Author | A leaf boat on the Miluo River
Don't easily erase mistakes, life is not a homework book, there is a correction liquid can start again. Once the papers are handed in, they are fait accompli. However, those who are afraid of making mistakes can hardly achieve great things! Man can be strong because of mistakes, or he can be cowardly because of mistakes.
Recently because of home decoration, I registered Taobao, bought a seven-piece set of bathroom shelves on Tmall, and after receiving the product inspection, I wrote a review pointing out the problems in the packaging of the goods, and uploaded three photos, and received a call from the merchant in less than 10 seconds.
"Hello, I'm sorry to bring you a bad experience, can you help me delete your information, I will give you some compensation..." The seller's female customer service said to me in a gentle, pleading tone.
"Resolutely not, this is not to find trouble for you, but to help you improve..." This is my answer to her.
“...... I can send you a replacement piece, and then give you another 15 yuan compensation, do you think it is OK? The other party consulted with me in a gentle and pleading tone. But I firmly refused.
My reply was: "This evaluation is to teach your mistakes a lesson, and if you solve a problem like this with replenishment and compensation every time, you will continue to make such mistakes." Again, wouldn't that increase the cost? There are defects in the goods, there are problems in logistics, but you sell your own goods is not a day or two, for this situation there must be expectations, the quality of your goods is not bad, the cost performance is very high, why use such a light foam, do not use thick foam, or decompression inflatable bags. The more you want to save trouble, the more you want to reduce the cost, the higher the cost of follow-up maintenance. I'm not trying to make things difficult for you, I'm helping you improve. ”
However, I still softened my heart. One is that the seller's female customer service chattering and pleading tone, the other is that they apologized for the problem I feedback for the first time, based on these two points, I made a compromise, delete the picture can be, but the text can not be deleted. I don't need them to reissue the product to me, the flaw doesn't affect the use; I don't need them to compensate me for $15, which is in line with my values. I just sincerely hope that they will stick every reasonable and pertinent harsh evaluation in their hearts like a nail, sometimes faintly painful, so that they can really learn to grow.
I don't know if they'll seriously consider my advice, take it seriously, make improvements on the packaging, or stick to it and take it as a bystander.
This incident also led to my deep thinking on the topic of error, because people are not perfect, and people are bound to make mistakes.
How to cognitively understand errors is a science. How do you keep growing on the wrong path, making yourself stronger and stronger because of your mistakes?
Don't be afraid to make mistakes, don't try to cover up mistakes, and don't repeat three mistakes of principle, but each mistake grows a feather that can make you soar. There are four levels of cognitive comprehension errors.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > don't be afraid to make mistakes, but have the courage to try and make mistakes</h1>
Tagore said: If you close the door to all errors, then the truth will also shut you out.
Your comments are always to the point, but you are afraid to write your own articles. Why?
I heard the answer yes, afraid that I would not be able to write well.
You have a career you like, but you don't dare to change careers and live according to your own wishes. Why?
The answer I heard was that I was afraid I wouldn't be able to do it well.
You have a girl you like, but you don't dare to pursue it boldly. Why?
The answer I heard was, fear of rejection.
This topic is more interesting and can be expanded. Toads can always eat swan meat. As a post-70s, I was in that era, beautiful girls, bully girls, many people did not dare to chase, no one chased, but let the bold "toad" get cheap, this kind of violent things are still less? Simply outrageous!
Cabbage can make pigs arch, then the girls are not as snobbish as they are now, and there are not many "golden toads" in toads, but these "toads" must have a brave heart. If you walk down the street and see this scene of Beauty and the Beast, in addition to being indignant, you need to ask yourself, are you worthy of your guts?
A person who does not make mistakes is a mistake in itself. Don't be afraid to make mistakes, the degree, size and frequency of mistakes made by successful people are often proportional to what he has achieved. If you want to grow in life, it is a process of continuous trial and error, do not be afraid of making mistakes and failures.
If a man doesn't succeed, it's because he makes too few mistakes, not enough. Try to do something different, try to do something better, discover your potential, discover a better self, and mistakes will always come as expected. Only by trying things that are beyond your own cognition and ability can you exchange the wrong cost for the wealth of your own life growth.
The more people want to avoid mistakes and not make mistakes, it is difficult to achieve great things! As the saying goes: Great men also make mistakes, and many of them make mistakes so often that they almost make people call them mortals.
