In the early morning of December 25, 2018, Tan Li and her 7-year-old son Yangyang were found dead at home. They died of carbon monoxide poisoning, which police said was a well-prepared suicide.
All because 7-year-old Yang Yang is an autistic child, from kindergarten to elementary school, the door to his school is closed. People don't know about autistic children, they don't know how to get along with them, and Yangyang doesn't have a school to go to. (Details Of the last blow suffered by mothers of children with autism)
When many parents take English classes or math classes for their children, homework is more or less, test scores are high or low, go to bed early or late at night, naughty or well-behaved at school, piano exams are 8 or 9... And when you are worried, the parents of special children only want their children to walk with their own feet, only want to hear a clear "mom and dad", just want to go out with their children without being pointed out and watching, just want him to go to normal school like other children, have their own friends...
Is this a luxury? Yes, for many children, things as free and natural as air are extravagant for special children and special families.
For special families, every day needs to be particularly difficult to spend and carry the weight forward. Any lack of understanding and rough treatment can be the last straw that crushes the burden. This is the tragedy of the suicide of pregnant women with autistic children on December 25.
I always thought these special children were far away from me. However, when I had children and communicated with my friends who were parents around me, I realized that there were so many parents who were deeply involved in the distress of families with special children.
So, what can we, who are not parties, do?
First, we need to treat it as equals. Then, when they need it, give appropriate help. Finally, if you like their personality, hobbies, and heart, be friends with them. They need your sincere friendship.
I know how much these children need our equal love.
I hate monistic values very much, the pragmatic values that pervade society. At the heart of these ideas is a contempt for personal values. In order to achieve a certain goal, the dignity of each person, even the life of each person, can be disregarded.
This atmosphere has led to the blind worship of authority and bullying of the weak in daily life.
Why do we see people with physical disabilities who are either indifferent and regard them as non-homogeneous; or pitiful, giving others unwanted pity; not to mention that there are people who are disgusted, disgusted, and bullied... Why can't we treat them equally, when they need help, stretch out their hands; when they get along with us, like ordinary friends, share the joys of life together?
How to treat others is actually a reflection of one's own heart. Everyone has a mirror in front of us, and all we have to do is wipe our hearts clean and make the tragedy a little less.
Five years ago, Tongshu's mother received a letter from a child with albinism who was about to attend kindergarten, and her mother did not know how to explain to him why the child was different from others. When Mikawa replied with an affectionate letter [SAY U SAY ME 12] When our children were defective, Teacher Kaya of Guangzhou School for the Deaf and Dumb contacted her and told her that the right way was for the children in their classes to understand the specialities of these special children and know what the correct way to treat them was. Children will be kind, and as long as they know the right thing to do, they will treat special classmates like this.
Kaya also told Mikawa that the best way is for the whole class to read picture books together, and she recommended eight picture books to the readers of the children's book mother. After that, we added this list of picture books. We also call for these picture books in every community and every class as we did five years ago, and we give these cognitive classes to our children, so that our special children will be treated kindly by their peers and their classmates will be less likely to be harmed.
7 picture book stories about autistic children
Story 1
"I Have an Autistic Friend"
Text: Mitchell Lachaise Drawing: Francis Tabor
Our friend Adrian has autism and studied at a special school. We often play together. Adrian is neither selfish nor liar, but it is a very difficult thing for him to put himself in the shoes of others. Although we are on one earth, he belongs to another world that we do not know. How I wish that one day we too could learn about his world, it must have been particularly wonderful, particularly interesting.
Story 2
The Best Brother in the World
Ven Franz-Joseph Haunig, Tuvilena Balhaus
Hubei Children's Publishing House
He wasn't at all like me, not like Dad, not like Mom, not like anyone I knew. He doesn't laugh when we laugh; he doesn't cry when he's sad; he doesn't say a word all day when he's angry. However, I still like him as much as my parents. Because he's my brother.
Autism is not a different skin color and nationality, nor is it a fever, a hair loss, they live in their own world, they have a way of knowing the world that belongs to them. Either way, if he is your family, then give him more affection; if it is your friend, give him more love and friendship.
Story 3
"Brother's World"
Wen Liu Qingyan, Figure Chen Yingfan, Hebei Education Publishing House
The six-year-old brother, trapped in another world that no one else could enter, stubbornly wore only blue clothes, ate only cereal and omelette for breakfast, and repeatedly drew airplanes. When I try to get close to him, he gets angry, screams, and hits himself on the head. One day, he found an injured bird and took it in, and the moment the wounded bird was released, my brother began to scream again, and I held his hand and swung up and down: "The bird flies, the brother also flies, and flies, and flies together to the world of freedom and autonomy." "The younger brother quieted down and began to paint birds, painting the whole family...
