Today, we continue to read Grandpa, We See You in Heaven.
Yesterday, we read about the extraordinary year of 1976, which left a deep memory in Jiang Wenli's heart.
Premier Zhou died, the Tangshan earthquake, Chairman Mao died... Even Grandpa was infected with "erysipelas" and almost did not come back to life.
Fortunately, Xiao Wenli found out in time, she not only invited the doctor, but also ran to the popsicle room and took ice to cool down her grandfather.
Unfortunately, death is everyone's end, and Grandpa is destined to leave Xiao Wenli.
At the moment of farewell, what kind of mood will Jiang Wenli feel?
Let's start reading today!
hospitalization
One day, I came back from school and my grandfather was not at home, which is a rare thing.
In the evening, my mother came back and told me, "Grandpa is hospitalized." ”
"Hospitalized? Is it a hospital? ”
"Of course it's a hospital."
"Wow, it's amazing to be in the hospital!"
I've never been in a hospital, and my first reaction when I heard the news was envy, and it was like traveling to a fun place.
Then I remembered to ask:
"Why is Grandpa hospitalized?"
"It may still be caused by erysipelas last time, plus Grandpa is too old."
The inpatient department of the railway hospital is in a "far away place".
To say that it is far away is actually a "long distance" for the hospital in our small city that takes several bus stops to reach.
I eagerly awaited getting on the bus and visiting my dearest grandfather to see what the "hospitalization" was all about.
Stills from the movie "We See You in Heaven"
Mom said, that's where I was born.
Along the way, I was really happy, I had hardly taken the bus, I was incredibly fresh and curious, and between the left and the right, the car arrived at the inpatient department of the railway hospital.
Grandpa's hospital room was very large, eight beds were divided into two rows, placed against the wall, Grandpa sat on the bed, talking and laughing with the patients, not at all like being sick.
Grandpa and I didn't see each other for a few days, such as every three autumns, so close that Grandpa gave me all the delicious food that others gave him when they came to visit him, as well as canned fruit.
It's good to be hospitalized!
When it was time to eat, there was a rice truck to deliver food, and I, who had never eaten group food, came to the meal truck with a meal ticket, and everything could make me salivate.
Growing up, I ate my grandfather's meals until the day before he fell ill and was hospitalized, and he was still cooking for us.
In the hospital, it was time for me to feed my grandfather, and I couldn't make him work so hard, and if my grandfather was giving him a hanging needle during the meal, I would sit on the edge of the bed and feed him mouthful after mouthful.
There were eight patients living in a ward, and each patient had two or three relatives and friends who accompanied or visited, adding up to twenty or thirty people, which was really hilarious.
Every morning after the doctor's room examination, the patients began to infuse and take medicines, there was no urgent task, so they opened the conversation box and talked.
With Grandpa's experience and temperament, he naturally became the core of the ward, not only the people in the ward liked to talk to him, but also the people in other wards were willing to mix, and Grandpa became everyone's fragrant feast.
Gradually, I became acquainted with everyone, and I also became everyone's little trick.
Just like at home, Grandpa asked me to move the heels I had turned over to the neighbors in the alley and moved them to the ward.
So, in the middle of the two rows of hospital beds, I turned over like a little monkey and turned over again.
The cheers continued, and my weak self-esteem was most satisfied with this group of people who cherished life the most on the border between life and death.
Grandpa is gone
In the blink of an eye, Grandpa had been hospitalized for almost half a year.
The hospital almost became my home. Meals, eaten in the hospital; homework, written in the hospital.
Grandpa's illness, not only did not get better because of hospitalization, but it became more and more severe, and the doctor could not say what kind of disease Grandpa had, only that he was too old and had heart failure.
Grandpa ate very few things every day, and pulled out a coffee-colored viscous substance that had been incontinent.
So, under Grandpa's mattress, there was thick straw paper so that it could be cleaned up at any time.
During this time, Dad and Mom stayed in the hospital almost every day, caring for Grandpa.
I hadn't been to the hospital for more than a week because of the final exams, and the familiar place of the hospital seemed to have suddenly become distant.
One night, I was doing my homework alone when two of my mother's friends suddenly visited.
The two aunts said that they wanted to go to the hospital to see grandpa, but they didn't know how to go, so I volunteered to show them the way, and I also wanted to see grandpa.
Finally I can see Grandpa! I miss him so much!