Many cattle people, top celebrities are saying something like this: Don't be afraid to make mistakes, mistakes are the best nutrition for people. Big guys like Ma Yun will also make mistakes, blindly pursuing the "tall" problem when they were young, staying away from their own users and "God, mistakenly moving the company's headquarters to the United States and the domestic headquarters to Shanghai; mistakenly acquiring Yahoo China, Yahoo China not only did not get better, but became worse, becoming a chicken rib of Alibaba; looking for international talents, the result was the collective death of "airborne troops". And the cost of making these mistakes needs to be filled by hundreds of millions of dollars.
The mistakes made by the big guy are far more than these, but if you look at today's Ali, isn't he still alive and well, and he has also become an aircraft carrier battle group enterprise, and it is these mistakes that have created today's great Ali. However, the prerequisite is that we can "eat a long and wise one" in the mistake, rather than making a mistake again and again, and stick to the mistake to the end.
If life is the result of countless choices, then life is also the result of countless mistakes superimposed. It's just that some people become smarter and stronger in their mistakes; some people become more stupid and go to mediocrity in their mistakes.
In a way, a person's biggest mistake is the fear of making mistakes. People who do not make mistakes, who are afraid of making mistakes, and who make fewer mistakes are doomed to mediocrity. Guo Degang once said something like this:
The wind knows the grass, the board shows loyalty, you do not suffer losses will not grow up, people in this life have no enemies, can not survive, and suffer losses early, people are smooth sailing, it is not a good thing.
As soon as he was born, the child was smooth sailing, 45 years old walked to the street, who stared at him, then he was awkward to death, this beating was beaten and scolded at birth, after the age of 25, any tribulation is not a thing for him. It is necessary to suffer losses as soon as possible, and it is also necessary to be unlucky as soon as possible.
In the same way, young people should make mistakes early.
"25-year-old, don't be afraid to make mistakes, every mistake is your income." Unfortunately, it would be too young, and there would not be much setback, and I did not understand the profound meaning of Ma Yun's words.
When I was young, others gave me money to start a business, I was afraid of messing up people, afraid of making mistakes, afraid of failure, and only wanted to climb to my ideal position in the workplace. When I climbed to the position, the bottleneck of the ceiling followed, and I suddenly woke up. So, after I went through two experiences with the team, at the age of 33 I decided to quit naked and started another part of my life... Liberate your own nature.
As Schopenhauer said: A person's character determines his speech and style of conduct. Many things are innate, and much of my cautious personality comes from the environment in which my family grew up. Therefore, when I raise a 4-year-old child, I pay special attention to his mental growth of brave trial and error and not fear of failure. There is a saying that goes, "Support the cowardly and starve the timid." Why a person cannot achieve things and become big things is closely related to not daring to try and make mistakes. Because "there is genius, strength and magic in bravery", I deeply believed In Goethe's words.
Life always becomes stronger in the bumps, and you can't give up the opportunity to grow because you fall down and are ridiculed, ridiculed, and looked at differently by others. To be like a child, to get up without any scruples, to stumble again in crying and try to walk, and then to learn to run...
The wrong place is the energy you grow. Of course, don't be afraid to make mistakes, does not mean that there is no principle and bottom line, violations of law and discipline, harm to society and other mistakes do not try, a mistake is enough to destroy half a life, but also can destroy a lifetime.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > don't try to cover up your mistakes</h1>
Mistakes are inevitable, and deliberate forgiveness is artificially creating greater stupidity.
Everyone makes mistakes, but only fools cling to it, turn a blind eye, like an ostrich burying its head in the sand and trying to bury its mistakes. As mentioned above, the seller asked me to delete the review, which is a self-deception and unwillingness to face reality. If the merchant will keep getting wrong, and competitors use the user's poor feedback experience as a driving force for progress, rather than trying to cover up the mistakes, then one day the merchant will have to face something that is out of reach, shrinking the market or being ruthlessly eliminated. Don't keep going down the wrong path, have the courage to look at your mistakes.
Albert Einstein once said a sentence: On the road of scientific exploration, a person has taken detours and made mistakes, which is not a bad thing, let alone a shame, and he must have the courage to admit and correct mistakes in practice.
To cover up mistakes is to only retreat if you don't advance.
People can choose to escape mistakes, but no matter how small the mistakes are not solved, the superposition will also lead to qualitative changes from quantitative changes to a fatal mistake of "returning to the carbine", and come to you for complete reckoning.
The road that life should take is indispensable to one step. Some mistakes will give you a fatal blow immediately, some mistakes will just bring you discomfort and some pain, but some mistakes will be quiet and will bring you a fatal blow at a critical moment in your life.
It seems to be some small mistake, covering it up will often lead to a huge misfortune, disaster, tragedy, do not hold a fluke mentality.