Story 4
Russell's Sky
Charles Aneta III, Tumonica Pollack
Chemical Industry Press
This is a collection of graphic stories of an autistic son recorded by a father, and in his pen, the three sons have their own characteristics, and Russell's differences are so cute: Russell has a big smile and loves his whole family. He's like a detective because he can find things to hide—like straws or straws. Russell walked gracefully. He was learning to swim, and he loved the water, and at school he learned sign language and did some simple homework. Russell loves swings. Russell really enjoyed riding the school bus. The kids reserved russell's favorite seat for him because he liked to sit in the same seat every time.
Story 5
Incredible Friends
Graphic By Seiya Tajima, published by Houlang
On the first day of the second-grade Yusuke transfer, he was surprised by an autistic boy named Xiaoan. He would climb up high rib racks without anyone around, he would say strange things to himself, he would suddenly lose control of his emotions, he would be nervous about physical touch. Xiao An did something wrong, and the classmates will not be in a hurry, but will teach him patiently.
At first, Yusuke didn't know how to get along with Xiao'an, but as they got along, Yusuke began to like this simple Xiao'an. He would hug Xiao An, and Xiao An would thank him in broken language. They walked together through primary and secondary schools, did postal work together, and have been supporting and caring for each other for more than twenty years...
Story 6
"I'm Here"
Photo/Text Peter Reynolds, Zhejiang Children's Publishing House
"I'm here, you're there. Maybe you didn't notice me, maybe... There will be a gentle wind that brings us together. Well, I'll be here. "The world is separated from me by a layer of glass" This is the eternal knot in the heart of autistic children, but this does not mean that they do not want to be discovered and understood. They long for the attention of others, for being able to get along with normal children, no longer lonely, singing and laughing; while other children can also notice his presence, understand him, accept him, and become friends with him.
Maybe they're just missing a paper airplane that carries them out of the prison with ease: "See me! I'm here! ”
Story 7
Me and My Asperger Superpowers
Melanie Walsh, Figure Melanie Walsh
Beijing United Publishing Co., Ltd
Asperger's syndrome is generally defined as "autism without intellectual disabilities." The energetic Isaac in the book shows the Asperg superpowers he possesses – his exuberant energy is overwhelming, as if he is always living in his own world, which is super difficult to communicate; your adjectives seem to be difficult for him to understand forever; his "strangeness" makes you often rush to escape... He's one of the people with Asperger's syndrome, our kids, or our kids' classmates, and how cool are his "different"!
About autism
The first time I heard about autism was when I went to Nova Press and saw a book called "Daddy Loves Xihe". It was a book written by my father to his autistic son, and because of the author's open-minded mentality, humorous brushstrokes, coupled with the helpless reality, tortured emotions, I cried and laughed, and then sighed for a long time. We think we are the masters of the earth, but there are many things in this world that we do not understand. I know that many people are most afraid of hearing the doctor's words, which are "unknown cause" and "unknown effect", that is to say, they do not know why, nor do they know what to do. As I got older, I found that there were far more unexplained and ineffective conditions than I had imagined. Humans seem to be very intelligent, but in fact, they have not even understood the cause of the cold. Sometimes I wonder how good it would be to put the financial and intellectual resources to invent rockets and build warships in biomedicine. However, I also know that the development of science is comprehensive and complementary, and my wishes are only my own good wishes. However, it is possible for everyone to care more about their own body and mind, and more about everyone around them. And, I believe, since life has given us a problem, we should not take it directly as a result - you know, there are many miracles that life can create, and even if there are no miracles, we have to enjoy life in the process.
16 picture book stories about other special children
For Children with Intellectual Disabilities: Super Brother
Wen Zhao Meihui, Figure Cui Yonghui (his brother is a mentally retarded patient)
This is a poignant story. What should we do with a person who thinks and acts abnormally? I believe this is a conundrum for anyone. The power of family affection will always overcome difficulties. When we treat children who behave abnormally in normal ways, we often find their extraordinary abilities, even the genius side.
For children with cerebral palsy: "Yas's King's New Clothes"
Wen Liu Qingyan Jiang Yicun, Figure Jiuzi, Hebei Education Publishing House
Yas was a big trouble, always upsetting everyone, but he didn't seem to feel anything at all. He made his parents angry, his teacher jumped to his feet, and his classmates ignored him. Yas has no good friends and can only play with the beetles. Yas likes to draw their faces, and Mom and Dad are very worried about him.