When we tossed and turned for nearly an hour and arrived at My Grandfather's hospital room, I was stunned.
Grandpa was tied to the bed, with an oxygen tube stuck in his nose, his mouth wide open, coated with purple potions, and a pair of dim eyes, staring blankly at the ceiling.
I haven't seen you for a week, how did it come to this?
I rushed to my grandfather's bed and tried to help him untie the rope, but my parents grabbed me, dragged me to the side, and told me:
"Grandpa was so uncomfortable that he didn't want to live, so if he didn't tie him up, he would pull out all the oxygen tubes and infusion tubes."
Oh my God, at the end of life, why is it so painful, so difficult?
I don't know if Mom and Dad did it right, but that must not have been Grandpa's will.
Grandpa wanted to leave with dignity, and my parents were reluctant to let Grandpa go.
My grandfather: Before going out, he had to brush his hat clean, his white shoes black with ink; every dish he made, he had to wipe the edges of the dish clean; a yard of flowers and plants bonsai were neatly and beautifully cleaned up by him.
My grandfather: Although he was only a train driver, he starved to death and did not drive for Japanese devils; after the pain of losing his son, he wanted to go with his son, but he lived to be more than ninety years old, and he had already seen through life and death, and the only people who were nostalgic were my mother and me.
How could such an old man allow himself to urinate and urinate incontinence in bed, and how could he allow his mouth ulcer to be coated with a mouth full of purple potion, which looked terrible and ugly?
He wanted to break free and want to be free, but he couldn't be allowed by his loved ones.
Grandpa could only open his eyes, which were already godless and lightless, and look upwards.
I choked up and walked over to grandpa and said, "Grandpa, I'm here, your most beloved little granddaughter is here... Look at me, look at me. ”
Grandpa's eyes were still staring at the ceiling like that, motionless.
The two aunts are going back, and my mother asked me to go back with me, I don't want to go, but I have to go to school tomorrow.
Mom urged me several times, and I leaned over Grandpa's face and murmured:
"Grandpa, I'm leaving, I'll see you tomorrow."
I reluctantly held my grandfather's unconscious hand, and just as I was about to remove it, suddenly my hand was held.
Grandpa knew, he knew who I was, he knew I was coming, though his eyes still didn't look at me.
However, I saw a drop of crystal tears in the corner of my grandfather's eyes, slowly, slowly sliding down.
This was the last time I would ever die with my grandfather.
A few hours after I left the hospital, My Grandfather's heart stopped beating.
We'll see you in heaven
Grandpa's last words were: You can't be cremated.
In order to get a decent coffin for Grandpa, the mother, who has no savings, can only sell Grandpa's bonsai to pay for the coffin.
It was 1979, burial was no longer allowed, everything had to be done in secret.
Dad found a burial place for grandpa in the mountains on the outskirts of the city, and there was no one in the city to do the coffin business, so he had to entrust people to the countryside and find a master who could make coffins.
One thing I always wondered, Grandpa had been hospitalized for half a year, and he was ninety-three years old, so why didn't Mom and Dad prepare the coffin and cemetery for Grandpa earlier? Why did you start looking for it at the last minute?
I think it was my mother who didn't want Grandpa to go.
On the day of the burial, it rained heavily, and while waiting for the coffin, I saw my grandfather lying on the board after his death.
He closed his eyes serenely, his face rosy, his face smiling, not at all like a man who had died.
After my grandfather was buried, I had myocarditis, and my mother said that I was overly sad.
I was embarrassed to object to my mother's statement, but I felt really ashamed in my heart, because I was not as sad as my mother said.
It wasn't because I didn't have enough feelings for grandpa, it wasn't that I didn't feel like grandpa had left me.
The last grandpa I saw was the serene and smiling grandpa in the scooter.
Could it be that all this was arranged by Grandpa?
When I grew up, I understood that it was my grandfather who did not want me to grieve, and he went to heaven.
Grandpa went to heaven, he went to heaven, like an angel.
epilogue
In the afterword, Jiang Wenli said this paragraph:
"Whenever I encounter something dangerous and eventually turn the danger around, I will look at the sky, and I know that grandpa is in the sky, protecting me... I believe that man has a soul, and the soul is immortal. ”
Grandpa used his love to give Jiang Wenli a happy childhood, and these healing and warm pictures made Jiang Wenli always strong in later life.
Because, with love, there is everything.