For example, some people lack the initiative to learn from themselves at work and always mess up their days. I knew in my heart that it was wrong to do this, but I still indulged in the chaotic days, until one day I lost my job, and I didn't know what I was doing wrong. When the company is in a prosperous period, some people's positions seem to be superfluous, because prosperity can cover up all problems; but it cannot cover up mistakes, once the company's efficiency is not good, when there is a layoff, the first thing to bear is those people who are superfluous employees. In the economic crisis of 2008, the company laid off employees, usually has been giggling, lack of enterprising female colleagues were laid off, when she heard the news, like a thunderbolt on a sunny day, I don't know why, the eyes are very surprised, very wronged, but also very "wronged", tears can not be stopped, suddenly out of the eyes.
If a person habitually evades mistakes and shirks responsibility, it means that he stops learning and goes to a life of complaining, and the trajectory of fate begins to fall from the top of the parabola.
When I first started leading the team, due to lack of management experience, lack of knowledge, and a high probability of making mistakes, the chance of being scolded by the leader was also large, and it was difficult to adapt at once. But thanks to my father's teaching from childhood: to be a person, you must be thick-skinned, not afraid of people saying, saying that you are not dead, you will only be killed by your own careful eyes. So I always accept criticism very sincerely, and then honestly do the review and find a corresponding solution to the problem. Once, making a mistake, the leader made a case board face, stared at me deadly, and said, "Have you had a brain in the past two days?" I said, "Recently it's been pig brains again!" He quipped, "Can you please stop insulting the pig, the pig is very clever... But you are good at this, thick-skinned and hard-wearing. ”
It's not terrible to make a mistake, it's terrible to cover it up and ignore its existence! There is a fly-and-come effect in psychology, which means that something that is thrown can fly back to where it is. Don't try to cover up the mistake, it doesn't disappear automatically, just hide somewhere, quietly become a ninja, lead without hair, and finally grow into an avenger who is not too late for a gentleman to avenge for 10 years.
Any road traveled will leave traces. Small mistakes can prevent big mistakes, do not escape from the problems that originally have the ability to solve, easily erase mistakes, and when they want to solve them, they have accumulated into a mountain that they cannot overcome and cannot do anything about.
Of course, don't be angry about mistakes, and there's no need to be depressed because of your mistakes, but you can't easily erase mistakes, especially the things that make you feel pain and burn in your heart.
< h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > not repeat three errors of principle</h1>
Charlie Munger argues: "If you train yourself to be more objective and have more subject knowledge, then when you think about things, you can surpass people who are much smarter than you, which I think is very interesting." 」 ”
In fact, it's not fun at all. Otherwise, Charlie Munger would not have written it into the book Poor Charlie's Book. Humans are a very strange species, and the emotional brain tends to triumph over the rational brain, and it is easy to make mistakes in the same place continuously. "Remember to eat and not remember to fight" is universal in human behavior.
Man cannot step into the same river, but he may step into the same pit, make the same mistakes, and die without repentance. In the face of this helplessness, people habitually use dogs can't change the habit of eating to describe it. Good results can be obtained by making mistakes, but such probabilities are not common, the randomness of uncertainty is very strong, and the component of luck is very large.
Errors in principle cannot be repeated three times!
The first mistake is the result of ignorance
This is not surprising, because it is not in its own cognitive category, nor has it been experienced, which is understandable. In this case, we can encourage ourselves to "know shame and then be brave". Especially when you are young, when you have little knowledge, little experience, and less experience, who has not yet made some mistakes.
The second mistake was to be not impressed enough
In fact, it is not surprising who has not yet planted in the same place twice. Time dilutes everything, and with the self-righteous personality of human nature, people usually selectively forget.
The third mistake is to live with yourself
The same mistake made three times, more than three times, a bit unspeakable, this is a cruel hand to yourself, wasting your time and energy, is equivalent to seeking wealth and killing yourself.
No one is perfect, mistakes are inevitable, don't be in the same place more than three times, especially those that are low-level and fatal. But no matter how big or small the mistakes are, people always habitually and selectively forget the mistakes, and repeatedly stage the same performance. Why?
Mr. Lin Yutang gave an ultimate answer: the degree of a person's enlightenment is exactly equal to the depth of his suffering. As the German priest Bonhoeffer wrote in the "Letters from Prison": Only death, or great sorrow, great misfortune, can remove our titles in the world and lead us out of the circle of ordinary life. No one wants to go head-to-head with fate, and most people know that it is extremely dangerous to do so. Only when the crisis really comes, will the inner call and the power of action arise.
