Some people lack love in childhood, or encounter some unpleasant things in the process of growing up, so that they maintain a strong guard against human nature in adulthood, they can play with others, and others can easily get happy when they get along with them.
However, they do not go into the hearts of others, nor do they allow others to enter their own hearts.
Such people are very insecure, and their hearts are actually desperate for someone to warm themselves.
There is a person who can go into their inner world to heal those wounds, but because they are afraid of being betrayed after trust, trust is followed by deception, so even if they desire, it is difficult for them to choose to believe.
Falling in love with such people, as long as they accept it, it means a lifetime, but the key lies in how we can enter each other's inner world.
Psychological research has shown that there is a way to help you get into the depths of a man's heart, and this method is to cultivate your own empathy.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="7" what is empathy in > emotional psychology? </h1>
When some people watch a movie, if they encounter a touching plot, they will associate themselves with the person in the story, and cry together with the characters.
That is to say, a manifestation of empathy, to extend their way of life to the lives of others in another form, is an emotional infection, but also a kind of empathy.
Rogers, the founder of humanism, once defined empathy as follows: "Empathy refers to the ability to penetrate into the subjective world of others and understand their feelings. Thinking about things from someone else's perspective means entering the private cognitive world of others and being fully grounded in it. ”
In love, or in marriage, being able to empathize with others is actually the third ability we need to have in dealing with feelings.
Empathy can help us better and deeper understand each other's inner feelings, especially when a person's heart is sensitive and fragile, when a person's heart is filled with bad emotions, if there is a person who can do empathy with himself, then the person who is empathized will feel that he is understood and supported.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="13" > how do you develop empathy as a woman? </h1>
Stephen. Covey once said: "When you show empathy for others, their sense of prevention decreases and positive energy takes its place, which means you can solve problems in a more creative way." ”
Since it is said that empathy has such an important positive significance, how do we develop our empathy ability?
In fact, the most important thing is to push yourself and others, compare your heart to your heart, and learn to consider problems from the perspective of the other party.
Just like Liu Jing in the TV series "Little Joy", she knows what ji Shengli's responsibilities are as the head of the family and the head of a district, as a public servant of the people, he sometimes has to give up his small family for everyone.
Therefore, for the absence of family responsibilities, Ji Shengli's heart is always guilty.
However, Liu Jing never blamed him, because she knew that Ji Shengli also wanted to participate in family responsibilities, but the responsibilities on her body had to be ignored, and he was already very guilty in his heart.
Therefore, Liu Jing forgave Ji Shengli in exchange for Ji Shengli's loyal and unswerving love.
In a gender relationship, cultivating empathy is not a difficult thing to accomplish, the simplest is to learn to think about problems from the perspective of the other party, do not only consider their own feelings, and care more about each other.
In such a mode, men will open their hearts and let women enter their inner world, after all, no one can resist the power of warmth.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="23" > use empathy well, is the key to opening the barriers to emotional communication</h1>
There is an avoidant personality in psychology, which refers to the fact that adults feel uncomfortable approaching others, or that they cannot fully trust their lover when dealing with feelings.
This is due to the fact that in their early years their parents tended to treat them in a demanding, critical and indifferent way, it is worth such people who do not know what it is like to be loved.
If, in this world, there can be a person who can walk through layers of obstacles just to warm themselves, then no matter what, we will not live up to each other's affection, after all, such warmth is too rare.
When a man is empathetic to a woman, then when he is tired of everything, when he feels lonely and helpless in his heart, he will think of the other person first.
Thinking that the other party is always with them, and wanting the other party to live somewhere in the world at this moment, then their hearts will ignite motivation and they will be willing to bear everything.
The existence of a woman with empathy is very important for men, and love can not only allow people to experience the beauty in it, but also open barriers, open a person's long-sealed heart, and let him learn to embrace love.
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Author | Psychological counselor Fu Dongsheng
The main writer of love and marriage psychology | Use psychology to analyze love, marriage, and life
WeChat public account: love marriage psychology