Last summer, a documentary called "Childhood in Other Places" created the myth of brushing screens.
When people talk about the best education, the first thing that comes to mind is Finland.
The world recognizes that the children here have good grades, strong creativity, and happiness and stress-free.
Today's hot search mother drove to the column, we interviewed Zhu Youting, a former host of "Phoenix TV" who settled in Finland.
Living in a country dominated by active education, it is obvious that Zhu Youting is very relaxed as a mother, she likes Finnish education to respect the autonomy of each child, she said: "Protecting the child's internal drive is what the mother has to do."
Bamboo Youting
Former host of "Phoenix TV",
Mother of two little boys
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" >1 "I don't want to be bound by the definition of a woman given by society."</h1>
Parent World From the popular anchor of "Phoenix TV" to the stay-at-home mother, how did you make this decision?
I stopped working when I was 7 months pregnant, and after the maternity leave, I went back to work, but at that time, I obviously felt that I could not juggle work and children.
Journalism requires a response to a message in seconds, and if I stop in front of a screen for 3 seconds, it's a news accident. This kind of high-intensity work will make me prone to irritability, especially when dealing with children, I find that my whole person is not in the right state.
The decision to be a stay-at-home mom or a working woman took me a few months (and I believe every mom does the same).
I wish I had made this decision out of an understanding of myself and that I had a choice, not from social pressure. For example, "You have to go out and work and help share the economic expenses, that's right, strong, the best woman."
The feeling in my heart is that I want to concentrate on one thing. I don't want to base my value on work achievement or be bound by society's definition of a successful woman, and I prefer to invest my time in my family.
Zhu Youting's family
I like what one of your moms said on this feature: Parenting is a marathon, and when you do news, your sense of accomplishment comes quickly, and a draft and a festival can bring a sense of maturity. But the sense of accomplishment of raising a child is not immediate, but it really means a lot!
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" >2 "Mommy is all about slowing down and being flexible at the same time."</h1>
Parent World What is the difference between the keywords of being an anchor and the keywords of being a mother?
Zhu Youting The key words of being an anchor are fast, fierce, and accurate, and there is almost no time to think about getting a topic, and then you have to ask questions.
But with kids it's the complete opposite, you have to slow down everything, everything has to slow down 10 times and repeat it over and over again. I often say that when you feel the need to understand a child instead of teaching a child, you will be willing to slow down.
Little Iron Man
For example, my eldest son, Little Iron Man, sometimes he just refuses to wear clothes because his hands are not clean, many times it is a small thing for adults, it is a big thing for children, you have to often guess where the child is stuck?
Finnish teachers also teach us things, and sometimes I ask teachers, "What if a child can't learn what you tell him?" He would say that you should not review the children, but review yourself, "Do you not understand what you say to the child", if you do not understand, you can use the drawing, or do it to show him, or is there any other way? One of the important lessons of a Finnish education is that motherhood is about slowing down and being flexible at the same time.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" >3 "Protecting the child's internal drive is what all mothers do."</h1>
Finnish education is recognized as the happiest education in the world, what is your experience?
Zhu Youting I am more impressed by a video of the little iron man kindergarten children singing Christmas songs, the children climbing, crying, in a daze, all kinds of wandering, completely unlike our domestic children neatly arranged. Finnish education attaches great importance to maintaining children's curiosity and motivation. And this internal drive, starting with respect, they will respect the autonomy of each child, want to join, refuse to join and stand outside is OK.
Kindergarten children
During the epidemic, a teacher in Finland reminded parents on Facebook: you can be a parent, don't be a teacher, tell your child what class you have today, let the child decide at what time to complete, the child can freely choose and accept the results he chooses, so that the child's internal drive will last.
This is what I really like about Finnish education, and the source of happiness is to like yourself and do something that I like very much, which is actually difficult. We're all so old now, sometimes we still don't like ourselves, why are you angry with children? In fact, it is not because he is bad, it is that you don't like yourself, you are angry with yourself. Only people who really like themselves can have enough self-confidence, which is the most important thing we give our children.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right">4 "No dad wants to be a voiceless deputy"</h1>
Parent World How do you see "God Mates" with kids and what are your principles?
Zhu Youting Usually after having a baby, the mother invests in the baby with love and the husband into the requirements! But in fact, no father wants to be a voiceless deputy, no opinion, just an executor.
There was a time when the little iron man went to kindergarten with his father to help match clothes, and his father's aesthetic could only be described as comfortable to wear, but what about wearing the wrong one? He's not going to the show, and I think Dad has the right to do that. Two or three-year-old children, also want to have his own opinion, father and son often communicate with each other to wear what? How to wear it? I think it's too good, just the matter of getting dressed, I just endured for a month, my "god teammate" gradually fell into the orbit, in fact, when dad can take full responsibility, when you give him the choice, he will have a sense of responsibility.
Someone asked me, will your three sons (plus your husband) be very hard? In fact, our family is more like "plane management", many times, children will also help manage the husband. Like they ask Dad what he's doing? I said I don't know, they will find Dad out of the toilet (Dad hid the toilet for too long to play electric ~~Roar~)
My principle is that the family manages each other, so that it is more efficient to deal with housework.
Parent World How do you understand the ordering of life, how is your life sorted?
I should have 80% of my time to put it on the children, because my little iron man is three years old, and there are many things that the three-year-old child can do independently, so I can give him a little less time and give me a little more time for myself.
Recently I suddenly had a feeling that I had to give my "God teammates" a little more time. During the Finnish home quarantine, although we were together 24 hours a day, everyone was very tired at night, and he was the one who had to get up early to work, which meant that neither of us had a chance to talk well all day, so I began to reallocate time, and I also told the children to learn to wait, Mom is now the time to talk to Dad, you can read books, in this 30 minutes, we are in the same space, I can see you, but I want to chat with Dad.
Now basically, my husband and I can keep talking for two hours a day.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" >5 "let children know how to use social media correctly from an early age."</h1>
Parent World Now that social networks are so developed, what do you think about your child's privacy issues?
Finland attaches great importance to protecting children's privacy, but what I see in Taiwan is not the case, many kindergartens will upload photos of children to apps or groups. I often communicate with people through social media, and occasionally put some pictures of my son, but the principle I give myself is not to put pictures of children who are ugly; not to teach children in front of the camera.
Now the children are relatively young, and when they go to elementary school and can understand what social media is, I will definitely ask for their opinions before putting their photos.
When I was in Asia, I saw children in cooking classes, my mother holding a mobile phone, constantly patting, Finland does not have such a culture, they will feel strange, shouldn't the class be a good class? People actually have different understandings of this concept.
When I take pictures of my children in Finnish parks, I explain to the people next to me that I'm taking pictures of my children, but I don't photograph you. Many children now have their own mobile phones and WeChat, but they really need to know how to use social media correctly, and parents need to take them to know these things from an early age.