Lin Qingxuan once said: "Life is like writing on the water, the second stroke has not fallen, and the first stroke has flowed to the far side." ”
Turning my head to see, the years have pushed you and me through half a life, and it is too late to remember and sigh.
Along the way, we have met many people, endured many things, suffered from white eyes, have been ridiculed, and have not covered up the heat and indifference and have not exchanged for sincerity.
Then, in the midst of countless ups and downs, I finally understood: the more you are accommodating to people, the more sad you are; the more you give in, the more you are wronged.
Only by putting away the weakness of the heart and facing the injustice and falsehood in reality can we consider ourselves and accept joy.
The last time I saw my girlfriend Xiaoxi, it was half a year ago, she just renovated the new house, and everyone went to the liveliness together.
Recently, I asked to take my children to Disney, and I said it four times in a row, and she didn't say yes.
It wasn't until last week that she asked me to take care of my mother that she told the truth.
A while ago, at the family party, my cousin called Xiaoxi aside, said that Erbao needed to change cars when she was born, and asked her to borrow 50,000 yuan.
She paused for 3 seconds: "Okay, I'll give you a turn right away." ”
Because she was afraid that her cousin would feel stingy, and she was also worried that she would be on fire because she could not change the car, Xiao Xi lent her only remaining savings to her cousin.
But when he couldn't take his daughter out on a trip and couldn't arrange a nurse for his mother, he found that his brother-in-law had bought a new watch at his cousin's daughter's birthday party, and the child had a new tablet, but he didn't say anything about repaying the money.
Xiao Xi turned and went to the bathroom, looking at himself in the mirror, and swallowed all his grievances alone.
In life, we are not the same. Carefully maintaining every relationship, and even getting used to looking at other people's faces, obviously sad, but not saying a word.
But for yourself, you really don't need to be very good at acting, and you don't have to hold on and pretend to be happy.
He should refuse, because he has his excuses and I have my reasons.
There are not so many shoulds, and it is most important to understand the heart.
"Silent Confession" says: "We spend our whole lives to get rid of the expectations of others and find our true selves." ”
Life is not easy, do not lose yourself in order to follow the minds of others; you do not have to hide your grievances in order to be considerate of others.
Proper rejection is not selfishness, but an understanding of oneself and honesty about life.
At 11 o'clock last night, the neighbor Sister Dan knocked on the door and put the key to her own house in my hand.
She said, "I've taken all my valuables with me, and if there's an emergency, you can take care of it for me." ”
I nodded yes and saw the loneliness in her eyes and the bruises on her face.
She decided to go back to her southern hometown for a while, leaving her husband, who was always arguing with her and even doing something to her.
Yesterday, Sister Dan spent a busy afternoon, prepared a large table of her husband's favorite dishes, bought gifts and cakes, and waited for him to come home from work to celebrate.
Unexpectedly, her husband did not even make a phone call, arrived home at 10 o'clock at night, drunk, and accused her of wasting, saying that he had married a loser's wife.
Sister Dan looked at his helpless expression and whispered to him: "Today is the anniversary of our 10th marriage, I hope you can be happy." ”
"It's better to buy a few packs of cigarettes with this money and get these useless things." The husband complained as he walked to the bedroom.
Sister Dan stepped forward to help him, but was impatiently thrown away, and her face slammed into the closet.
This time, the pain was sober.
She looked at the man in front of her, without tears, turned to pack up her things, and left the two of them at home.
Writer Wang Xiaobo said: "The most unfortunate thing in this world is that after thousands of hardships, it has done a stupid thing. ”
When those who are willing are taken for granted, when those who are replaced with their hearts are disgusted, no matter who it is, it is inevitable that they will be chilled.
After ten years of hard work, since I couldn't wait to treat each other sincerely, I chose to leave.
This bravery is to put away the humble wisdom, but also to embrace the freedom of oneself.
I have seen such a sentence:
"You're always focused on people who don't like you, which is very unfair to people who like you."
Do not let others ignore, do not be tired of others, in order to meet better people and a better future.
Choosing to leave is not to escape, but to really face the problem and return yourself to yourself.
There was a question on the Internet: how important is it to be gregarious?
A high praise replied: "Those who understand you are not in the group; those who do not understand you are not in the group." Being gregarious is not the rule, be happy with yourself. ”
But in reality, too many people have lost their freedom and lost the ability to please themselves.
A few days ago, a circle of friends in the early morning of classmate Hiroko was deleted after posting, but it happened to be seen by me.
He wrote: "I don't want to force myself to force myself into a circle I don't like, it's too silly and too tired." ”
The accompanying picture is a curled figure under a street lamp on a rainy day.
This was his true mood, but he chose to hide secretly, did not have the courage to declare to the world, and could only put on the mask again to continue to disguise.
When he graduated, Haozi was the first to find a job, just entered the company, he took the initiative to add the WeChat of each colleague, and clicked more than 70 likes in their visible circle of friends.
Every day, he would arrive 30 minutes early, boil hot water in advance, put coffee beans in, and even be ready to smile at everyone.
But behind this smile, the rejection was disguised, and freedom was restrained.
During the Mid-Autumn Festival holiday, the department's K song party, he did not want to go at all, but "without hesitation" under the persuasion of colleagues and the inquiry of the manager.
Knowing that he would be embarrassed, he insisted on participating, because he was afraid that others would say that he was arrogant, different, and unsociable.
But as a result, on the contrary, it loses decency and is more uncomfortable.
In life, we often make such a mistake, thinking that if we meet everyone's wishes, we will be happy.
But after a long time, I found that only by putting away this pretense of love and boldly being myself can I really relax.
Don't neglect yourself in order to cater to others, don't spend time and effort, and end up asking yourself "Why is this?"
Yang Dai once said: "We used to look forward to the recognition of the outside world, but in the end we realized that the world is our own and has nothing to do with others." ”
Brave and alone, not different or wrong, just choose another way to present yourself, do not embarrass yourself, do not live up to life.
Writer Wu Man Zha Jiang said:
"In this world, if you are good enough to be unreserved, the other party will dare to be bad enough to be unscrupulous."
So, please take care of your goodness, preferably like a blooming rose, and protect its beauty with thorns. ”
Through half a lifetime, we have given, endured, always expected to be considerate of others, but forgot to please ourselves.
For the rest of our lives, may we all put away our weaknesses, sincerely listen to our hearts, pay as much as we can, and rejoice in what we have gained.
Author | Liu Xiaochang, loves words and life.
Image | Visual China