Many parents are extremely afraid of their children in the rebellious period. Why be afraid? There are usually two reasons, one is that children in this period are difficult to discipline, will cause trouble for adults, or make adults unhappy. Second, children rebel to challenge the authority of adults, which makes many parents unhappy, some even because they can't manage rebellious children and begin to doubt their own ability, and some even question life.
In fact, this is completely unnecessary, because the rebellious period is something that children must experience in the process of growing up. Reverse rebellion is the psychologist's statement, behind which is the rapid development of children's self-consciousness at this stage, and they begin to have an urgent need for independence, autonomy and freedom, and the rebellious psychology and action shown are just the external manifestations of their independent and autonomous needs.
In fact, there is more than one rebellious period for children, and it is generally believed that children will experience three rebellious periods. The first retrograde period occurs during the toddler period, usually when the child is around two to three years old. There is a saying in English called Terrible Two, which means a terrifying two-year-old period. The two-year-old here is just a false finger, or it may be a few days away from the two-year-old, or it may be more than two years old, or even three or four years old.
In the previous stage, the baby felt that there were many wonderful things to explore. Unlike the previous stage, the toddler will soon discover that the world—including his parents—often exists only to prevent him from getting what he wants when he needs something (that is, now). Now he has greater freedom of action and is eager to experience it. For the first time in his life, he knew what it was like to be a small adult with his own independent will, and the problem was that he did not yet have the ability to be an individual with independent intentions.
Toddlers have little control over their impulses and often lose their temper because of their lack of ability or the world around them, which is the main reason why people call this period the first period of rebellion. In fact, the child at this time is not really rebellious, he is often just prone to tantrums because the frustration is too serious. Adults should allow children to express and explore their own ideas, encourage children to actively try, and help children build their own world.
The second period of rebellion probably occurred around the age of eight or nine. Children at this stage are different from babies in infancy, they think that they have "become a little adult, no longer a child". They will manifest themselves as this identity through some behavior. For example, I don't like to let my parents hold hands, I don't like my parents to call my nickname; I like to do everything with my parents, and the adults say east, and he prefers to go west. However, at this time, they are very dependent on adults, unreasonable, and usually more squeamish, crying, etc.
At this time, children are generally in the lower grades of primary school, often regard the teacher as an authority, and become less trusting of their parents. At this time, parents should not be too insistent on their own opinions, and do not try to convince their children. As children get older and their knowledge and life expand, many of their ideas will change.
The third rebellious period is the child's puberty, which begins around the age of 12 and before the child reaches adulthood. The rebellion of adolescent children is so severe that some psychologists refer to adolescence as a period of rapid storms. Adolescent children are emotionally unstable, irritable, like to be different, and sometimes have very extreme views. Adolescent children do not agree with the opinions and opinions of adults, and even oppose adults for the sake of opposition, especially familiar with the opinions and opinions of adults. They basically only trust peer groups and like to integrate into peer groups. Quite a few children are unable to communicate properly with their parents, and sharp conflicts and confrontations often occur.
What is important about adolescent children is not education, but understanding, trust, respect and support. To understand is to know that this is a necessary stage for the child to become independent and mature, and he does not mean to live with his parents; trust is to believe in the value of his own education and the impact on the child. Your early influence and education on the child determines the appearance of the child during and after puberty, you must have confidence in yourself and the child; respect is to respect the child's independent needs and solitude requirements, give the child more space and freedom to be themselves, pay attention to the child's opinion, give the child the opportunity to choose; support is to learn to silently pay attention to the child, and to help the child in time when the child needs it.
The rebellion of adolescent children is often relatively strong, and some parents always want to suppress their children, which is a must-have. As a parent of an adolescent child, the most important thing to remember should be this sentence: Never compete with adolescent children.