he knew that Liu Biao was chasing him. You Heng was lost again, and he was already restrained enough compared to when he was in Xu Capital. But he didn't understand: people are dignified! In the past, no face was left for others, and now at most half of the face is left.
You Heng came to Jiangxia in an ox cart and mixed from the local area to the region. Although Huang Zu was a warlord and a rough man, he still had great respect for intellectuals. When You Heng did paperwork, Huang Zu often took You Heng's hand and said, "These words written by Mr. Heng are all my heart's voice!" ”
Once, Huang Zong's son, Huang She, invited a guest to dinner, and someone gave him a very beautiful parrot. Huang Shoot asked You Heng to write a bird gift on the spot. You Heng lifted the pen in one go, the words were very colorful, and the guests who ate the table put down their dishes and chopsticks, and applauded one after another.
You have been worn away by life. Sometimes he wonders, is it still me who was in Xudu now? At the thought of falling to this point, I could only smile bitterly.
When Huang Zu invited the customers to dinner on the ship, he asked You Heng to go to Qinling Yibai to get some soil honey and mix some honey wine for him. You Heng felt that it was very humiliating to do such rough work in public, and he muttered a few words of dissatisfaction.
Huang Zu felt embarrassed and reprimanded You Heng in public. You Heng stared at Huang Zu and scolded, "Dead old man"! Angry Huang Zu jumped over the table to beat him. You Heng stood in the cabin and scolded, and Huang Zu, who was ashamed and indignant, asked his men to hold You Heng and kill him on the spot.
You Heng died at the age of twenty-six.