One day, the neighbors saw the beetle that Yass had drawn, and everyone thought that the beetle painted by Yas was too beautiful. Gradually, Yass's paintings of beetles swept the town. The king also summoned Yas into the palace and asked him to use the beetle as the shape of his next set of clothes, hoping to shame him. The king was satisfied with his clothes, and he was about to hold a grand parade to show off his new look, and solemnly announced that the day would be designated as "Yas's Beetle Festival". The uniqueness of this book Yas and the fairy tale are seamlessly combined, and after reading this book, you will understand more about the sparkling uniqueness of children with cerebral palsy!
Similar books also include "Woodpecker Girl" (Wen Liu Qingyan, Jiang Yicun, Tu Heidi Duo'er, Hebei Education Publishing House).
For a seriously ill child, "Elephant Boy"
Wen Hao Guangcai, Figure Shinsuke Tanaka
How can a boy be called an "elephant boy"? It turned out that because he was born with a disease, he could only breathe by opening his throat and intubating his nose to eat. He had never really eaten a grain of rice, a slice of bread, a piece of meat, a green vegetable... Sustaining life on fluids.
Life itself is a miracle, and we don't know how it works. But the miracles of the world, as we know, are supported and created by love.
The elephant boy, with his grandmother's careful care, optimistic spirit, perseverance, and the help of the institutions and people around him, step by step from the gray to the light. Instead of donating goods and money, what we need is long-term visitation, peaceful exchanges, and sincere friendship.
For children with leg and foot disabilities: "The wheelchair is my foot"
Venfranz-Joseph Haunig, Tuvinla Balhaus
Oriental Publishing House
The body is different from others, and it is not anyone's fault. In the eyes of many people, people who can't walk are pitiful; people who are fat are ridiculous; people who are bald are ugly; people who are thin and small are unhealthy; people with dark skin are dirty...
But are there any perfect people in the world? Are there people who are young and ageless? Is there someone who never gets sick? No one can escape the laws of nature. So why should we use a temporary external standard to ridicule and pity others?
Don't think someone else needs help in one area and think he's flawed as a whole. Moreover, to give others physical help, but also to give them inner help. Inner help is sometimes more important than physical help.
To deaf children: "My sister can't hear"
Jean Whitehouse, Tu Deborah Rey
It's a moving poem. When a child loses his hearing, what does his world look like? What is his family like? Also, what does their life look like? We have no sense of superiority to sympathize with blind, deaf people who may know the beauty of the world better than we do. They have their way, their mystery, and their fun.
Different plants need different planting methods to bloom beautiful flowers, and these "special" children are difficult to walk because our world is designed for able-bodied people. We habitually believe that it is the responsibility of national and field experts to understand and address the difficulties of people with disabilities, and to forget how to get along with these children with special needs is the responsibility of everyone.
For Blind Children: "What Color is the Wind"
Photo: Wen Ann Aiper Guizhou People's Publishing House
This is a book read through eyes and fingers. It is reminiscent of the sentence in "The Little Prince": "The essential things are invisible with the eyes, and can only be felt with the heart." In order to find the answer to "what color is the wind", the little boy asked all the way and got different answers. Starting with the three finger marks on the cover, please slowly close your eyes, follow the footsteps of the little boy, and slowly feel the color of the wind.
There are many things that, when we lose them, will feel so precious, such as light. Once, with Little Maruko, I played a blindfolded game. Those ten minutes were as long as an hour. Our lives, sometimes reminded in this way, to be cherished.
When my eyes were blindfolded, suddenly I felt the temperature of the sun, the weight of the wind, the bumps of the land, the smell of grass blades, the smell of flowers, the chirping of birds... I lost my vision, but I opened the door to sensation and touch.
At the same time, I also deeply appreciate how colorful and rich the world is. Although we seem to be able-bodied people, if we have never used our eyes and ears well, then we are actually blind and deaf.
Similar books include A Black Book on Color (Wen Gordon, Tufalia Relay Press), Beautiful Mind Sees the World (Venfallands-Joseph Haunig, Tu verena Barhouse, Hubei Children's Publishing House), Helen's Big World - The Life of Helen Keller (Wen Dorlin Rapaport, Tumat Tavares, Beijing United Publishing Company).
For the Hyperactive Child: "The Little Angel Who Loves to Break In"
Wen Wang Xiuyuan, Figure Liu Shuru
Once upon a time, there was a very lively and lively little angel in the heavens, and everyone called him the motor angel. At concerts, he ran to the stage to catch birds; at weddings, he set off firecrackers during ceremonies. In short, he always made trouble everywhere, making a body of dirt and mud. So, is he a bad angel, what kind of lesson will he be taught, can he change his trouble-making temper...
