【My Heartache Experience】

Author: Zhao Ming

I like to feel the soothing of the sun on a cold winter day, watch the snow melt a little, thin like a virtual evening dress; and then let it diagonally through the gap in the hair and kiss my face; but the winter in Longquan is snowless, and in my opinion, a winter without snow is not a complete winter.....

The first time I saw Di was in such an incomplete season, the wind started, and on that winter night, a burst of cold stimulated my thin body and Di's thin body, so there was a moment of sitting in the tea house, "Say something!" I said.

"Say something?" Di smiled shallowly, and that smile was like the kind of sunlight I liked at this moment, so I began to examine Di's cold face and bright eyes with the afterglow. Yes, before that, I was Qinggao, and I didn't easily read the fleeting passerby, but I couldn't help but feel a little uncomfortable with Di at this time.

For a moment of silence, Di and I smoked shallow cigarettes, shallow eyes, shallow smiles.....

"This melon seed is so white!" Di pushed the melon seeds on the table.

"Yeah, why is this melon seed so white?" I repeated Dee's words.

"This hand towel is so white," Di and I couldn't help but laugh at the same time.

Later, when I was with Di, I often talked about this classic dialogue, and often discussed whether the melon seeds were whiter or the hand towel was whiter.

The next day, Di and I still met online, still chatting endlessly, and still unrealistic fantasies, but for this time, I hoped that I could collide with Di's heart and heart, alternating between spirit and flesh.

Di likes to play cards, I also like, for Chengdu, this is just the most common pastime, so we agree to meet at the same time every night, if we win, we will squander, lose to comfort each other, reflect on the mistakes, that time is good for us, but when we are together, we say nothing, do nothing, although I vaguely feel that something called love has grown in my heart.

On that occasion, Di said he was going to Qingdao for two or three days, two or three days, but only a few dozen hours, but for me at that time it might be a century of loneliness, so that night I hugged and kissed Di, and in my bed we were like two fish with red water. I shallowly said love to him, shallow sniffed his body odor, shallow soothed his body, everything seemed shallow to me, but only love was deep.

In the few days when Dee was away, I desperately called him and left him a message on the Internet like crazy, and I knew that this time I was really in love.

The day before Valentine's Day, Dee came back from a business trip, and I bought a big box of chocolates to give him, but he said he was too busy working overtime, yes, I wasn't an irrational person, I understood his work, but still couldn't help but feel heartache, and he was too busy for a week.

When I saw Di again, I interpreted all my thoughts and heartaches in the embrace, but Di's reaction was not enthusiastic, so what does it matter, Isn't Di in front of my eyes, not in my arms, isn't it an appointment to meet next time........

That night was too boring, call Di's phone shut down, and then call or shut down, so I ran to the Internet, or no Di, I casually hung QQ in the chat room called alternative, a man from Longquan greeted me, I casually returned to him, when I was not interested in his question, I said to him very casually, "We have seen, I have no good impression of you" He then asked me what I looked like.

"Tall, thin," I said perfunctorily.

He thought hard for a moment and asked, "Are you the one from the Asahi Light Factory," as well as asahi factory, Di's work unit, and my heart tingled.

So he began to tell me about Di, where did he know, my love for Di has flowed into every inch of the body with the blood, every word he said stabbed me, and finally he told me that Di was the famous 419 king of Longquan, and when the Apartment of Xuguang Factory where he was located became a 419 place, I felt that I was dead, I stumbled back home, and then called Di's phone, and when I called, I answered another man, when Di took the phone, he said he was too busy now, and then he hung up in a hurry, I dialed again, Let him give me 5 minutes to listen to me finish speaking, he is impatient, everything is understood, but I still hope to hear Di tell me that everything I heard is not true, but he did not, just told me not to call him in the future, then my heart aches, that night, I kept smoking, to the next day in exchange for a fire, toothache; I was lying in bed, watching the drops flowing into my body, I suddenly felt that it was my sad tears, I couldn't help but think of Di, The tears flowed down without a fight. In the four days in the hospital, I didn't talk to a person, just kept shedding tears, my mother always thought that this time it was really a toothache to the extreme, she knew that I could bear the physical pain, but the sting of my heart could destroy me...

Coming out of the hospital, I was still heartbroken, I began to count minutes and seconds with my heart, afraid that I couldn't control myself, and then I dialed the phone that made me sad, and I rarely went online, afraid that I would talk to him without a fight when I met Di again. Yes, I lost love and can't lose my self-esteem anymore.

Later, on the Internet, I told a distant friend about my story with Di, and he said that I should hate Di, but where did he know that the person who was once in the deepest part of his soul could say that he hated and hated? Even if Di stabbed me all over my body, even if Di made my heart ache to the extreme, I knew that only if love was true, the heart would hurt...

Dee, what more can be said? In the future life, you have to take good care of yourself, but when you meet someone like me who loves you, don't let him be sad anymore, because people in our circle are easy to hurt and need to be cared for, although we will not be accepted, but our love and heart are real.

In my past 26 years, Dee has been the only person I love the most, and despite the heartache, Dee is not wrong, because he has never promised me, even if it hurts, it is my own misunderstanding, because Di may never have experienced me with heart...

Dee, don't delete me QQ, I can be your audience when you need to find someone to talk to later; you need comfort.