"Do you think you're a perfectionist?"
What you're doing, do you often worry that you're not doing well enough?
A mistake made a few years ago, once again flashed to your mind, are you still remorseful?
Before making a decision, do you plan and calculate repeatedly, and finally you don't?
……
In life, we always want to make people and things perfect, and we are always entangled in imperfect places.
In fact, there is nothing wrong with the pursuit of perfection itself, if you can enjoy it and achieve results, of course, it is very good;
But if you feel physically and mentally exhausted in the pursuit of perfection, maybe your life has been strayed.
The ruler is shorter, the inch is longer.
As Stephen Gass says in How to Be Imperfect:
"The result can only be closer to perfection than to perfectionism if you accept imperfection."
Imperfection is the norm.
Life is originally a "C" to be filled.
Life is originally a "C"
There is a clip in the movie "Black Hole Frequency" about "pursuing perfection, but it backfires".
During a firefighting operation 30 years ago, John's father, Frank, was tragically killed in the line of duty.
By chance, John was looking through his father's belongings when he found an old-fashioned radio that his father had used during his lifetime.
While flipping through the frequency bands, John hooked up with a young man with the same name as his father.
After a long night of conversation, John was sure that there was a time-space disorder: Frank on the other side of the radio was his father 30 years ago.
John was so excited that he managed to help his father escape the fire, according to newspaper reports at the time.
However, John, who succeeded in saving his father, was completely unaware that everything in history was rewritten:
John saves his father while his mother dies in a serial murder many years ago;
When John contacts his father again 30 years ago by radio, intending to get his father to prevent his mother from being killed, his father accidentally becomes a suspect...
The more John strives for perfection, the more life becomes a mess.
He even "sent" his father to prison at one point, but fortunately, he later caught the murderer, and things took a turn for the better.
Leo Tolstoy said, "If you strive for perfection, you will never be satisfied." ”
Life is also like this, in vain to change the past, it is better to withdraw your mind and focus on the present.
There are always flaws in life, and any beauty is not the whole of life.
Observe with real eyes, accept with an inclusive attitude, and you will find that when the original is not perfect, there is also sunshine and color everywhere.
As Lin Yutang said in "Life Is Just Like This":
"Imperfection is the most perfect life."
It is precisely because of imperfection that everything in life is more real; it is also because of imperfection that our daily life becomes meaningful and more worth exploring.
An imperfect life, more pursuits
Blindly pursuing perfection will only exhaust yourself physically and mentally.
Based on imperfection, more room for growth can be developed.
"Popeye" is a classic animation that lingers in the minds of the post-90s generation.
In the film, the protagonist Bobby, who likes to hold a pipe, is a thin sailor.
However, whenever a crisis comes, he will swallow a jar of spinach, become strong, and punch the bad guy to the ground.
Art comes from life, and Popeye's prototype is none other than the boxer Fogg.
In the interview, Fogg said:
"My dream is to become a professional boxer, but my body is not perfect.
The people in the town thought I didn't deserve to punch, but I just wanted to prove it to them. ”
The Fergus in life were born short in stature and did not have much strength.
Since childhood, he has been bullied by his peers.
But he never bowed to reality and chose to progress in the beating.
Each time he was knocked to the ground, Fogg would think about it and figure out a set of moves to dodge such attacks.
The imperfection of his body made Fogg a different path and became a "flexible boxer".
Finally, after years of training and running-in, Fogg used his unique fighting skills to show his skills on the boxing stage:
Defeated countless boxers with perfect bodies and became the famous "general of the town".
In the Wild, it is said:
"No one's life will always be perfect, but at all times, look ahead and be invincible with hope."
Perfection is the direction we are heading.
The moment you realize that you are imperfect is also the beginning of self-change.
Move first, then look for opportunities.
On the way to perfection, "what to do" is always more important than "what to think".
Completion is more important than perfection
"Done is better than perfect."
This phrase is the motto of Facebook, one of the world's largest social platforms.
From the early days of Zuckerberg's entrepreneurship, this slogan has been posted in the company as a code of conduct to motivate employees.
Zach himself is a person who "realizes an idea as soon as he thinks of it", and he doesn't care if the result will be perfect, but finishes the idea first.
During his studies at Harvard, Zach simply designed a social networking site that was well received by some of his classmates.
He immediately decided to establish a platform for university students to communicate.
In just about a week, Zach set up a website called Facebook.
