Forgive me for loving freedom uninhibitedly in this life

Yesterday, after I posted "Two Deformed Sister Flowers", I received a message from the reader "Pineapple": I am 21 years old, there are many girls who are raised like this, I have encountered many unspoken rules, I have rejected. Many girls are bent on marrying rich people, in order to eat well and buy good, but I believe that others are not stupid, and you will pay more in the cycle of cause and effect, and even take more detours. Although I don't know what the proportion of this "many" is, I still feel very uncomfortable, because "many" means that it is not unique. I replied: A lot? Ah, refreshed my cognition again.

Reader "02" also commented: Yes, there are many girls around me who are adopted. My heart was even more uncomfortable, and I replied: The knife has been living in the "mountain" for a long time, and it is lonely and unheard, why is this so? Reader "Ziying" has worked in entertainment venues before and has seen too many things that subvert the three views. After reading a large part of her message, I felt that the whole person was not good. Although I claim to live in a "paradise", I don't hear anything out of the window, and I only write my articles, I am by no means isolated from the world, and I know some crooked trends and evil tendencies. I also know that people have good and evil, beauty and ugliness, the world is colorful, and since ancient times, there has been no shortage of people who have sold their dignity in exchange for glory and wealth. But I still believe that this kind of person who does not want dignity for nothing is only a very small minority. Around me, there are more people who work hard to live like me, who want to gain both financial and spiritual freedom through their own hands. I never wanted to get something for nothing, I kept tossing and turning, I kept fighting, I just wanted to have the freedom I wanted. I once wrote in "Almost Marrying a Rich Man": After all, my parents love me, know that I have ambitions, and do not want to be trapped in that small place. Although they also hope that I can marry a rich man, they hope that I will change my fate through reading and be able to straighten my waist and go my own way. I love money because I love freedom. I need chai rice oil and salt, more poetry and far away. Yes, I also want to eat well and dress well, I also want to go on a trip that can go, I also want to act without looking at other people's eyes, not being framed by villains, not being difficult for customers, not dealing with annoying people, doing whatever you want. I know my own personality, love and hate, emotional exposure, easy to offend people, not good at socializing, like to be alone. I was born to be uninhibited and love freedom, from a young age I like to toss, very assertive, different, participate in various activities and competitions, and hope to prove my strengths and value. Character determines destiny, I don't want to live a conformist life, I don't want to go against my own will, I want to be free and unrestrained. When I discovered my talent for writing, I kept writing, writing quietly, submitting articles and submitting articles... It wasn't until one day 22 years ago that my name finally appeared on the National Selected Middle School Excellent Essays. Holding the publication that emitted the fragrance of ink and the bill of manuscript fees printed with "25 yuan", I looked at the "first bucket of gold" in my life, and strengthened my determination to write for a living. I don't want to be trapped in a poor village, I don't want to marry and have children when I get old, and then marry a chicken and a chicken to a dog and a dog. I'm a woman like the wind!" I belong to nature, to the outside world, to the vast sky, I need to breathe fresh air, I need to soar freely. Although I later painfully accepted the reality that "the outside world is wonderful, and the outside world is also helpless", the flame of that dream in my heart has never been extinguished. Although I later got married and had children, wandered far away for love, and worked hard for life, I never really put down the pen in my hand. I go to work, I make a living with my English major, I put up with all kinds of people and things that I don't like, and I try to adapt myself because I have to live. Make a living first, then love. But I never want to spend my life like that, I lie dormant, I build strength, I wait for an opportunity. I resigned several times and returned to the workplace several times, constantly looking for the best way to survive for me. I reconcile with myself, with life. Reconciliation is just to survive better and give yourself enough capital to pursue your writing dreams. I never gave up, never said defeat. Going around and around, floating and floating, now, I have finally achieved my original dream, writing about what I love and not being swayed by others. I cultivate in my own paradise, drink tea, and be in a daze; I can write all day, I can sleep for an afternoon; I can chat a few words when I want to chat, and throw my phone far away when I don't want to chat; I can talk about people with the same channel, and people who don't have the same temperament can stay away; I can not please, not welcome, not wronged myself; I can laugh when I want to laugh, cry when I want to cry, and be myself easily. I jokingly called myself living in the mountains, isolated from the rest of the world. I could not go out for a week and the fridge was full of food fruit yogurt. Of course, for the sake of good health, when the weather is nice, I will go downstairs every night and walk around the park twice. Day and night, it is me. Some people may find it inconceivable and incomprehensible. But everyone has their own favorite lifestyle, some like quiet, love to be alone, some like to move, love to be lively. I belong to the former, I like this quietness, but also enjoy this loneliness. Loneliness keeps me awake and thinking, allowing me to write what I love without distraction.

Back to the topic of this article: Why do I toss and turn so hard to indulge in freedom? Because I don't want to be subject to people, I don't want to be a kite, be caught in the hands of others, let go if you want to, collect when you want, let go if you don't want it, wander in the air alone, fate can't be by me, and finally fall down. I want to make the body and mind comfortable, and I want to hold my fate firmly in my own hands. This morning, I posted this sentence in the circle of friends: a person, a pen. One flower, one world, one grass and one bodhi. This sentence is the normal state of my life, my little world. Silence, joy, fullness, beauty. Of course, my lifestyle and pursuits, which only suit myself, are not worth emulating. Everyone is born different, has different hobbies and specialties, and can exist in a way that they feel comfortable with. No matter which way you live, as long as you are positive and rely on yourself, you deserve respect. The most important thing is to be happy and live the way you want to be.

Dear ones, forgive me for loving freedom uninhibitedly in this life, and rest assured that I will definitely give you a better me.