I don't like to use the term "symptom" to refer to children. That's the way to list a child as a sick person beforehand, but who can say that they are not sick?
Many parents often say, "Little children, what do you know?!" "Love to move, that is naughty, have to discipline; crying, that is bad temper, must be harshly taught; shy, that is lack of exercise, need to show more in front of adults; beating people, that is grumpy, go home and govern fiercely; take other people's things, that is also got, beat hard, let him remember the lesson ...
However, what does the child's psychology think, and does the parent understand? Perhaps, the child's crying is to attract the attention of his father, who rarely accompanies him; the child's shyness, he is more accustomed to expressing it in other ways; the child hits people because he stops other children from bullying people; the child takes other people's things because he always shares his own things with others...
Yes, every child is an angel, and parents are asked to treat their children as if they were angels.
Story 8
To the gentle and delicate child: "Oliver is a girl"
Text/Photo Tommy Digler
Everyone said that Oliver was a girl, he didn't like boys' games, he liked to go for walks in the forest, jump rope, read books, draw, and play with paper dolls. He likes to play a variety of characters and often runs to the attic to act. A grand talent contest was held locally. He participated very hard and seriously... But unfortunately did not win. But this time, the students were deeply impressed by his courage, serious performance, and unremitting efforts, and no longer called him a woman, but also called him a big star!
As long as it does not hinder others, any kind of personality should be respected, even if you don't like it, you must accept and respect the choices of others. This is one of the most basic principles of civilized society.
If you decide what is right and what is wrong based on the preferences of some people, then one day, you will also be hurt. Because, there is always something you like, and others think it is wrong.
I don't want our children to grow up to discriminate against others or be discriminated against by others because of their profession, personality, or even clothing and hairstyle.
True bravery is the courage to stand up when everyone is opposed, to stand up for one's own opinions, and to pursue one's dreams. Otherwise, relying on the strength of the body and the reckless impulse, it is nothing more than a silly boldness that makes people laugh.
Story 9
For children with asthma: "On the Wings of Dreams"
Venfaranz-Joseph Haunig;
Flory's dream, the cyclist, seems out of reach in the face of asthma, and everyone laughs at his whimsy, so he can only sneak to the garage to touch the bicycle. One day, a superstar bicycle came to the school, Mr. Ali, who turned out to be a severe asthma patient! With The encouragement of Mr. Ali, Flory re-mounted the bike...
When a chronic disease such as asthma appears in the child's body, parents should not let the child feel that this is an eternal enemy and not a very annoying thing. Then, learning to get along with it, learning to still have your own dreams and life, is the most important thing.
The 10th story
For Children with Down Syndrome: The Most Special Language
Venfaranz-Joseph Haunig, Tuvilena Balhaus
There is likely to be 1 in every 700 children with Down syndrome. What kind of people are normal people, and what kind of people are sick? Perhaps, many times it is not as simple as we think.
Maybe when your speech speed is slower, your reaction is slower, and you show that you are different from others, the important thing is that you are yourself, and no one can replace you! Whether you're Tall or Short, it doesn't matter. The important thing is that we are connected in hearts and sufferings! There's no need for other people to taunt and ridicule, because, in fact, we are all the same.
Similar books include "A Different David" (photo/Wen Helena Karajack, Beijing Children's Publishing House) and "Florian, Take It Slowly" (photo/Wen Sansona, Foreign Languages Publishing House).
The 11th story
For a child with a physical disability, Susan Laughs
Winnie Willis, Tony Rose, Future Press
Some children may be a little special, but that doesn't stop them from perceiving the world. They are special because they need our care and help in life; but they are ordinary because they, like other children, have their own unique character, interests, abilities and needs.
Be friends with Susan, not just because she's a special child, but also because she's a child! An equally mischievous and cute child. The more important message of this book to children is to face up to imperfections and live happily in imperfections.
The 12th story
For children with epilepsy, Laura's Secret
Photo/Text Helena. Karajack, Beijing Children's Publishing House
Laura suffers from epilepsy, and on her first day of school, she was afraid that her classmates would not accept it and did not tell everyone about her illness. Until one day, she fell ill at school. When she returned to school, she was afraid that her classmates would alienate her, but the teachers and classmates still treated her as usual. In the classroom, the teacher even told the stories of some great people, who were also "different" and had epilepsy like Laura when they were young, but through their own efforts, they all achieved achievements that ordinary people could not achieve. Seeing the loving eyes of teachers and classmates, she was finally relieved.