He once confessed that at the beginning he did not know what to make the website look like, but he and his partners bravely conceived, tried and made mistakes, overturned, and improved, and only then did they have the current scale.
Zach said:
"No one's idea is perfect from the start, it only gradually becomes clear when you start doing it, you just have to start acting."
Action can overcome all hesitation.
In the face of a thing, the first thing we pursue should be to complete it.
On the basis of moving, we will strive for excellence.
If we blindly pursue perfection, we will only fall into the dead end of self-doubt, stop at the beginning, and eventually miss the opportunity.
Learn to be an "imperfectionist"
Abasser in StarCraft says:
"It's never perfect, perfection is a goal of change.
Never stop pursuing, but always on the road. ”
On the road to perfection, the first thing we have to do is to accept our imperfect selves.
How do you accept yourself as an "imperfectionist"?
Here are three small ways to share with you:
Shift your mindset, life is not a 0 and a 1
The ancients said:
"Walk to the water poor road and cross itself, sit and watch the clouds rise and the sky is high."
This means that there is no absolute in everything, and there is a road at the end of the road.
Life is the same, there is never only an either/or choice.
I once read a very philosophical little story.
The old monk asked the young monk:
"What do you do if one step forward is death, and one step back is death?"
The little monk replied without hesitation, "I'll go to the side." ”
In life, it is easy for us to fall into the dead corner of the two-choice thinking.
However, life is composed of uncertainty, and it is better to change the angle of dilemma.
Because life is not 0 and 1, there is a road next to the road.
Lower expectations
The Tao Te Ching says:
"There is no greater misfortune than dissatisfaction, and no greater blame than desire."
This means that dissatisfaction is the worst of the woes, and insatiable greed is the deepest calamity.
Eighty percent of life's pain stems from overconfidence and dissatisfaction.
Ask too much of others and torture yourself; ask too much of yourself and bind yourself.
If the moon is profitable, it will lose, and when the water is full, it will overflow.
Even if the world is as good as ever, there are always places where the sun can't shine.
Instead of holding the high expectation of "success in one fell swoop", it is better to calm down to improve strength and cultivate the confidence to face difficulties.
Lower your expectations, don't ask others, and don't force yourself anymore.
A journey in life, meeting is a gift, gain and loss, is a kind of growth.
Make good use of the power of micro-habits
There is a famous twenty-mile rule in psychology that says:
It's about three thousand miles from Santiago to somewhere, a journey that is very complex and often subject to weather changes.
How many miles per day is the most appropriate speed to walk after this journey?
The answer: walking 20 miles a day takes about 5 months.
For this answer, many people feel surprised and have said:
"People who are new to the journey are physically energetic and can walk up to 40 miles if the weather is clear and the terrain is flat."
Psychologists have found that these people start out and try their best to walk 40 miles a day, and when they reach the halfway point of the journey, their physical strength and enthusiasm are almost exhausted.
In the end, you can only drag your tired body forward, and it will take even a year to reach the end.
Those who finished at the allotted time insisted on walking 20 miles a day from beginning to end, reaching the finish line on schedule.
Growing up is a slow process that needs to be done slowly.
No one is asking us to condense what we do well in ten days into one day, what we really need is to develop the micro-habit of doing a small thing every day.
If you can't finish a book in a week, read a few pages a day and read it for a month;
If high-intensity exercise is too exhausting, start by doing a few sit-ups a day...
Micro habits are very simple, it only takes a few seconds to make a plan, and it only takes a few minutes to complete the plan.
The easy completion of the plan will give us the motivation to continue and the confidence to persevere.
As the saying goes: "If you don't do small things, big things are difficult to achieve." ”
On the road of life, we take the process.
If you don't act after thinking about it, it is better to accumulate slowly and persist all the time.
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The Lost Corner says:
"A circle with a missing horn misses an opportunity the first time it finds a suitable corner, and destroys that corner the second time by using too much force;
In the end, it was finally complete, but it was found that the perfect circle rolled too fast, and lost the scenery and original happiness along the way. ”
Life is the same, all things, at first imperfect.
After polishing and polishing, it will gradually become complete.
On the road of life, the scenery of each stop is beautiful.
Take a ride, love a ride, accept it calmly, and work hard to get upwards is what we should look like.
As the saying goes: "Speed first, perfection second; action first, thought second; determination first, success or failure second." ”
Happiness never depends on the eyes of others, but only on one's own affirmation of oneself.