However, not everyone is so lucky to have a wealth of resources to splurge on themselves; not everyone has the opportunity to be an actor, the opportunity to repeat rehearsals, and NG dozens of times the wrong way of performing. For most people, repetitive mistakes are often fatal and take half a lifetime to make up for them.
"The prodigal son will not change his head", that being said, if a person is white and young before he wakes up, he will definitely leave this world with a lot of regrets and hatred.
Mistakes can occur when you are young, but you can't take those mistakes to the grave as funerary objects, and he will not become an "antique" after a thousand years.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > grows every mistake into a feather that can soar</h1>
Mistakes can often lead us in the right direction and lead to successful results.
The occurrence of no mistakes will only make us stand still, and the occurrence of mistakes can let us know that we have deficiencies, and seek solutions to let ourselves grow and surpass ourselves.
Mistakes are a pit, but you also need to have the ability to fill them!
As Charlie Munger mentioned above, "If you train yourself to be more objective and have more subject knowledge, then you can think about things and be able to surpass people who are much smarter than you, which I think is very interesting." ”
Training objectively means you need to be the enemy of the emotional brain; learning knowledge means you need to get out of your comfort zone. Both do "mind fighting" in the brain, and it's still not fun at all.
Fixing your mistakes is a very painful thing. Only when you correct mistakes and experience a sense of accomplishment in your mistakes will you smell fun. But if you form inertia and develop a penchant for finding fault for yourself, you will definitely think that this thing is already very interesting. Because you just think of it as a game of finding stubble, just like people are used to finding stubble for others, it's just that you are in love with finding stubble for yourself.
Some people make mistakes in their work, the leader puts forward a little criticism, the tone is slightly heavier, the glass heart is immediately broken, and then the leader proposes to leave, using evasion to avoid the real problem. When I lead the team, this is especially evident in young professionals.
One should not be ashamed of one's mistakes, for the glory of correcting them is far greater than the shame it brings. It shows that you are growing and surpassing yourself. That's why those who are cheeky and unashamed tend to achieve more than those who are smart and reserved.
Hugo wrote in Les Misérables:
Make as few mistakes as possible, that's the human code; not making mistakes, that's the dream of the angels. Everything on earth is inevitably wrong. Mistakes are like a gravitational suction.
People don't like mistakes, and mistakes seem to be inherently hostile, humiliating, and a stumbling block on the road to life's growth. But mistakes don't come to you, they come to help you grow. Removing that stone won't make you grow stronger and stronger immediately, but if you keep doing this, every stone will eventually become the ability to turn you into gold.
It is not a shameful thing to be pointed out by leaders and others to your face, remove the malicious component, most of the time others point out mistakes to you, in order to help you grow, not to make you difficult.
Find problems, solve problems, and learn to have fun. Once you are happy and forgetful, all the pain, the place that torments you, will make you stronger, and at the most appropriate time, inadvertently stirring up wings will take you to a wider place.
In the face of mistakes, the strong break new ground, and the weak collapse.
In the face of mistakes, it is necessary to use principles and strategies to counter them. On the same problem, the same mistake, learn to review, summarize, feedback, learn, act, this is the best way to fight mistakes. Only by following the three-part equation of the principle of error, knowing where we are wrong, why we made mistakes, and thinking about how to solve the problems, can we minimize the chance of mistakes.
When doing repetitive things, the brain should develop a sense of pit position to step on the point to avoid falling into the pit again. For example, some people in the work often make repetitive mistakes, and they are scolded by the leader several times and do not have a long memory, and can only be cheeky and beaten to a "board". But if you finish your work, form a feedback list of the places you made before and check it out, the chance of being scolded will be reduced by at least 80%.
Sun Tzu's Art of War says, "Count more and win more, and count less and win less." Rational people do not seek pleasure, but only avoid suffering. In order to avoid pain, reduce the chance of making mistakes, make every mistake to generate a feather, and when your wings are full, it is a good season in life - if you don't sound, you will be a blockbuster; if you don't fly, you will soar.
< h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > concluding remarks</h1>
What you think is right today, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow... This so-called correctness has most likely turned into a mistake.
Correctness is a theory of the relativity of life, nothing can be set in stone, life is a combination of constant overthrow, subversion and reconstruction. Simply put, life is a negation, a negation, a negation, and the negation of negation is equivalent to realizing the "affirmative life" of one's desire to the greatest extent.
Don't try to use yesterday's old methods to hope that tomorrow will get better results. Only by learning can we solve the wrong problems and experience the joy of life in solving them.
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