Source: World Masterpieces Daily Reading
01, one question three do not know
The father asked his son about his homework, but the son could not answer.
Dad was angry: "Why do you always ask three questions!"
The son asked incomprehensibly: "Dad, what is the 'three don't know'?" ”
Dad choked and had to ask Mom, and Mom shook her head.
The father suddenly woke up, pointed to the mother and said to his son: "The 'three don't know' is - you don't know, I don't know, she doesn't know!" ”
02, the difference between stinginess and frugality
The child says to the father: What is the difference between miserliness and frugality?
Father said: Of course there is! For example, if I buy a pair of shoes with a reduced price, this is frugality, and if I buy a pair of shoes with a reduced price for your mother, it is stingy.
03, how to open the can of big fish
As she opened a can of sardines, the mother said to her son, "Did you know that sometimes the big fish in the sea will swallow this small fish in one bite?" The son asked, "How do the big fish open the can?" ”
04. Family law
Son: "The teacher said. It is also illegal for a father to beat his son. ”
Dad: "Stupid! The teacher said that the national law, I beat you using the family law. ”
05, Dad always eats chicken
Son: "Daddy, Xiaohua's dad swims well, why don't you?" ”
Dad: "Xiaohua's dad always eats fish, so he can swim." Dad I don't eat fish very often, how can I swim? ”
Son: "But, Dad, you always eat chicken, will you lay eggs?" ”
06, glasses are larger than eyes
Ah Fu's grandfather always wore reading glasses whenever he read a book and a newspaper. Ah Fu asked him, "Grandpa, when you read and write, why do you always wear glasses?"
Grandpa replied, "Because I can see more clearly." ”
Ah Fu thought for a moment and said, "Ah. I know, because glasses are bigger than eyes. ”
07、 "History"
Son: "Daddy, what is the Chronicle of History?"
Dad: "Stupid, rote memorization is rote memorization, can't be flexible to master, understand!" ”
08, I scared away
Father: "Xiaoming, take a question for you: There are two birds in the tree, kill one, and how many?"
Bob: "One." ”
Father: "Stupid! That bird isn't scared away yet! Ask you again a simple question, and if the answer is not right, be careful with your ass! Listen: You're the only one in the room, I'm in again, how many people are there?"
Bob: "One. ”
Father: "How come it's still one?"
Bob: "I scared away." ”
09, extra
The teacher assigns homework and asks the students to use the word "extra" to make up sentences.
Little Three wouldn't ask Dad. Dad thought for a moment and said, "Write like this: 'Write on the checkered paper, you won't write Yu to the extra.' ”
10, it doesn't matter
Son: "Dad, the cholesterol of pig offal is very high, you can't eat anymore." ”
Father: "It's okay, I have inositol tablets." ”
Son: "You're so fat, don't eat fat meat." ”
Father: "It doesn't matter. I have slimming tea. ”
Son: "You have to strengthen your body, otherwise..."
Father: "Why are you so wordy that you make people angry?" Don't you know that my blood pressure is high again these days?"
Son: "It doesn't matter, you have a compound antihypertensive spirit!" ”
11. What should I do?
The father and daughter go to the movies together. The father leaned over to his daughter next to him and whispered, "I let go of a long but silent fart, what should I do now?" ”
The daughter replied, "Dad, you replaced the hearing aid battery first!" ”
12. Green cabbage worms
Bob: Dad, are the green worms delicious?
Father: Didn't I tell you not to mention these disgusting things during meals?
Mom: Xiaoming, why are you asking this question?
Bob: Because I just saw one on the lettuce that my dad ate, but now it's gone.
13. Blood type
To this day, no one knows my blood type. In all the forms I grew up with, my father filled in "red" for my blood type.
14. Father and son
The father sent his son to bed. Five minutes later, the boy screamed, "Daddy, can you give me a glass of water?" ”
Dad said, "No, go to bed." ”
A minute later, the boy screamed again, "Daddy, can you give me a glass of water?" ”
Dad said, "You scream again and I'll come over and spank your ass!" ”
After a while, "Dad, when you come over and spank my ass, can you bring me a glass of water?" ”
15. How much does it cost to get married?
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" ”
"I don't know, son, until now I'm still paying for it."
16. Make a phone call
My daughter had been on the phone for about half an hour and finally hung up. The father said, "Huh? This time the talk is very short, you usually play for 2 hours, why this time? The daughter replied, "I made the wrong call." ”
17. Dubbing
The teacher called: "You said that Xiaoming had a cold and couldn't come to school today, right?" Who are you? ”
Bob: "It's my dad."
18. Quit drinking
In an attempt to persuade his young son to quit the habit of drinking, a father put a bug into a glass of water and another worm into a cup of pots. The bugs in the water were still alive, and the bugs in the second pot soon curled up to death.
"Well, son," the father asked, "do you understand what is the point of seeing this?" ”
"Hmm! Dad, this shows that if you drink, you won't have bugs in your stomach! ”
Editor:Ticesmall
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