Fan Letters:
Kaigo! Hello! My wife and I got our license from May 2020, got married in September, and chose to divorce by the end of January 2021.
After marriage, there was almost no married life, and when she touched it, she was very resistant to me, and then after marriage she transferred hundreds of thousands of our property to her relative's bank card.
At the beginning of January, she had a birthday present for her birthday, until I saw that other men in the circle of friends sent her happy birthday hints of blessings, and then the circle of friends, the man deleted... When everything hit together, I broke down!
The changes before and after marriage, from this person did not see any point of love for me, let me have a different view and view of the sacred marriage, I am not stupid, married and started a family, can tolerate it, as good as possible to her, trust in exchange for such an ending.
Now I am getting better, but my view of marriage has changed, which is subversive! Sometimes I feel that the most poisonous woman's heart, I have not done anything wrong, everything is based on the family, but I have lost the most!
I also want to understand that a person does not love you, can do anything, because do not love, will not consider the other party's feelings, because do not love, so it is normal to do something strange to you!
(We work in a unit, both sides are 28 years old, the nature of the work is shift, from the realization of marriage to the end of the relationship for two years, both sides are ordinary families, in these two years of relationship, I have done the responsibility of a husband.)
Transporting her to and from work, even if she can't even sleep when she rests, gives her gifts on holidays, and cooks meals she likes to eat when she's uncomfortable.
Every time I watched Via live, I would buy her what she needed... There are so many things like this in life that I don't want to remember anymore)
But I still couldn't figure out what kind of person would do so many jerk things to his marriage!
Kai Zi answered:
Hello, seeing your letter, my first reaction was to think of Zhai Xinxin, as if your ex-wife and this "poisonous woman" who was spat on on the Internet used marriage as a tool to accumulate wealth.
I don't know if you are also like Su Xiangmao, who fell into his feelings and blindly couldn't see the direction, so he willingly took out everything he had for her?
However, I also have a few doubts, the reason why Su Xiangmao will be deceived by Zhai Xinxin again and again is because he can't wait to get married, and the two sides know each other through the Internet and don't know each other enough.
But you are not, you work in a unit, realize that you have been married for a total of two years, in addition to being married for half a year, you have also experienced a year and a half of love, and you also have a certain understanding of her family.
So why is it that they are suitable for each other, and she really can't see it until you get married?
Besides, no girl would be stupid enough to waste a year and a half of her time in a relationship, get married and then divorce, and let herself bear the label of a second marriage, just for hundreds of thousands? Is it worth it?
So let me tell you about the two questions I saw in your letter.
The first: the issue of property
To say that the purpose of her marriage to you is to deceive you of hundreds of thousands, it seems unreasonable, because you work in a unit, if she cheats money, she must also estimate her own reputation, and it cannot be for your hundreds of thousands, specially entered this company.
If she really had such a big heart, I think she wouldn't just lie to you about these hundreds of thousands.
So what is the reason for these hundreds of thousands, and you will transfer to her relatives? Why did you agree in the first place? You didn't say, I don't know, but I guess there must be some special reason here.
Since the two parties have divorced, can these hundreds of thousands of dollars be brought back through legal means?
There is also that you said that there is almost no conjugal life after marriage, you used the word "almost", indicating that there are still some, but very few, I originally wanted to ask you, did you not have an intimate relationship before marriage? I also wonder if she would like the same sex.
Later, I saw that you said that there were other men in the circle of friends who gave her happy wishes for the day, which also showed that she did not like the same sex, so what is the reason why she married you here and you, but that side is so distant from you?
You used the word "we" in the sentence she said she transferred her property, so how much of the money is yours and how much is hers? Or is the money your bride price for her?
If so, then this is not your property, from a legal point of view, what was given to her before marriage should be counted as her own property.
If not, she won't let you touch her as soon as you get married, so why would you give her such a large sum of money?
Also, on whose card is the money on?
We all know that without my authorization, hundreds of thousands of people, whether offline or online banking, can not be transferred. If the money is on your card, then she must have agreed to transfer the money, so what is she using to convince you?
The second: the problem of extramarital love
You mentioned seeing other men in the circle of friends give her the blessing of the happy day hint, how can you judge that the happy birthday sent by others is a hint to your wife? What is this implication?
Did you see this blessing in your circle of friends, or did you see it in her circle of friends? If it is her circle of friends, why would you go to see her mobile phone, and even the circle of friends to see.
If you see it in your circle of friends, how do your friends and your wife know each other, and he knows that in your circle of friends, why do you still do this?
This seems a bit illogical to me, unless she deliberately shows it to you.
And what did you do to your wife after you found out? Pretend not to know, or have a big fight, two people divorced?
Because you said you divorced in January, and she happened to be on her birthday in January, I wonder if your divorce has something to do with it?
I said that this may make you feel uncomfortable in your heart, you are already a victim, why do I still question you.
I must say that in the relationship, whether it is a man or a woman, if it is hurt, it should think about two issues:
1, why do you choose a person with a problem to get married, is it that you didn't see clearly before marriage, or is the other party too good at disguise?
2, the other party seems to have changed a person after marriage, what is the reason for the change, is it because you yourself have changed?
As for you saying that you are good to her, will give her gifts, cook for her and so on, you know, feelings are not about how much you give, how good you are to each other.
It's about looking at how much you give is what she wants, and how much good is from the heart, not asking for anything in return.
The more people give their feelings, the worse it is, because there is an expectation for paying, and they want to have a return, so excessive payment has become a control disguised as love.
On the surface, it seems that I have done a lot for you because I love you, but in fact I want to penetrate into every space of yours, and I even want to take away your freedom.
So there is a saying: "If you want to move others, you only touch yourself in the end." ”
Of course, you may have met a female liar and met a scumbag, after all, most of us will meet people who are unladylike, and wrong faith and wrong love often occur.
Anyone's life will inevitably encounter one or two stumbling stones, and everyone will accidentally fall down, in fact, what they are afraid of is not falling, but not getting up after falling.
The most important thing is that we have to get up after falling down to remove the stone that tripped us, to find the reason for our fall, to have more self-examination and self-examination, to make ourselves more cautious and more careful in the future, so that we can go further and meet the right person!