The 13th story
For children with learning disabilities
"Thank you, Foucault"
Photo/ Text Patria Polako, Jiangxi Science and Technology Publishing House
This is the true story of the author himself: in Patricia's eyes, words are just a bunch of crooked lines, she can't spell words as easily as anyone else, she can't tell the difference at all, her heart is full of frustration and fear: Can I learn to read?
Later, a new teacher came to the school, Mr. Foucault. The teacher always praised Patricia's paintings for being beautiful, and also made her read some strange symbols every day, saying to her: "Little fellow, don't you know?" You just don't recognize words in a different way than other people. You've cheated so many great teachers! What a clever, witty and brave man! The following year, Patricia's life was full of surprises and discoveries, and she began to enjoy going to school and learning to read and write. When she grew up, she even became a children's literature writer!
A similar book is The Clever "Stupid Kid" (Helena. By Karajack, Maga. Ruby, Beijing Children's Publishing House).
The 14th story
For Adopted Children: "You're Our Baby"
What kind of family is the best family, what kind of parents, the best parents. Every child has his own criteria for judging, and every child has his own thinking. As a parent, you cannot become a qualified parent because of blood relations. A loving home, better than other conditions, is more suitable for the growth of children.
The 15th story
For the Children of Restructured Families: "We Have Each Other"
Lucy Herberg; Tuvilena Balhaus
Not every prince and princess has been living happily and sweetly ever since they got married. When parents are separated for various reasons, there is no absolute who is right and who is wrong. When two families form a new family, they can also be filled with strong love. This is the helplessness of life, and at the same time it can be the excitement of life.
The 16th and final story
For all the different kids
"Actually, you and I are the same"
Text/Photo steve
A little white sheep named Nilepu lived happily on the prairie with the other white sheep; in the early morning, ate little daisies for breakfast; at noon she chatted with the white clouds in the sky; in the afternoon she frolicked with butterflies; in the evening, Nilep fell asleep tired but very contented. One day, suddenly, a little black sheep came – oh my God, will they become enemies, or good friends?
About the kids who are different
We're used to everything being the same. Once something different appears, our first reaction is often to first doubt, then despise, and finally oppose, suppress, and even eliminate. When I was young, one day, a neighbor's big brother came to my house for help. Because he burned his head, his father was going to break off the father-son relationship with him. Yes, we used to regard flared pants, long hair, flower shirts, and popular songs that we had never seen before, and we must get rid of them quickly. However, with the progress of the times, it was proved that we were frogs living at the bottom of the well at that time, and the sky we saw was only a little bit bigger. I remember reading an article in the New York Times that was written by a reporter in Beijing at the time. He felt that Beijing was not open enough, not confident enough, not international enough. The simplest criterion is that he has lived in Beijing for several years and has not seen a person who dyes his hair blue! Time has changed. Today, you are standing at the intersection of Sanlitun, not to mention blue or red, even if you walk by a person with seven colors on his head, you don't feel strange at all. Misunderstandings and prejudices are mostly caused by external deception. Open up and try to get to know others, and you'll find that a lot of the differences are missing – in fact, you and I are the same!
Caring and treating them equally begins with getting to know them
Half of the above picture books for special children can be bought on major e-commerce platforms, and many of them have been out of print or have never been introduced, but they can also be used on second-hand book websites to try their luck.
But in addition to reading picture books, there is a more intuitive way to understand special children, that is, films.
Taking the theme of autism as an example, the Chinese documentary "Children of Distant Planets", the Japanese documentary "Walking with the Light", "The Inner World of Autistic Teenagers", the movie "Autism Course", "Marathon", the British drama "Relatively Speechless", are all high-scoring and good-looking video materials, with countless awards, it is very recommended that the whole family watch together (these films can be watched on major video websites, don't ask which resources there are). Because their world is far more exciting than you think, their life story is very inspiring, and it will not only make tears.
Perhaps, after looking at it, you will find that our difference is not as big as you think. Or, we are them, they are us.
Finally, to share a poem by the poet Sherner Koenig, who once suffered from Down syndrome:
"What is Normal"
What is normal? I do not know.
Whether you're white or black, it doesn't matter.
Whether you're yellow or brown, it doesn't matter either.
The important thing is that you are who you are.
Whether your chromosomes are 47 or 46,
None of this matters.
It is important that we care for each other, be happy and carefree,
We are proud of ourselves.
Whether you're tall or short, it doesn't matter.
It is important that our friendship endures and that our tribulations intersect.
It doesn't matter whether you're rich or poor.
What is important is that our hearts are equally pure and flawless.
Whether it's a full house of friends or a few acquaintances, it doesn't matter.
What is important is that we live and die together and never abandon us.
Author: Ling Sanchuan, Editor: Feng Xin, Visual Planner: Shao Tianjiao